The mess is really a symptom of much deeper psychological issues. The DSM 5 has ‘Hoarding Disorder’ now listed as its own distinct diagnosis. The thing to understand is that you’re not simply dealing with really bad housekeeping here and removing all the junk will not address the problem.
If you wish to help I recommend contacting mental health professionals and approach from that direction.
[my crusade]
Not lead (that’s a metal), dangit, LED!
[the crusade thanks you]
What’s the reason given why the government agencies will not help?
I’m sure this is traumatic for you, but first it would be probably beneficial for you to learn more about hoarders. It’s a psychological problem, and like most similar problems, is not quickly or easily solved. Perhaps see if there are any hoarding resources in your area that you can contact to learn more and discuss what they would recommend in this situation.
Trying to get your brother to not be a hoarder will be a very long and difficult task with a low chance of success, especially if you are trying to force the change upon him. You could clean and fix everything, and within a month it would be back to the way it was.
Realistically, the only solution is for your mom is to not live with the brother. It sounds like she doesn’t want to leave, but based on her living conditions you may be able to get her declared unfit and then be able to force the issue. What type of living situation could you provide her if she moved out?
Unfortunately, you probably have to realize the brother will not change and time spent on that effort will likely be wasted. If you want your mom to live in better conditions, you’re going to have to remove her from that house and the brother.
You have done everything you can. She will not move to your home. NOTHING more you can do, so drop it and get on with your life.
(I’ve tried helping people before as well. Nothing more can be done than offering to help, suggesting counseling, suggesting they go to doctor, budget their money, or whatever would resolve their situation.)
How do you know this information, as you never mentioned that you had visited Maryland? It sounds as if your brother may be the caregiver for your mother, and he must be doing something right, if your mother is doing well for her age. I realize that you live in CO, but perhaps you could at least fly back to Maryland for a week-end and try to get a handle (complete picture) of the situation. I understand how you feel, but afterall if your brother is taking care of your mother, he most likely does your mom’s grocery shopping, doctors’ appointments, etc. Walk a mile in a caregiver’s shoes; it’s not an easy task.
I have a difficult time believing Social Services simply told you to pound sand. What exactly did they say, and what reason did they give for not helping?