Not if I don’t steal it first! YOINK! runs away
Get back here, you! I’ll grind your bones to make my bagels!
You might have tried a little subtlety with “motalund,” but I’m getting the sense that subtlety is not your style.
Since neither of your ideas is likely to fly as is, why not got for “Big Hands, Big Feet …”, with the “big balls” part of that phrase just being sort of understood?
Nope, this is why you can tell when i like a girl I got my ‘radar gun’ pointing at you. ties back to my boner threads on IMHO.
Mutterfutter? 
i was thinking of MatarChod as another nickname as well
how about NAMBLA
the M stands for MOM instead of MAN
Enough. We don’t allow trolls on this message board, either.
Lynn
For the Straight Dope