My girls troops drew Pennsylvania for the state dinner and somehow I got tasked with writing something for their skit. I settle on reworking ‘My Favorite Things’ and ‘Some Pennsylvanian Things’. I’ve got somewhat along the way but it could be better.
Can you help me do this?
I need a finished product by about 4PM today.
Here’s what I’ve got:
Louisa May Alcott writes Little Women
Astronaut Pete Conrad going up with John Glenn
Selling us pudding pops Bill Cosby sings
These are a few Pennsylvanian things
Gene and Grace Kelly with fine movie premieres
Daniel Boone wrestling bears along the frontier
Baseball’s Reggie Jackson wears all his bling
These are a few Pennsylvanian things!
Robert Fulton’s boats powered only by steam
Franklin’s kite and lightning all thought was a scream
Chubby Checker making everyone go through twistings
These are a few Pennsylvanian things!
When Gettysburg, fights for three days
When I’m feeling sad,
I simply recall Pennsylvanian things
and then I don’t feel so bad!
Eagles and Phillies and Flyers and Sixers,
Cheesesteaks and Rocky and ice cream elixirs,
A fine Declaration to send to the king,
these are some great Pennsylvanian things!
Penguins and Steelers and Pirates competing,
Steel for the bridges and chocolate for eating,
Penn State and Carnegie Mellon and Penn,
these are great things that are Pennsylvanian!
Joe Paterno’s defense holding that line
Big Ben’s a Steeler and playing so fine
Bruno Sammartino was great in the ring
These are some great Pennsylvania things
Bonus points if you can work in a reference to Joe Montana, who is from PA I think.
I really like your idea, Jonathan Chance. And jsgoddess, your contributions are delightful! I’ve got nothing to contribute, but thought you could use a pat on the back to balance out the snark.
Around here, we refer to coming into a thread to make snide remarks about topic as “threadshitting,” and it’s against the rules. Please avoid doing it.
Jack Palance did one-arm push-ups while smiling
Pittsburgh’s Primanti’s sandwiches beguiling
The world’s largest vein of Anthracite coal
is pulled out of big Pennsylvanian holes
OK, I can’t do this is rhyme, so I’ll make a list:
JusBorn Marshmallow Peeps
TastyKake
Mrs. T’s pierogies
Hershey’s Chocolate and HersheyPark
Knoebel’s Amusement Resort (K’parking-k’free! Admission-k’free)
Tax-free clothes shopping
Philadelphia!
Lebanon bologna
The Poconos
Oil wells (pretty sure PA was first with this one)
Dick Yuengling is a pretty cool guy (and own’s the oldest brewery in the US)
Amish quilts
Oh god. I was trying to block out the innumerable family visits to Titusville from my mind. My family is in oil. Titusville was like Mecca and Heaven and the Playboy Mansion all rolled into one for my dad. GAH.
