Help request: Special Announcement

We are heading to Medevil Times tonight and our package includes having a special announcement read out during the show. There are 5 of us and each gets our own announcement. We do have a celebration to announce. That leaves four.

Help me come up with a family safe but goofy announcement that will give the crowd a laugh without being too obnoxious.

Something like “We would like to remind everyone if you must drink don’t let your horse drink too”


“Farcical aquatic ceremonies do on occasion confer supreme executive power.”


“Actually I am Not Batman.”

I know you all here can do better

I think you nailed it with the first one! :slight_smile:

The second one is going to fly over the heads of most of the ME audience.

The third one is too WTF?

FWIW, I really do like the first one, it’s perfect!

I’ll have to think for a bit to contribute my own.

We would like to announce the engagement of Mike Hunt and Sofonda Cox.

“Is the owner of a white horse, liscense #PONY123 in the audience here? You’ve seemed to have left your lantern on”
“Will the owner of a white horse, liscense #GIDYAP123 please move your vehicle-you’ve parked in the spot reserved for village idiots.”

“There are some who call me… Tim.”

If food is served:
“I’m afraid that a Miss Lucrezia Borgia seems to have lost her ring in the (soup, salad, whatever is served), so if you could please…”
At which point a companion goes “AUGGHH!!” and keels over.
“Never mind-found it.”

“She turned me into a newt!”

The management would like to remind tonight’s participants that there is no crying in jousting.

Thanks for the ideas. We’re parking right now. Love Czar’s lantern left on!

Well, how did it go?

They screwed up every single one. The best reaction from the crowd, though, was “lanterns left on” which also garnered a comment from the announcer, “That’s like something I would’ve written”

What other ones did you use?

One of our group had popped the question days prior, so we started with the engagement announcement. Then for the remaining four we went with horse/drink, aquatic ceremonies, and white horse/lanterns. A younger member of our party contributed “Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S”

Before the show, we dictated these to the “Scrollmaster” who tried her best to write them down. During the meal part of the show, the Lord Chancellor and the Princess alternated reading the various announcements. They read the engagement announcement amongst a number of other’s of that sort (birthdays, etc), saving the joke ones for last. Ours were the only jokes ones.

As I mentioned, each was flubbed in some way

Engagement: mispronounced her name.

Horse/drink: stammered a bit and strangely added a phrase we didn’t dictate (got a chuckle though)

Aquatic ceremonies: hopelessly mangled, “confer supreme executive power” became “come for some execution powers”

Horse/lanterns: Almost perfect - they accidentally combined this with the bananas announcement, but only saying the word “bananas”, not spelling it out afterwards. At least the lanterns joke got out there (garnering the comment). A guy in the crowed several rows behind us shouted back “Ha! Bananas!” so there’s that.