I’m returning to this thread because it haunted me all last night. I’m surprised to be quite turned-on by it because I haven’t played this way before.
As a pretty vanilla woman who’s tiring of passive men, I’ll offer my 2 cents. My most recent lover found his way into my bed the night I met him after his very first kiss, which drove me crazy. All he did was gather a large handful of my hair at the back of my head, close to the scalp, firmly but not painfully. He took charge of the kiss by turning my head, tipping it back, or pulling it toward him, and I responded because it felt like he was taking control and very, very passionate. Later that night I let him continue to be in charge, and he positioned me how he wanted me, and very firmly directed me when not to use my hands, corrected me, or pulled me tight against him. He withheld his climax for hours, teasing me by not letting me satisfy him yet. It was my best sex ever.
Now you’re whetting my new appetite and I’ve got no one to play with.
I’ve got a suggesting for that too: bondage.com. I won’t make a link because…I can’t, they wouldn’t like it. But it’s a great site. I’ve met a lot of interesting people there including the one I’m in love with.
I’ve not much in the way of concrete advices, ** Belrix **, but I just though I would say : try not to overthink it. In my opinion, D/s is more about what you feel than what you do. If you’re concentrated about “let’s remember the plan. It was step 17, so now it’s time to do XYZ”, you might not enjoy it very much. If you’re personnally attracted by D/s (as opposed to giving in something your SO fantasize about but you’re not really fond of) try to feel dominant rather than pretend to be so, and enjoy it. She’ll notice the difference.
By the way, ** betenoir **, thanks for the adress. I’m visiting the site right now, and I wonder how I never noticed it, given its blatantly obvious name.
Well, there’s that. And the fact that you subsequently plan to order her to crawl on her hands and knees on those floors. It’s all about the planning, from the dom’s POV.
Blindfolded (this always added a little fun because they don’t know what’s going to happen next).
You can get her from behind or go round to the other side and get some happy oral action from her.
You can also bring out some new buzzing toys and suprise her. The new glass/pyrex toys are fun as well. The fun part is if she isn’t expecting these things. All of a sudden she’s got a strange thing in her and loving it.
[obligatory Monty Python reference] Not the cushy chair! [/oMPr]
But I do agree with the blindfold thing…makes pretty much anything you do D/s including feathers and fuzzy bunnies…ok not fuzzy bunnies, don’t involve bunnies in your sex life, that’s just wrong. But it might free up your imagination a bit and make here feel more properly vunerable.
One good position that isn’t too annoying for the participants but still properly restrictive is to have her lie on her back with legs bent, arms down. Match up the left ankle with the left wrist, and tie (find some nice soft robe sashes to start with). Then take another sash and tie right ankle to right wrist. This’d work for man on top or side-by-side from behind (spooned up behind her), and can create a vulnerable feeling without being overly complex.
There there. No one says you have to do all those things on the first day. Or ever. But hey, the point is you know more about what the guy has done…or wants to do, than you would if you met him at a church social.
And you can make it very clear about what you don’t want to do.
