Help me...he's hot and I'm scared...

In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)
#1

Funny…the only place I felt I could turn with my situation is a forum full of strangers…

Ok, here’s what we’ve got. I’ve been working at the vet’s clinic for a month and a half now, and everything is going great. I’m learning a lot of things that will help me in my career of choice, and I love it.

There are five people working there…Doc, me, the receptionist, and two other guys who help in the back and assist in the surgery room (basically sitting there watching, and turning up the anesthetic if need be), which is what I do.

The receptionist is great, I get along with her just fine. One of the guys, he’s pretty cool as well.

The other guy, though…that’s where I get…um…weird.

I’m 21 years old, and a single mother.

This guy is 18. I don’t know if he’s single or not. I wish I knew.

I like him. I like him a lot. Probably too much, but that’s not the point.

What I want to know is, how many 18 year old guys would be interested in an older, slightly overweight single mom? He seems like a real nice guy, but I think that’s only because we both love animals and have the same job, and work together. If he knew how I really feel about him…I don’t know what kind of reaction I’d get. I don’t know his status when it comes to relationships…he strikes me as the type to be with a cheerleader or something.

I also don’t know what to do about the whole work/relationship taboo thing. What happens if I let him know how I feel, he turns me down, and I continue to work with him? Can we say tension…humiliation…awkwardness…

I just can’t get over how much I like this guy. I know it’s just a crush…but the way we talk, the way we throw wise cracks back and forth like a comedy team…I don’t know. I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have right now, but I need to see where this could go.

Any hints, anything, on how I could beat around the bush and see what his reaction could possibly be…?

#2

I’m probably going to get stoned or lynched for this, but here goes:

I was an 18 year-old boy once(long time ago). Looking back, I think a 21 year old woman with a child would have intimidated me. I would have felt too wet behind the ears; like the woman was too much older and wiser for me to handle a relationship with her.

He probably would feel a lot more comfortable with a cheerleader than with a 21 year-old mother. Maybe he’s so loose and comfortable with you because he can’t visualize the two of you being involved.

At best, walk softly into this.

Maybe this guy is an exception and if so, good luck!

#3

Thanks…I think.

#4

My brother’s good friend was dating a woman 5 years older - and she had a small child. I think he was 20 and she was 25…Maybe not quite the same as an 18 year old guy with a 21 year old mom…but similar! So hey, it can work out…

However, because you work so closely with this person I would say tread carefully. Maybe I’m a coward, but I think I would try to determine if this guy liked me in that way first. Then I would feel more comfortable about possibly hinting that I like him more than just platonically.

Still, workplace romances are known for being off limits for a reason. If things go awry it can get icky real quick. It sounds like you have a very small group where you work, so yes, it could get awkward.

Sorry if that wasn’t all that helpful…I do wish you much luck Spongemom !
Keep us posted!

#5

He’s a coworker, at a job that you love. This is a no-no. I wouldn’t say anything to him. Yes, some 18 year olds are LTR/marriage material at that age, but chances are the best case scenario here would be a hot affair for a few months. That’s all well and good, but what happens after it gets boring and you two break up, yet still have to see each other at work every day? Or, God forbid, what happens if a potential employer gets wind of you nailing a coworker (because let’s face it, IF something starts up with this guy it’ll end up in the rumor mill)? There are just too many ways this can come back to bite you in the ass.

Three year’s difference is not that big of a deal, although having a child makes you an “old” 21, no doubt. He may be an unusually responsible and grounded 18 year old, though. And the weight thing? Pfft. I’ve been fat all my life and have never been without gentlemen callers (when I wanted them). Not all guys want their women to be stick figures.

You’re apparently a responsible mother with a neat job, and you’re tough enough to take care of yourself. Why wouldn’t a guy want to hook up with a woman like you?

Now if he ever quits working there, take him out in the woods and show him the ways of the Jedi!

#6

Abbie, this board is Sooooooo corrupting you! :smiley:

Spongemom, the workplace warning is pretty valid. The age/mom aspect not necessarily a worry. I admit that I’m not into getting into an instant Dad-hood relationship, but the right woman with a great kid & maybe!

#7

It’s mainly the workplace thing that’s keeping my mouth shut. I can imagine how uncomfortable it would be working there if things went stale.

#8

Your instincts are absolutely right in this situation. Don’t dip your pen in company ink - or, in your case, don’t dip the company pen in your private ink.