Correct, Colin:) Being Brittish doesn’t seem to have precluded you from being intelligent, evidently:)
Thank you. Never heard it referred to that way.
I didn’t want to have to type out the whole dern thing.
Oh well.
FPK, I can act! And I am not gay! So, when should I pick you up?
I think FPK will be free when I’m through with her 
I assure you, FPK is not free. Nor does she offer herself as such:)
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhk-lahoma, every night my honey-lamb and I,
Sit alone and talk,
And watch a hawk,
Makin’ lazy circles in the sky!
Hi, Kitty. lurkernomore told me to stop by because you’re bummin’. I think andygirl has a point about tuning your gaydar if you have a penchant towards theater guys, (and for cryin’ out loud, stay away from make-up and costume guys, and directors, too). Better yet, check to make sure they don’t wait tables before showing an interest!
Then again, you might have better luck sticking with the tech guys - they’re usually straight (that’s who I always hung out with).
I do have just a little experience in musical comedies (can you guess that I was “Curly” in Oklahoma and sang the above?). I was involved in theater up through college, and I’ll probably join a local theater group in town next year, too. You know I’m not gay, and girls tell me I’m cute, so you see? You shouldn’t abandon all hope of snagging someone afterall. Just keep being yourself, and the right guy will find you soon enough.
OK, the part’s been cast, and all you other guys are now dismissed. Thank you for auditioning, and have a nice day 
So, Miss Kitty, when do rehearsals start?
Can’t I at least be the 
understudy?
Can I be the wardrobe or makeup or techie guy who everyone assumes is either gay or asexual but who one female takes a chance with and changes his life forever?
Alright DW you’ve been cast, you have the leading role. idly remembers little Tina from Ruthless
Colin you can be the understudy just because I find British accents cute.
Iampunha can be the tech guy. Although the gay guy I met was a techie… sniffle
Auditions start tomorrow night, rest up my cuddly DW you’ve got a long night ahead of you. The rest of you hire more of the cast, the more the horni… ummm I meant merrier, yeah, we’re merry not horny, right? Oh well see you all at rehearsal. winks at DW with a soft purr
Drama Kitty
Well, I’m definitely not gay, but I was in drama in High School, I know how to sew (and do it well, too), and I’ve gotten some interesting looks from people who aren’t used to seeing men in kilts (try stopping for gas in some small town in the boonies in Texas in a kilt sometime…it’s quite an experience.)
As for cute, well, my wife thinks I’m fairly handsome, so maybe I fit that description…
Don’t give up hope. Maybe you should try a Scottish festival instead of a Drama festival…
Yeah, we all have the problem - no one wears uniforms so we never can be sure which team they're on. There are some real cute lesbians out there, too.
How about being in a place and knowing before you go in you have no shot whatsoever? I play darts (great game - even in bowling you have to put down your beer while you shoot- not darts) and there was a lesbian bar in the league a few years. Gotta tell you, it’s a weird feeling the first time. Once you were in and didn’t act like a jerk, it was probably the friendliest place in the league.
Hey, I’ll try to read a script. if not, uh, maybe I can help build the set.
Thank you. I hope he realizes how lucky he is.They don’t have to look like male models, heck, if my standards were even half that high I wouldn’t get a date for my entire high school career.
Kilt-wearin’ man,
You have just been cast as the love interest that was never meant to be, alright?
lurkernomore,
Yo can be all purpose set/techie guy with iampunha.
Any suggestions for a play?
Drama Kitty
I’ve always had a weakness for Wilde. How about Lady Windemere’s Fan? Or does the understudy have no say in the matter?