So there I am running with my dogs, like any normal 17 yr old when BANG! I ran straight into (and i kid you not) barbed wire. blood everywhere, shirt ripped open, fingers sliced and in considerable pain. :smack:
2 hours later im stiched, bandaged and numb (right hand - ring finger) . Now how do i face everyone at school with an obvious bandage and tell them I ‘ran into barbed wire’ - Answer? I lie But… what do i tell them
Thats were you come in, I want some exotic, but plausiable suggestions for better injuries. Injuries you’d be proud to say you sustained. I will then take the best one and use it as my cover.
P.S I apoligise for any spelling mistakes etc. but its so hard to type like this, I’ve made so many corrections its unreal - everytime i try and use my bandaged finger i hit four keys at once
Umm… you were trying to rescue Thing from a flaming building?
Arm-wrestled The Rock?
Any sports injury could work. If you want pity, you need to have been doing something worthwhile or interesting and less stupid. How about “I hurt it playing the piano for 100 hours straight for charity?”
Tell them you you sliced it while trying to tinker with your car. I used that one.
(“But Brahe,” they’d say. “You’re one of the least mechanically inclined people I know. Your mental automotive blueprint has two sections: ‘Here, in which I sit’ and ‘the oily other stuff.’ You’ve never shown the slightest interest in fiddling with your car.”
“That’s right,” I’d reply, cradling my permanently disfigured extremity. “And I never will again.”)
“They were throwing knives at me, which I would catch and throw back at them. That sort of thing can really demoralize a ninja troop. Then I tried to catch a shuriken by mistake…”
You were attacked by wolves and had to fight them off using only your right ring finger (as your other hand was occupied keeping the dogs in check, so they didn’t rip the wolves’ throats out before you could.
Unfortunately, you had run off (possibly with injuries, you know know that they ran in fear) the entire pack of wolves but one, when, out of nowhere, a brown recluse spider dropped onto your hand. You brushed the spider off before it bit you, but in your distraction the final wolf bit your hand before dashing away.
How about riding a motorcycle through the woods at night and caught some chest-high barbed wire? That’s pretty badass, but it’s also (ahem) plausible. It happened to a guy in my large, woodsy backyard when I was a kid. Well, OK, he was on a bicycle, but make it a motorcycle.
Ok. I’ve told this story before, but I will let you have it. Unfortunately, for you, it will not be true, but for my late husband it was.
He stubbed his toe getting out of the shower (I kid you not), but he didn’t just stub it, turns out he broke it. His big toe. Anyway, he arrives at work late, limping. Inevitably he is asked how he injured himself. And, God love him, his answer was, “The only thing I can tell you is I was naked when it happened.”
Those guys spent the entire day trying to figure out what he and I were doing that morning that would have broken his toe. They are a pretty imaginative bunch.
There - take it - have fun with it.
Say you were performing dark occultic rituals to summon unholy monstrosties, and one of the shoggoths got a bit uppity and got a lucky swipe in. Of course, you showed it who was boss, after you turned a flamethrower on it.
Either that or say you were in a fight with a platoon of Ninja-Pirate-Deep One Commandos.
OK, whatever excuse you decide to use, make sure to say it involved a really cute girl.
For instance, you stopped to help this stone fox who was having car trouble, but her psycho ninja commando boyfriend saw you together and pulled a knife on you, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Or a totally hot babe flagged you down and asked you to help get her kitten out of a tree, but she didn’t mention that her “kitten” was a half-grown cheetah!
Or, how about this? You met this drop-dead gorgeous college girl who had a thing for nature, so the two of you went to this field to get frisky. But just before the deed was to be done you discovered that this pasture was inhabited by a very large, very territorial bull. So the two of you went streaking across the field, and gentleman that you are, you held the barbed wire (pronounced ‘bob war’, by the way) for her to crawl through, and the bull caught up just as you were crawling through yourself. Be creative about the wounds they can’t see and the very special way your new friend ‘cleaned and dressed’ them for you
Or just say you cut yourself shaving.
But whatever you do, come up with a good one. When I was five my mom was teaching me to rollerskate and fell backwards over somebody who fell behind HER, breaking her elbow in the process. When she went to work with her arm in a sling, she got all sorts of sympathy…until she told them what had happened. Then she just got laughed at.
But hey, I can skate. Not gracefully, not fast, but I CAN skate. Thanks, Mom!
My favotrite method is to always use partial truths. Luckily (???) most of my injuries have actually occurred doing cool things, but for those that weren’t, here’s what I did:
I broke my ankle playing basketball, trying to dunk on these two huge guys, one of whom checked me hard mid air and took me out. (truth: I was shooting hoops by myself, and just rolled my ankle badly)
I broke my rib in a fall. “What were you doing?” Oh, just this downhill bike race, you know, jumping a huge drop - my wheel broke on the landing, and I went flying (the real truth: I fell in the shower, but since most of my injuries really are from bike races, it’s believable).
So, you could use this as follows: You were running with your dogs, and one of them got away. You later found them yelping, tangled up in a mess of barbed wire. You had to go in there bare handed to free them before they bled to death, then take them to the vet, where they kindly stitched up your hand as well. This would score points with the girls. Or, your dogs could have gotten in a fight with a nasty attack dog, and you had to break it up, getting your finger bitten in the process. You have to keep enough truth that it’s believable, but replace anything uncool with something cool. At least that’s what I do…
But… what do i tell them
