I really confused, so I turn to the Straight Dope for help. I’m not really looking for a conclusive answer, just advices.
The long story cut short is: I met a girl. I like her. Or I think I liked her.
I knew her about a year ago, while looking for players to fill my pen and paper RPG group. She contacted me online – I had no idea that she was a lady then – and was surprised when I met her. We talked about the game and each other, and found that we got a lot in common – we loved fantasy stories, listen to the same music, share the same horoscope and we love RPGs to death.
We are now good friends. Now the question is – shall it remain that way?
I am woefully lacking in understanding about courtship. Here in Singapore you find stuff like “going steady” and that sort of things. The conservative Asian values here are somewhat eroding – you wind couples kissing on the trains and in the public, clutching to each other and other intimate stuff (but you won’t find anything more intimate than that).
Does it mean I have to do that? I don’t really feel any sexual urge at all. I just want to know her better, see her more and be around her more and make her happy. Is it because I don’t feel any urge to be intimate means that I don’t really like her?
Anything I have been pondering over is that this is the first close lady friend I had. Oh, I had worked with girls before, and we got along well, but I don’t meet up with a “girl”-friend regularly or get close to them. This is the first time I had spent any quality time with a girl outside of work or projects.
The problem is – do I really love her in the romantic sense? Am I blowning this up because my social circles rarely include girls? What will happen if she takes it wrong? And honestly, even after I told her, what will change? What shall change? What shall it be like?
From my experiences, many people in romantic relationships stick to each other like glue. They have to meet every day. They need to call each other on their mobilephone every hour. I don’t like that. I don’t feel the need for that. Does it means I don’t really like her?
Or have I bee dazzled by the myths that Hollywood spread about relationships?