There’s this one day when all the graduated seniors come back, wander the halls and say hi to their teachers. They get all misty-eyed and reminisce about how wonderful their high school experience was.
I hated this school. I hated every goat-felching, camel-fellating minute of it. And I’m fixing to blow everyone’s minds when I go back.
So far, here are my ideas. None of them are really spectacular:
Shave my head.
Rent a devil costume and go back to school wearing it. (ultra-conservative Catholic school)
Borrow this shirt a girl on my floor has (bright red, has the definition of the word “gay” written on it in big block letters).
Which is why I’m turning it to you people. Keep in mind that I don’t want to do anything illegal and am on a limited budget here. Just good subversive pranks and a way to say “You’ll never get my soul, fuckwidgets” to the administration.
I take it, Daowajan, that you’re a chick…so, well, bring another chick with you. A friend who wouldn’t mind, say, pretending to be outrageously lesbian for a day. That or a small posse of giant men dressed in black, complete with concealed weapons, cell phones and stoic expressions.
That might freak 'em out a little bit.
You could go naked. Or dress like a bum. Shaving heads is a tad much, and personally I like having hair a little too much to go that route, but that is up to you, of course.
Do what I did-go to your high school reunion, dress normally, act normally, tell them you’re heavily into voodoo and black magic. Read up a little on voodoo first, tho, so you sound like you know what you’re talking about (Baron Samdi and Papa Legba, etc). If you can, maybe find a little loa pin or something you could wear discreetly.
Talk about Haitian zombies as if they are real, and say you wish you could get ahold of some zombie cucumber. Be polite and friendly. Don’t go on and on about it unless someone asks you to explain.
Don’t dress up like you’re wearing a costume, tho-it makes it easier to dismiss you. Dress and act like your peers and it will be all the more disturbing to them that one of their own could be so twisted. And remember-they’re there to amuse you, not vice-versa. Don’t put on a show-make them become the show.
Ha Ha
Ok, if it were me I’d tell everyone that your an assasin for an antiterrorist unit secretly run by the government.
Then have a couple friends burst in with one of those cap guns that sound similar to a real gun shot.
And fake a shoot out, where you ultimately are killed, and have the “terrorist” carry away your body (so there’s no evidence. I would suggest this happen in the parking lot or somewhere outside, because it would simply be easier to pull it off. Then when you show up for your next reunion, they’d all be pretty surprised.
I just attended a football game at my old high school Friday night. My town is a rural one in the Deep South, and very infected with Varsity Blues Syndrome, and EXTREMELY scornful of anyone who isn’t the All-American prep.
I went to the football game in a red and black corset, a black lace skirt, a black overshirt, and black lace-up combat boots.
Someone said to me, “Wow, you look like you came out of a vampire movie.”
I replied, “Wow, you look like the product of a brother and sister having sexual intercourse. But, hell, it’s Alabama, right?”
I got so MANY STARES that night…except for the people who know me pretty well. They thought it was cool.
That’s a fairly neat idea for a catholic school. You could explain to everyone how it was their emphasis on catholic saints that led to your discovery of voodoo. They match up with the various spirits or loa. A quick google search on the keywords:
voodoo catholic saints
got back lots of hits, including a reasonable seeming overview here: http://www.webster.edu/~corbetre/haiti/voodoo/voodoo.htm
You never refuse when she lies back
To put the stripe on the Union, the star on the Jack…
If it was a Catholic school, by all means wear a black shirt with a Roman collar.
Refuse to say what parish you’re assigned to.
Tell everyone you’re a special envoy to the Vatican.
Oh, and Nicklz, This:
“Ha Ha
Ok, if it were me I’d tell everyone that your an assasin for an antiterrorist unit secretly run by the government.
Then have a couple friends burst in with one of those cap guns that sound similar to a real gun shot.
And fake a shoot out, where you ultimately are killed, and have the “terrorist” carry away your body (so there’s no evidence. I would suggest this happen in the parking lot or somewhere outside, because it would simply be easier to pull it off. Then when you show up for your next reunion, they’d all be pretty surprised.”
Would be a very , very bad idea.
Oh, man. Okay, first things first: God be with you, because I sure as Hell wouldn’t do this.
Be sexually open. It’s not like you’re going to see these people again, right? Flirt with the girls, flirt with the teachers.
Dreds.
Put beads in the dreds. Maybe make them multi-colored.
Some sort of very un-Christian being (Chthulu, maybe?) should play a prominent part in your life now.
So should the pro-choice and pro-gay movements (these are not movements I particularly associate with conservative Christians in general; I realize there are many exceptions).
Talk very openly about death and rebirth.
Give out pamphlets of whatever un-Christian being you now support. May there be a Jack Chick for Chthulu:)
Read up a little on voodoo first, tho, so you sound like you know what you’re talking about (Baron Samdi and Papa Legba, etc). If you can, maybe find a little loa pin or something you could wear discreetly.