The longstanding BF and I are finally getting married this Halloween. We met while building a fundraiser haunted house and Halloween is our favorite holiday, so it seems only natural to have the wedding then. No Wiccan connection.
My heavily Catholic family is already freaking out. I need some help assuring them that I will not be sacrificing little baby bunnies to the Dark Sith Overloards. Not during the ceremony, anyway.
I’d point them towards websites like this one, but it doesn’t seem like enough.
So, did anyone else out there get married on Halloween? Any subsequent rain storms of frogs? Any advice in general?
I, also, worked in a fundraiser haunted house for a few years, and it is crazy fun. What a great story to tell the young 'un’s! I love celebrating Halloween, I generally dress up as a witch and try to scare the trick or treater’s. (Nothing too scary, but it’s so difficult to get the little beggers to perform any tricks for the candy anymore!)
I have a heavily Catholic/Fundamentalist/Russian Orthodox family, so my love of creepy things is a persistant thorn in their sides.
Are you planning a Halloween themed wedding ceremony? That would be the only “reasonable” point of dissention if it were my family. My family would freak!!! My only suggestion would be a ceremony which would make the family feel that you were married, and perhaps a Halloween themed reception.
If you are planning a more traditional type wedding, even if not a Catholic service, I don’t see why the date would be an issue. If anything, it would replace that date as a “wicked” holiday with one filled with wonderful, loving memories.
Good for you! Althea and I got married on Halloween two years ago. We avoided the whole family issue by telling them a couple of weeks after the fact.
That might not work in your case, though. Oh, well. I got nuthin’.
Seriously, congratulations, anyway.
Thanks for all the advice, everyone! You’re right kaiwik, we’re having a themed reception but a fairly conventional ceremony. Although, photage of one Halloween wedding I saw had the judge wearing a fake startched noose.
The phone calls have quieted somewhat. Maybe now they can forget about the date and worry about the secular ceremony.
Congratulations Pullet! I hope you and Mr. Pullet have a long and happy life together. Or may we just call him Rooster?
My step-cousin got married on Halloween in a “Goth” themed ceremony and reception. After having thought about all the cool things one could do for a Goth themed ceremony I was rather disappointed. The only interesting thing they did was have a “flower girl” who was really a 20-something skinny guy in drag who gently tossed rubber bats into the audience. I think I still have it somewhere.
Your family will cope, believe it or not. All settings/props aside, you’re getting married. People will be happy for you, and unless you totally bridezilla out, you can get away with *anything * on your wedding day.
I am also having a Halloween themed wedding this year but my family is very excited so I don’t know if I will be much help.
The only suggestion I can offer is to go just a little Bridezilla. Hands on hips, pout on lips
“This is my damn wedding and I will do it any damn way I please, dammit.” Don’t forget to start sobbing. Family hysteria for a minute but Pullet gets what she wants.
You could always tell them that you are ritually killing baby bunnies and bathing in their blood and then they’ll be pleasantly suprised when no baby animals are harmed in the making of you wedding.
Congratulations.
I must say, I have really never understood why people feel they have a right to tell relatives when/where/how they should get married. You could always tell them “This is my wedding. I’m doing it the way I want. You can show up or not, but it isn’t changing.” My brother uninvited a few people who raised strenuous objections to his nuptials being held on the summer solstice, saying it was pagan and downright anti-catholic (stupid reason to object, but someone will always find something to complain about.). His reasoning was to the effect that if someone was going to be that pissy about his wedding, he didn’t want them there making the day unpleasant.
We’re going to take the high road and welcome anyone who wants to come. If they refuse the invitation, then it’s on their heads.
I rather like the shower of plastic bats, Devil’s G. Maybe we can do that instead of birdseed.
Excellent advice, melodeca! I still don’t understand how my mother can complain about how her father overran her wedding and, in the same breath, lament that my wedding isn’t held in a church and therefore the marriage won’t be blessed by God. My first impulse is to tell her that I’m not all that concerned about God’s blessing, but that would just be petulant. Weird how pitching a tantrem will be more adult.
Oh, and I would never ever dream of harming precious little baby bunnies. Teenaged bunnies are much more acceptable. And delicious when raw.
My brother got married on November 20. Which means nothing outside of Spain, but in Spain it is
a) a day where you can choose between “cold and windy but at least it’s dry” or “cold, windy and we got soaked through the roof”
b) a day with a lot of political meaning. The founder of Falange (the Spanish nationalsocialistish party) was executed on November 20, and Franco was disconnected from life-support on the same date. It’s a day when there are always some skinhead idiots trying to cause trouble in every big town.
The day was cold, windy and sunny, the church’s roof didn’t fall off, there weren’t any riots anywhere, and they’ve been married for 5 years now. They’re expecting their first kid.
Btw, you may want o remind your family that, as the priests always say during Catholic weddings, “it’s not the priest who marries the couple, it’s the couple who give the sacrament to each other”. The Church did not start asking people to do the ceremony in the presence of a priest until the Council of Trent, fer Ratzinger’s sake!
If they like me well enough, they’ll take an early afternoon that Monday
I really like that line, Nava, even though I don’t remember it from any ceremony I’ve been to. Maybe the churches in Spain are cooler. I’ll save it to whip out at the most advantageous moment.
Sigh, I haven’t had that happen since grade school.
We got married in late October, but not Halloween (it was a Wednesday or something that year). If we had gotten married on Halloween, our reception would have been a masquerade ball. I always thought that would be so fun! Encourage people to dress up in their fanciest clothes, and provide beautiful handheld (or maybe strap-on) masks for them. And have someone there to teach the guests how to dance! (NOT a “costume party.” That would be fun, too, but I would have been going for something different.)
I still think that would be fun. You may steal my idea, if you like. (But only 'cause I don’t plan on actually getting to have another wedding.)
And ya know what? It is your day and as the old New York adage goes, “if they can’t take a joke, fuck’em.” You already told people the reason…you met on that day etc etc.
I do like the formal masquerade party, although Eyes Wide Shut sort of pops into my mind, but you just know people are waiting to see what your face looks like when you lift that veil! It would be fun for you to dress like Bride of Frankenstein, but that most likely would confirm your familiy’s worst fears, but for sure you would make your local newscast!
thanks dmark. The ceremony itself will be pretty conventional. Well, conventional in that it will be on the beach with a judge and without all the fuss (and expense to our friends) of a bridal party. My mom is still convinced that, without church and priest, my marriage won’t have God’s blessing. Like God’s blessing ever did her marriage any good. She also wants us to get religious pre-nuptual counseling. I’ve been living with the bf for 5 years, but apparently everything will be completely different when we’ve got rings on our left hands. I guess someone has to explain the sheet with the hole in it to me. Maybe it’s better if it ain’t her.
The reception, though will be costumed. I’ve got a kimono and the bf is constructing a suit of samurai armor. All my friends are already planning what they’ll wear. I like them, but no Eyes Wide Shut stuff. Not unless they all get really buff.
On the other hand, how likely is she to go, then loudly complain/lament/bitch/whatever about you not obeying her specific desires (phrased otherwise, of course)?
Any reason she wants to put a solid six months (that’s how long it’s been when I’ve been aware of it; I was also raised Catholic) in there? I mean, granted, one doesn’t generally plan a wedding in a week, but how dedicated is she to making sure you live your life by her rules?
Is he practicing his menacing stare (complete with samurai sword chop, if possible) for when you get ogled at the wedding?
