The only thing is, I don’t actually know what I want you to do. I need positive thoughts. I need friends.
I’ve met some really incredible people here. Among them, some I consider to be very good friends. You guys are some of the best people I have ever come into contact with. My whole life away from the board if filled with me saying things like, “On my posting board…” and “A woman on the board I post at said…” People start to look at you funny after a while when you do that.
This is the place I come to feel like I belong. Here, I feel like part of something good. I enjoy that. Here’s the problem, I no longer belong in my everyday life.
It used to be that my life was good and things were going well. And now they are on the surface but that’s the only place. Have you ever been caught up in a really good book and when you put it down, you still feel like you’re there instead of here? That’s close to how I feel right now. But much worse. Now, I want more than anything else to be back in that book.
Normally, I would go to my best friend with how I am feeling but this time I can’t. I’m sorry for not being able to explain why but I just can’t. There is no one I can physically go to about this. I feel very, very alone and scared.
Again, I have no idea what it is I really want from anyone here. I just need something. I know this is stupid to most of you and I’m sorry. Many of you probably come here to escape from stuff like this. However, I feel slightly better having written it and I hope you’ll forgive me this once.