#1 U doan talk liek that to ketteh!
#2 I iz this many yeers
#3 I hearz skwerl! U hearz too?
Those were great and this 'un made me laugh too.
U NO… I CUD RIP UR GUTZ OUT WITH THEEZ
Meez 2! 
That got a LOL!!
#2: Calm urself, young padawan
ETA: From a friend for #2: Az soon az my nailz dry I destroy ur sofa…!
#2 - Woah. Mah pawz kin tuch anyting…
…But demselves
For # 3 (even though you’ve submitted already :D): I think teh brittish iz comming!
Hee! That’s another excellent one! Maybe I should go ahead and submit that one too.
Not only am I late, but I’m derivative, but FWIW #3 could be
FACELESS CAT
HAS NO FACE
or, of course,
INVISIBLE FACE
It took me a couple minutes to flip the image mentally from cat facing away to cat facing forward with no face, but now I can’t unsee it!
I has no cat. Dat why U like hers better?
I sent her the link. 
(She won’t get it until Monday.)
#2: Invisbal “allzin” bet at teh Wirld Kitteh Pokr Champinchip
I love the nails one! Perfect!
MY HED HAS A BAK
PRAPS UD LIK 2 PET IT
#3
Iz wanz 2b alonez.
Or
I doeznt talx to bipedz
No, no, no…it’s “You made me a cheezbrgr, but you eated it?”
nice!
Hee hee! Another great one! 
Lynn, I agree, “cheezbrgr” would be funny too, but “cookie” riffs on this classic lolcat.