In my girlfriend’s house, there’s the rule that if anyone says the word tea, or even just the letter t, they have to make a brew for anyone who wants it.
This isn’t really a rule, more of a competition between me and her brother.
I’ve caught him out with “What’s your favourite music channel?”…“Oh, probably MTV2”. He usualy preys on my smart-arse side, by asking me how to spell things.
So can you guys think of any fool-proof methods to get him to make me tea?
Wierd request, I know, but I thought you guys would be best to help!
Start a conversation about golf, and use a different stupid sounding name for the tee, you know what you pout the ball on for a drive? He may correct you with the right word just to feel superior.
People love to jump in to be smartarses which can help.
“They had this clip on the sports show today. This golfer was putting his ball on the wooden thingy…,”
“You mean tee.”
or
“We were talking about continuity errors in films and in Terminator 2 there is a hole that disappears and reappears in the helicopter cockpit when the bad terminator…ummm,”
Start doing a crossword and ask him how to spell a word or two. You can even use this over and over again as long as you don’t overdo it on the “t” words.
If you start to tell an old, old joke, people’ll often automatically supply the punchline so they don’t have to sit through it again.
You could try "There was a man that wanted to make sure that any girl he married was a virgin, so he devised a test: Whenever he was interested in a girl, he’d take her out for a buggy-ride. At some point during the ride, he’d unbutton his britches, and ask ‘What would you call that?’ … "
Of course, if by some bizarre chance they hadn’t heard it, you’d have to substitute “tee-hee” with some other silly euphemism.
So just saying the syllable “tee” doesn’t count, it has to be a standalone word or letter, right? (Like, getting him to say “not guilty” wouldn’t work?)
If he’s a sing-along-with-the-radio kind of guy, and knows the following songs, make a playlist and mix them in:
Fun Fun Fun by the Beach Boys ("…'till her daddy takes the T-Bird away") R-E-S-P-E-C-T by Aretha Franklin ('nuff said) Safety Dance by Men Without Hats (where they spell out S-A-F-E-T-Y)
The R-E-S-P-E-C-T one will hopefully work, he knows I’m in a band that does a cover of that…can work a plan around that.
Seems like the logical thing to do. But never confuse the drink tango with tea, one doesn’t go quite so well with biscuits.
Genius. I’ve been trying to think of a way to get him to mention Mr T without being too obvious like “…er…who was the big black guy with lots of gold on the A Team?”. Prefer your approach!
Thank you, guys, I think the kettle should be boiled soon!
If you really want to sneak up on him, start a conversation about Quentin Tarantino. Talk about Kill Bill or something. Then seque into a conversation about Pulp Fiction. Then, when his guard is down:
“And it’s impressive how Tarantino cast former TV stars like John Travolta and Ving Rhames in his movie.”
“Former TV stars? What are you talking about?”
“You know. John Travolta was in Welcome Back Kotter and Ving Rhames was in The A-Team.”
“Silly rabbit. Ving Rhames wasn’t in The A-Team. That was Mr T.”
“Victory is mine!”
the old “sion” or “tion” trick is always a good one.
make like you are writing something and ask a harmless spelling question. 5 minutes later follow that up with something like “redemption is spelt with an ‘s’ isn’t it?”
Try asking him about professional wrestling (Booker T), or reality television (R U the Girl featuring TLC), or Steven Spielberg movies (E.T.), or rappers-turned actors (Ice-T), or investment strategies (T-bills) or bad Richard Gere movies (Doctor T and the Women, although there are so many bad Gere movies this one may be unfeasible).
