I’ve been lurking for a long time, but I don’t recall ever posting anything. That’s probably because I’m kind of timid and don’t have any strong opinions. I hope I don’t get snarked too much, I don’t really know how to respond to that kind of thing.
I’m really just a nice, mild-mannered, normal, average guy. I hope I can fit in here somehow.
Sorry, we misplaced the squid. You’ll have to find a different message board.
Don’t parodies go in the Pit?
say what, you’ve been killed and replaced by a shapeshifter.
Somehow, I get the feeling you’ll fit right in.
This is, of course, a parody thread, and is probably in violation of many SDMB rules. But yeah, “introducing myself” threads are pointless and annoying. If you’ve got something to say, then post a comment or start a thread. If you’ve got nothing to say then nobody cares who you are. At least not on-line.
And all the “introducing myself” threads carry the likelihood of being troll handiwork, which makes commenting in them dicey.
(ahem)
Bodacious Lurker.
Maybe he’s so new he doesn’t know what “lurker” means around here?
Whaaat?
If only all lurkers could provide us with gems like How many ways are there to skin a cat?
I don’t talk to strangers. 
I never formally introduced myself, myself. So here I go:
I’m Silver Screen legend and leadership expert Happy O. Lendervedder. I was born on the Fourth of July, but in leap year, so it doesn’t really count. Turn-ons include, but aren’t limited to: naked women, naked women laying down, pictures of naked women, and the sounds of naked women doing things. Turn-offs include, and are totally limited to: You and your stupid face. I drink beer like it’s water, drink water like it’s water, and eat cheeseburgers at every meal. I rub whiskey on my ball sack nightly, and drink shots of ball sack lotion daily. I once smoked opium with a Madagascaran general while eating lemon cake with whores. I love Neil Diamond, and once loved a woman named Nell Diamond (no relation). Turkeys freak me the fuck out. Nice to meet you all, and I hope I fit in.
Twenty-three!?
Forty-seven!?
Eleven!!
Pass!
I see it didn’t take long for the complete asshole contingent to show up. Maybe before calling me a troll, you might actually wait until I do something troll-like.
I see people all the time on this board that want new people to come in and when one does, the assholes like you do everything you can to drive them away.
To be clear, I was just making fun of intro threads (though yours did inspire me). I have no idea what’s bothering Baal. I did sort of welcome you. And I admire your post here. You’re going to fit in just fine.
Hey this thread was supposed to take a turn and become focused on me.
Where’s my beer?
Welcome to the SDMB, Kimballkid. We have rules against insulting other posters, and a non-specific reference to “the asshole contingent” is considered an insult. You might benefit from reviewing this and other rules here.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator
Focus!! Focus!! It’s all about Happy .
And thank you TriPolar, I sincerely hope I can become a contributing member of [del]society[/del] this board.
If you have an issue with another poster, take it to the Pit. If you wish to discuss a particular genre of thread, I think ATMB would be a better place.
And junior-modding is never appropriate.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator
I have no idea what to do in this thread.
I think I’ll hop on one foot and play the kazoo.