Please?
I’m looking for clever badge ideas.
I need things that are funny, but not too too racy as we’ll have to drop our son off at the mother-in-law’s house before heading out to the party.
(For reference, I’m 33 years old, long dark hair, big boobs, big hips.)
I’ve already thought of
-Plays well with others
-S’more 'Ho
-Tent Pitcher
-Cookie dealer
What else would be funny?
How about the “pencil test” badge?
YES! YES!
Thank you!
(subtle enough to slide under MIL’s radar, too)
Fire starter?
Weight lifter?
Good with hands?
Make it a leatherette Girl Scout uniform. 
Ohhh, sadly, I can’t pull that off. Believe me, no one except my husband (and surfers of “Thunderthighs” porn sites) wants to see me with that on.
Thanks for the suggestions Jayne_Newell!
I’m definitely going to use “good with hands”.
How about a badge for Badge Forgery?
How about a badge for each “base” you’ve gotten too? Or would that be a badge for the boy scouts? “Hey everybody! give me a badge. I got to third base last night!”
I like the “Trouser tenting” idea. You could also put in “Fly fishing.”
Others:
Backseat navigation
Your first, uh, well, just make a white badge with a big red dot on it.
Extortion or blackmail
Bomb construction
Sharpshooters’ badge and/or number of confirmed kills
Pocket money negotiation
Sausage sizzler (sausage sizzles are girl guide barbeques)
Hostess with the mostest (actually there used to be a hostess badge)
Knot tying (picture of a whip and blindfold)
Childcare
Bartending
Practical joking
Ah, now I remember where I got that previous idea from. It was a Simpsons episode with a brief shot of Bart sewing merit badges on. According to SNPP.com, the five badges displayed there were:
Archery
Debt Collecting
Embalming
TV Trivia
Patch Forgery
You’ll need to be selling something, too. Check out the local smut shop for humorous edibles. I doubt they’ll have any funny cookies, but they’ll probably have molds and candies to embellish your own cookies. A friend of mine made plain sugar cookies with penis gummies on them once. (Hmmm, perhaps “penis gummies” is a turn of phrase I should avoid. It sounds like something you’d need penicillin to clear up, and certainly nothing you’d want on a cookie.)
Of course, if the cookie thing doesn’t work out, you could always try hawking tins of penis-shaped mints.
Her first visit to Japan?
Errrr…ummmm…
“Brownie Muncher”
Has more than one meaning, use at your own risk.
Y’all are cracking me up!
Thanks so much for the input-I think I’m all set.
I really appreciate it and now have a fabulous list of badges and didn’t even have to strain the 200 brain cells I have left.
What are all the levels of Boy Scouts?
I remember Tenderfoot and Eagle but I forget the other steps.
Anyway some sort of badge with a list of all of those with several crossed off.
Why you crossed them off is up to you.
To go with the Bases badges… How bout the Kama Sutra badge? Or one for each sexual position?
OK I’ll go now.
Don’t Google for merit badges.
There are porn sites hidden behind some o them!