You’ve had A LOT of shit thrown at you lately, LouisB - this armchair psychologist says take it easy on yourself. You chose a bad coping method, you’ve realized that, you’re taking steps to find better coping mechanisms - that’s all good. Well, the bad coping method wasn’t good, but the rest is. 
And breathing is good - in fact, mindful breathing is very calming and relaxing.
I’ve been a member of this board for a long time LouisB, and I can’t remember a single post that reflects negatively on you. True, you are having a hard time, but you are rationally seeking out the best remedy. If everybody acted as you do, the world would be a better place at least a thousand-fold. Keep it up, and never forget that we are rooting for you
I appreciate your input and suggestion. However, I’ll ask you to take into account that I’ve had migraines for very nearly sixty years and have never successfully used anything but opiates and I didn’t use them until I was in my twenties. Remember that I was raised in good old Texas by a family of wolves—the only treatment for headache was to take an aspirin tablet and then lie still with a cold washcloth placed across the area that hurt and that’s the truth. It wasn’t until I moved to California and was taken to an emergency room while in the throes of a migraine by a woman I had met that I was even aware that medicine other than aspirin was available. I’ve worshiped Demerol ever since. I was also given a prescription for Fiorinal #3 and that has never failed to work whereas most of the more modern medicines have failed----I won’t argue that I didn’t want them to fail. I promise you, however, that I will discuss the Topomax as well as other medications with my doctor; my next appointment is this coming Friday. None of this is meant to be sarcastic or snarky----I do appreciate your concern.
I just returned from my PHP meeting. I was allowed to change doctors and my new doctor has given me a prescription for the Trazadone I used to take. It might take a few days to kick in but maybe my sleeping habits will meet with my sister’s approval.
Here’s hoping that a change in doctors will translate into a positive change for you. I hope you will keep us posted.
While it may not be good advice for everyone, and it’s certainly not the most politically correct advice, I think it certainly has its place in a discussion about overcoming addiction.
A seriously addicted person who is trying to abstain may very well be comforted to know that a small stash (emphasis on small) is there waiting for them should they be completely overtaken by withdrawal. Taking the desperation of cold turkey out of the equation can really take the edge off for some people and make the daunting task just a little less scary. I might just know this from experience.
Why are you so sure that is a jerk thing to say?
Let me add my voice to the chorus of support Louis B. It seems like you’re taking great steps so I have no doubt this will all be in your past before too long.
It may not be a deliberate troll, but it’s a really bad idea.
If you are talking about a situation that involves sick as a dog hard-core withdrawal, then do it with medical help.
Otherwise…if you have that small stash, you will be fighting your impulses all the time…if the temptation isn’t there it will be easier to resist.
If you keep the small “just in case” stash, you will hit it really soon, and chances are one of the things you will do once you are under the influence is get yourself a large stash.
It’s an attitude thing, you’ve quit, you’re drug-free and drug free people don’t keep stashes of drugs. Maybe you will slip but it’s best not to make it too easy.
In reference to a “small stash” of my favorite pain pills, I decided that so long as I had the pills on hand I would be tempted to take them. In fact, I knew damn well I would take them, just because I like the way they make me feel. I decided either I was serious about quitting or I wasn’t. Anyway, I took my stash of pills and flushed the damn things down the toilet. So the stash is gone.
I have to confess that I am concerned as to what I will do when the next migraine happens. I’ll probably end up in an emergency room.
I feel for you - I have moderately rare migraines myself, just had one this Sunday and still feel a little wiped out. I can’t imagine what it would be like if they were frequent and ongoing like yours. Positive thoughts to you from down here in Texas.
The Xanax kinda worries me. I’ve probably met far more casual benzo addicts than just about any other drug (barring alcohol and cigarettes). I myself took Klonopin daily, for about five years – despite it having no great benefit to me. My latest doctor realized this and got me to taper off (2mg initially, we halved it, halved it again – over about 2.5 months). I got off, and I’m glad for it; YMMV.
RE: opiates, I personally vouch for Suboxone. Since I started taking it, I’ve not once taken an illegal/nonprescribed opiate, and I’ve been pleased with the lack of craving. This can present its own problems, but its something to think about. If you’re afraid of the initial withdrawal and cravings (and who wouldn’t be?), Suboxone or Subutex can be a true Godsend, if administered properly.
P.P.S.: I’m being brief because I don’t know your exact situation; if you want to talk, email or AIM or GTalk me. I’m adding it to my profile.
Xanax is now out of the picture. In fact, I’m not taking any tranquilizers at all. I have been given a prescription for Tramadol 50MG; I find them moderately effective for pain and since the prescription calls for one tablet ever four hours, I don’t think a full blown migraine will be intimidated by them. They do make my fractured femur or at least the area around it hurt a little bit less.
I feel a lot better----my sister told me a few nights ago that if she had known what an improvement I would show, she would have Baker Acted me several months back.
An excellent start, congratulations! Keep moving forward.
Just be aware that tramadol does act like an opiate (a la morphine, oxycodone, etc) and may be a problematic long-term medication for chronic pain, so work with your doc on this.
Moderator note: Remember, even medical marijuana remains illegal at the federal level, even though that might not be the case under the laws of your state. I’m just cautioning everybody to be careful how they discuss it–you can talk about medical MJ worked out for you, or someone you know, but don’t talk about how to get it “legally” in your state, etc.
For the Straight Dope,
Spectre of Pithecanthropus
Hang in there LouisB. You have my sympathy and my respect.
My MD at the facility told me they were “moderately” addictive. If I show signs of addiction to them, he will not authorize any refills.
Great news. 
Having had big addiction issues with both in the past, in my experience Xanax was the harder to kick. Get off of it as soon as possible.
And so the Scientologist contingent weighs in…
Migraine pain is quite physiologic, as the clear majority of neurologists and most of the many migraine sufferers will quickly point out. So psychotherapy is not really first-line treatment for an acute migraine. It may be helpful for trreatment of syndromes involving chronic daily headaches.
I can’t parse the rest of the post so won’t attempt to rebut it.
Note: For those wondering where the post QtM quoted went, I have banned that person as a spammer.
twickster, moderator
The fact that this thread was opened give me an opportunity to report that I was discharged from the program last Friday. The therapists and the doctor feel that I am ready to face reality on my own. I learned a lot in that program but perhaps the most important thing I learned was that I am not unique: many of the other patients have had experiences almost identical to mine. From listening to their stories and seeing their ravaged faces I realize that I am very lucky not to have fallen as hard as many of those people did. Compared to them, I have no problem at all and I do not intend to risk falling as far as those poor souls have. I’m not being condescending when I say that.