Help Me Rock Out

Cafe Society
1

On the fourth of October, I have to perform a song in front of my acting class. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem, as I’ve done a lot of singing in public, sometimes for money even…BUT, this has to be a song that I would never sing under normal circumstances. One that completely isn’t me. Something that isn’t meditative, or calm. Not one that involves lots of emoting. One in which the singer is a bad guy. Something raw, hard-edged, and maybe a little brutal. Probably rock of some description.

So I have to find a rocking, bad-guy song, and my music collection doesn’t really support that. Doesn’t at all, in fact. The Bach, the Vivaldi? No. The three gigs of musicals? No. Simon and Garfunkle, Leslie Fish, the Pet Shop Boys, the Flash Girls, Cats Laughing? No, no, no, no, no. I’m familiar with a tiny fraction of a percent of the music made in the last thirty years. I haven’t the least idea where to start. I want your advice.

I’ve been asking around, and I’ve got some titles that I like well enough, but they none of them grab me by the throat and shout “this is the one!”:
[ul][li]All Shook Out (Monster Magnet)[/li][li]Brutal Planet (Alice Cooper)[/li][li]Dead Christmas (Monster Magnet)[/li][li]How You Remind Me (Nickelback)[/li][li]Last Resort (Papa Roach)[/li][/ul]None of these is hard-core enough, though, and they’re variously repetitive, painful-sounding to sing, and so overplayed that even I recognized the melodies. I’d like to do something obscure, both to give the audience something they haven’t heard before, and to make sure that I don’t suffer too much by comparison.

Restrictions:[ul][li]It’s gotta have lyrics.[/li][li]Target length is about three minutes. Hard cap is five, though if there’s a long instrumental I can probably cut it out.[/li][li]I’m a baritone. I can handle bass, and most tenor with the help of my good friend Audacity, but I wouldn’t do such a good job with, say, Hilary Duff.[/li][/ul]Any ideas?

2

I suggest something from Danzig’s second album, Lucifuge. Amazing, bluesy, badass bar-rock, but around really amazing songwriting.

3

Somebody’s Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight

4

Disturbed is one of my favorite bands, and the songs do fit the “bad boy” image, but I think the lead singer is more tenor to baritone, so watch your selection.

“Prayer” (3:38) (off Believe) - fairly melodic, actually
“Guarded” (3:22) (off Ten Thousand Fists)
“Stricken” (4:06) (off Ten Thousand Fists) - about love, but more like feeling enslaved to your lover than anything else

If liberal use of “fuck” is OK, try “Stupify” (off The Sickness) or “Liberate” (off Believe).

5

I’m of the belief that you can’t go past the Ballad of Chasey Lain by the Bloodhound Gang.

If that’s not the direct opposite of Simon and Garfunkel, I don’t know what is. :smiley:

Not terribly harsh or punky though. Hrm…

/thinks

How about Alice Cooper’s Poison? That’s a great song.

6

Gah. Forgot to mention “Down With the Sickness” (off The Sickness) as a serious bad guy song, but I prefer the radio edit version that cuts out the passage where he stops singing and just yells. It’ll shorten up the song, too.

7

Wow, I just heard (for the first time) William Shatner & Ben Folds doing ‘Common People’.

Any chance you can line up a duet? That song absolutely rocked!

8

Oh, definitely “Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit.

Or “A is for Apathy” by Powerman 5000. (Okay, this one is kind of a jest at bad guys, but still, you can pull it off.)

9

“Free For All” by Ted Nugent. It’s quite catchy, but definitely hard-edged. Sample lyric:

Lookee here, you sweet young thing,
My magic’s in my hand.
When in doubt,
I whip it out.
I got me a rock’n’roll band.

10

If you can use a human prop, “You Can Leave Your Hat On” by either Randy Newman or Joe Cocker would be perfect.

11

This is a very good recommendation for what you are asking.

If you don’t like it you may also try…

Judas Priest - Breaking the law
WASP - Animal (if you can drop the f bomb in class)
Danzig - Mother

Just for a few…

12

Sigh, the hamsters ate my last reply. It had mentioned Alice Cooper’s “No More Mr. Nice Guy”, Iggy Pop’s “Search And Destroy”, and The Dropkick Murphy’s “The Gauntlet” and “Captain Kelly’s Kitchen”, but in a more cleverly written post. Sigh.

13

How about Tool’s “Crawl Away?”

Too much?

14

Is it the lyrics that need to be rough, or the music? For a good laugh you could do a Rap song to more toned down music.

Dynamite Hack - “Boyz in da hood”, done slowly with an accoustical guitar. Originally by Eazy-E

“Cruisin’ down the street in my 6-fo’
Jockin’ the bitches, slappin’ the ho’s
I went to the park to get the scoop
Knuckle-heads out there cold shootin’ some hoop”

or Barenaked Ladies, “Gin and Juice”, done Country-twang style, originally by Snoop Dogg

“Rollin down the street, smokin endo, sippin on gin and juice
(with my mind on my money and my money on my mind)”

You can sample them at iTunes - really funny. You can front and grab your sack and have fun with it.

Otherwise, I’d suggest:

Marilyn Manson’s “I Put A Spell On You” cover.

-Tcat

15

I have to correct this, because I see it as a common mistake. I love that cover of “Gin and Juice,” but it was recorded by a bluegrass band called the Gourds, NOT Phish, NOT Ween, NOT the Barenaked Freakin’ Ladies. That song is almost always mislabeled on file-sharing services, and I hate the fact that a good, fun, solid band did it, and they never get credit for it.

Back to the OP, the perfect “bad guy” song is “Behind Blue Eyes” by the Who, a ballad actually performed from the point of view of a real bad guy, a true villain. Limp Bizkit recorded a truly horrible cover of it recently, but you can definitely play off the lyrics and darken it up yourself.

16

Seconding: “Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit.

Bear in mind when you’re selecting stuff that hard rock now involves a lot of screaming and gutteral stuff. There’s a technique to it, but it’s hard to get it out of people.

Check out Days of the New. Aggressive but melodic with very punchy singing.
Their first record (The Orange Album) is your best bet: “Touch, Peel and Stand,” “Solitudue,” and “Whimsical” are my personal favorites.

If you dig Nickelback I suggest Theory of a Deadman (Chad Kroeger has writing credits on half the songs on their first record): I like their self-titled album with songs like “Invisible Man” and “Nothing Could Come Between Us.” Very aggressive but enjoyable.
From their latest record, Gasoline, I’d recommend: “No Surprise,” “Quiver,” and “Since You’ve Been Gone.”

Good luck finding a song, and break a leg.

17

Or how about some punk rock, since modern hard rock is so growly and bad? The Descendents had any number of teen angst anthems like “Hope,” “Bikeage,” or “Parents,” and Rancid and Operation Ivy have a lot more melodic punk barn-burners. Maybe my favorite punk song of all time is Fifteen’s “Petroleum Distillation,” which is melodic and pretty as hell, but also angry, and insightful, and relevant.

18

“One Night in Bangcok” fromChess.

19

sounds like the perfect time for too drunk to fuck by the dead kennedys…

20

When was this song ever played on the radio? I know I’ve never heard it. And how is this not hard enough? It’s like a kick in the teeth.

I’d say go with something out of NWOBHM, but I don’t think that’s what your looking for. Iron Maiden would be too high for the most part.

So lets see, you want something that no one has heard before, that cuts Anthrax’s Only.

How about some Motorhead? That’s generally hard and fast, you could try No Voices in the Sky, then there’s always my personal fav Stay Clean. Though they may be a bit to repetitive for your liking.

As for obscure, there was an old Australian band called The Poor that might be up your alley if you can find the music.

I was going to suggest Thin Lizzy’s Emerald, but there seems to be a long break at the end, but that might fit what you want.

The only other band I can suggest is a German band called Rage, though a lot of their songs tend to be on the long side they do have some that are shorter then 5 minutes.