For the love of all that is sacred and holy. Do it! You only live once.
OK I can just stop reading here, can’t I? garius, come into my study and we can have a heart-to-heart - ya numpty!
Just kidding. Let’s not be shallow, and examine the situation a little more in detail. What’s this I see?
Perhaps the human race is doomed to extinction.
What are you waiting for? :mad:
I’m with Giraffe on the over-self-analysis (self-over-analysis? Whatever.) thing. Maybe you’re just trying to protect yourself, as this isn’t a usual thing with you?
She quite obviously wants to give it a go - you’re both adults, give her credit for knowing what she’s trying to get into. She doesn’t need you to ‘save her from herself’. And this doesn’t, as other posters have said, have to lead to the Wedding of the Century anyway.
So, stop thinking so much and give it a go! If it works, fabu! If it doesn’t, hopefully there won’t be animosity between you. Good luck, young sir.
I really have no idea what going on a date is going to hurt.
You’re making an awful lot of assumptions about what might or might not happen in the future.
She’s an amazing person and you enjoy her company so go out with her. Let things happen as they may. Quit trying to predict the future and let things run their course. You may both grow a little from the experience.
What on earth are you waiting for?
gar - ya know, there is the possibility of going out with someone, including going in-and-out with them, and remaining friends afterwards if no lifetime committment develops.
OTOH, there’s no guarantee she’ll be your lifelong friend in any case.
Speaking from the vantage point of my 40+ years, I suspect it will be far more likely 20 years from now, you will regret not having gone for it, rather than the alternative of regretting having given it a shot and it didn’t work out. Believe it or not, with each passing decade fewer and fewer beautiful fantastic 22 year old women have been throwing themselves at me! I can’t explain it.
Its not like you would be taking advantage of some naive child. And you don’t have to just jump her bones, shit on her sheets, and leave. Why are you denying yourself (and her)?
You can always look forward to the possibility that you’ll suck in bed, and she’ll be the one dumping your sorry ass! 
Oh yeah - I don’t believe anyone yet has mentioned the need for pictures so that we might properly assess the situation …
I love that expression. 
I’ll have to try it as a pick-up line - “So… Would you be interested in going in-and-out with me sometime?”
Heh. 
Has anyone accused garius of just starting this thread to brag about his incredibly good fortune? If not, then let me be the first.
garius - my feeling is that if you’re terrible at talking with women, the best antidote is a romantic involvement or two. My experience is that nothing builds confidence like success. (And knowing that a woman would have gone out with you doesn’t count, unless it actually happens.)
So go for it. Either it’ll work, or she’ll figure out why it won’t work, chances are. Like almost everyone else has said, stop overanalyzing. Jump in, have some fun, it won’t be the end of the world if it doesn’t work out.
Unless one of you magically turns into a real shitheel once you’re involved, it really isn’t that hard to remain friends after the relationship’s demise. (Most of my exes remained friends with me for years afterward.) Don’t buy the “it might ruin a great friendship” BS. What usually causes that isn’t romance but jerkosity. I don’t think that’s your problem.
Uh RTF - sure you didn’t mean jerkociousness?
cuauhtemoc - no bragging intended, i just felt i was out of my depth and thought i’d take advantage of being a doper to gain some advice from those with more experience in these kind of things than me.
slortar I think you are probably right - i have enjoyed the attention and the hunting thing.
I do like her a lot,
The only thing that was stopping me was the nagging feeling that it just wasn’t right. And i tried doing what CRorex suggested on the train home - pin it down. I’m starting to think that maybe thats just to do with what Giraffe and Cosmipolitan have being saying. I just have difficulty accepting that someone like her could be interested in someone like me.
I just spoke to my elder sister on the phone, and she added her two pence worth - pointing out that if i was looking for evidence of her stubbornness then i only had to look at how she hadn’t given up. And if i wanted evidence of her non-sheepiness then i only had to look at the fact that she seemed to be keen on dating a complete freak! (cheers sis! )
Ah fuck it - she is an amazing girl, i do really enjoy being with her and i’d be an idiot not to go for this wouldn’t i…
Thanks guys (and gals) you have been of great help.
Can i trouble you all for one last piece of advice though?
Do I ask her?
Or wait until she does the flirtingy thing again and just reciprocate this time?
Ask her. By this point, the ball is really, really in your court. It will make you look better (a guy who has the sack to actually ask someone out is more attractive than one who does not), and it will make it seem more like a conscious decision on your part and not just some drunken impulse.
Ask her out. Right now!
Oh, I forgot to add: good luck!
i think she’d be pissed if i rang her at 11:45 at night - no matter how interested she was! but you are right - i need to do this soon or i’ll chicken out.
ah well - tomorrow it is then…
Just don’t tell me she’s wearing pyjama pants, for God’s sake!
Ask Her!
“She is an amazing person - i really enjoy her company and i always have a great time with her. She’s a lot deeper than most people give her credit for - they just assume shes a full on cheerleader-type and don’t actually bother talking to her and finding the mind and personailty underneath. Blokes just seem to see her as a piece of meet and thats just wrong.”
Dude, get a move on. This will pass, and if it does before you’ve given her the opportunity she clearly wants, you’ll be sorry later.
You seem to want to believe that you aren’t cool enough for her. Isn’t that her decision? Doesn’t she act like she thinks you are cool enough?
Call her tonight and ask her out on a date. Make it plain that this is a date, not just “hanging out with friends” or some limp exercize like that. And no, she won’t be pissed that it’s 11:30 PM. Later, she’ll think it’s “cute”.
[cheerleader]Go! Go! Go![/cheerleader]. And good luck!
Pal, I’ve been in the female version of your situation twice. Once, with a guy who, while I found him attractive, I didn’t want to date him. So, while he’s still one of my closest friends, he moved on, found someone else, and moved to Seattle. (I’m in Vermont.) And I’ve always wondered what might have happened if he and I HAD dated. Which, while I’m glad I still have him as a friend, is a really annoying thing to have to wonder about.
Second case: guy I found enormously attractive, who was moving soon. But I got involved, on the theory that the what-if factor is too annoying to deal with. But I was really honest with him, and told him that I was scared of getting involved, because I was scared of getting hurt. And he told me that if I allowed myself to live in fear, I’d have a very safe and very boring life. So I got involved with him, and fell in love, and got hurt. But I don’t regret a second of it. He was right: I may have gotten hurt, but at least I gave it a go.
I also notice that you seem to keep defending how great she is. So you obviously don’t DISlike her. Given my experiances, and what you’ve written, I say that you’re just afraid. Do what scares you, my friend. As long as you’re honest and tell her what’s going on in your head, no one can say you’re doing anything wrong. Don’t take the safe, easy path. And let us know how it goes.
Wow, now I totally expect an update here PRONTO. I’m too interested in how this plays out to abandon now.
Oh, and if it doesn’t work out between you two, Chicago really is a beautiful city … I’d be more than happy to show her around
Either:
You enjoy being the hunted and don’t want to move on for fear that she’ll lose interest;
she’s the kind of girl who can’t stand not getting her way, so she’ll be after you until you cave, in which case you’ll date for a few weeks and she’ll dump you;
she really does like you (yes, you) and there is potential here. She doesn’t have to be your “type.” Differences can be exciting.
Either way, if the chemistry is there, give it a shot, but take it slow if you’re afraid of getting hurt, or hurting her. You’re both adults - even if it doesn’t work out in the long run everything will be fine.
At least get a picture of her nekkid so that you can show your buddies what a hot piece of ass you date.
Just kidding - treat her like a lady, and she’ll treat you like a man.
Is she slim with golden-blonde hair and the most magnificent green eyes you could ever imagine?
- Bubba.
Oh yeah, and a wonderful tan.