If Isabelle had cooked up this mock ceremony herself I would see grounds to object to its efficacy. However, Isabelle’s friend asked for her participation and support and I see nothing wrong with going along with it (as long as Isabelle is clear exactly what the ceremony is meant to accomplish, that is: a good reason to continue to communicate with the friend so to understand the purpose and tone of the event). She is supporting a friend’s choice, which she is free to do if she chooses. If she does not, she can voice her objections and decline to participate.
If Isabelle’s friend does not want a ceremony meant to make a political statement, and to make any effort to enact real change in the world, and does not want to contact the press or the politicians to make this mock ceremony into a real catalyst for reform, I completely fail to understand why this board should expect Isabelle to do more in this regard for her friend than her friend is willing to do for herself. If the ceremony is a waste of time, politically, then it is Isabelle’s—and her friend’s—time to waste.
I don’t know, Lance Murdock—and I would like to see gay marriage made viable, so I’m sympathetic to their cause—but I’m not prepared to say that gays and lesbians must all think, speak, vote, and behave in lockstep to achieve the political goals of their majority. There is no “gay community.” All people are permitted to be different and to want different things. If this particular person, Isabelle’s friend, doesn’t wish to make a statement, and if in fact she wishes to mock the seriousness of the statement, I’m not going to tell her that she must toe the party line and behave only in ways of which other lesbians and gays approve.
Of course, Isabelle is free to quietly ask her friend these same discussion points in hopes that her theatrical instincts could be channeled into some other event: a more productive one, perhaps, depending on one’s point of view. I’m sure she’s taking good points away from this thread to ask her friend. But if Isabelle would rather not, and would prefer the planned event take place, so be it; I won’t berate her for it.
[QUOTE=Isabelle
She is just let’s say…hmmmmm Well let’s just say I am a “girlie girl” all the way and she is not. She is more rugged and outdoorsy.
She said she is going to wear a tux.
No I am not going to give her a vase! Can you imagine me standing at the altar and the minister asks to exchange the “sacred” gift and I whip out a vase? NO NO NO that won’t do.
It has to be a REAL gift!!![/QUOTE]
The vase is kind of phallic isn’t it?
Anyway, If she’s not, ahem, a girlie girl, then the only real gift to give her is a flannel shirt. That’s what all the butch’s are wearing these days.
She is more rugged and outdoorsy.