I used to teach chess as a side gig, but mostly for a little community enrichment. As with most childhood activities, the kids eventually grow out of it or the parents decide they don’t want to spend the cash anymore, and everyone goes on with their lives.
Except James. James now follows me on chess.com. He pings me in the chat windows. He posts to my message board. He comments on my articles. He emails me tournament notices and chess stories. It’s really quite annoying.
So I blocked him. Then he emailed me asking why I blocked him. I didn’t respond, so he called me to ask why I blocked him.
I get that he doesn’t have the social awareness to know he’s being uncouth, but how do I tell him “Look, kid, I don’t work for you anymore. We’re not friends. Go away!” without hurting his sensitive feelings?
Autism spectrum kids by definition are atypical in terms of interpersonal interaction. A simple email to the parents will probably make this a teaching moment.
You can also like ZipperJJ wrote, just be professional and tell him its not appropriate. Given your ex student is somewhere on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum, it might actually sink in. However, be prepared that it might take many many many multiple repetitions for the message to actually land.
FYI, As the parent of an autism spectrum 10 year old, I personally would be very appreciative of learning if my child had inappropriate behavior.
I might do that. I’m a little uneasy contacting his parents because I think they’re still in denial that he’s any different than a normal kid, but it’s obvious to me and some other adults that know him. Then again, I have professional experience and training with autism spectrum disorders, so maybe I’m more sensitive to it than others.
I’ve just never received a call on my personal phone from such a child asking why I don’t answer him anymore. It’s very sad
You don’t need to bring up the autism or any of the underlying reasons for the behavior. Just politely tell them what the kid is doing and you’d appreciate it if he’d stop.
He probably just thinks you’re best friends. Definitely talk to the parents, but don’t just block him out without getting them to help him with understanding this. Even if they’re in denial about his social issues they can help him accept the “break-up”. If you can’t talk to the parents, at least send him a message explaining that it’s not appropriate for grown-ups and kids to have this sort of friendship. My daughter is nine and autistic and I think she would understand, even though it would sting. It isn’t going to hurt as bad as you suddenly blocking him out of your life.
Just don’t respond. He’ll get the message eventually. If he calls you on the phone again, hang up without saying anything the instant you become aware who it is. (If you have Caller ID, just don’t pick up.)
It isn’t necessary that he “understands” - just that he stops bothering you.
