How best to approach a girl at work?

I know some of you will say that dating people you work with is not a good idea, but for some people work is the only place you really meet people, and lots of people have gotten married who used to work together. So what is the best way to try to start up a relationship with someone at work, without of course straying into sexual hairyassment, or making things awkward?

I’m not too sure, the girls I fancied at work tried it on with me after they’d left for other offices and the third one who did so is now the mother of my daughter :smiley:

My only experience getting close to a girl I worked with ended spectacularly badly- so badly it still upsets me a couple of years later. :frowning:

Honestly, no matter how much you like this girl, I think you’ll find it’s not worth the potential aggravation and inevitable problems at work that will arise, especially if other people get jealous or things do get awkward.

Just my 2c, and your results may vary…

How best to approach a girl at work?

Not sure, but I strongly recommend you don’t tell her your online username is Feces of Death

Beyond that - as I said, not sure. I tried it a bit when younger and I just tried to perceive if there was a little ‘something more’ when we spoke - and if so, asked them out for something casual. And I never considered a woman in my general department…

Generally, it ain’t a good idea to get your honey where you get your money, but it can work.

First of all, you and your prospective date would have to be mature enough to keep your relationship out of the office, meaning that if you two have an argument, it doesn’t spill over into the workplace, making it hard for you to work together. Sounds easy, but a lot of people find that it isn’t.

Keep it light at first: ask her if she’d like to go get some coffee or lunch a couple of times, rather than jump right in with a request for a date. If things seem to be going well, go ahead and move on into “date mode” from there. Keep it friendly-- even if you knocked boots the night before, keep yourself professional in the workplace the next day (discuss this beforehand so she doesn’t think you’re giving her the cold shoulder.) In other words, avoid showing affection in the workplace. It isn’t appropriate.

Maybe rather than seeking out contrived tactics on how to catch your prey like some sort of furtrapper, just try being friendly in a general way and see who you get on with before making plans of capture. After all, the advantage of them being co-workers is that without leaving the job, they can’t easily escape in the first place. It depends on your workplace, but I’d suggest subtlety and patience in your pursuit - mainly because I drunkenly canoodled with a girl from a neighbouring office and am only back on speaking terms 3 years down the line, out of awkwardness. So maybe tread a little carefully.

Every day, forward a couple dozen pr0n jpegs to her email account. Make sure the subject line is always “You and me, babe, how about it?”

Chicks dig that completely.

According to Saturday Night Live:

[li]Be Handsome[/li][li]Be Attractive[/li][li]Don’t Be Unattractive[/li][/ul]

See? It’s simple.

Ask Lobsang, and do the opposite.

That’s harsh, man.

As for the girl at work, I learned the hard way that it’s always a bad idea to dip your pen in the company ink. You should befriend her and perhaps she could introduce you to a couple of her friends.

Wait for her at night in the parking garage, leap from hiding and yell BOO! ?

I like to start with “Don’ts”.

Don’t do what Bush did to the German Chancelor at the G8 Summit meeting.

Sidle up to her. Sidling always works.

(bolding mine)

And, by all means, don’t get your meat where you get your bread either. :smiley:

This is absolutely vital. If things don’t work out, you’ll need to be able to avoid her. Otherwise, it’s just awkward as all hell.

Accompanied by your attorney.

I took a short seminar on labor law, with several hours devoted to the boundaries of sexual harrassment. Romance between co-workers is not illegal. However…

Relationships between a boss and a subordinate are loaded with traps. It’s seldom a good idea.

“Unwanted advances” are harrassment. The key word is “unwanted,” so pay attention. The rule sorta amounts to one free pass. Asking for a date once is not harrassment. Once refused, a second ask could be harrassment. Overtly sexual advances can get you nailed even on the first try. So…

“I’d like to take you out to dinner.” =Right, if you haven’t already been turned away.

“I’d like to tie you up and bttfck you.” Wrong, wrong, wrong. Unless she accepts. If not, you’re fired.

Ignore her. Don’t be rude: I mean, smile and nod professionally in the hallway and stuff. Be cordial but distant. Let her firmly develop the idea that you wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. During this time, you should look your best and give her plenty of opportunity to see the goods (no, not those goods). But she can’t have none, no she can’t!

Let a couple weeks/months go by, keep it up. Then one day suddenly thaw and be all like: “Did you change your hair? Wow, that looks really great on you.” Or something like that. Don’t gush, but sort of give off this vibe of, “you did something different and I’m just noticing that you’re not unattractive.” Just pay attention to a superficial detail and give her a good flirty compliment with a side dish of confident non-chalance. If she’s at all interested she’ll go into air raid alert mode for a couple of weeks, preening herself whenever you’re around, watching you, making little noises to attract your attention, etc. Just like a little bird calling for a mate.

Wait a couple days, then ask her if she wants to get a coffee sometime.

Rule No. 3: Never get your honey where you get your money.
Good advice!

Is she your supervisor or underling? If either- then HELL NO!

Is she in your unit? Then don’t.

But if she just works for the same co, in the same building, then sure.

Stop by a couple times, and say hello- introduce yourself. Then, ask her about going for coffee. Then lunch.