I need to do laundry.
I need to go shopping.
It rained the entire time I was on vacation so my yard is 10 feet high. I need to mow or crack the whip on a kid or two.
I need to vacuum my bedroom.
HELP ME TO LOG OFF!!!
Chanting in my best deep throated voice… You can do it… You can do it…I know you won’t…But you can do it 
Hey Diane!
Go wash your laundry, ya rumpled old hag! And hit the grocery store ferpetessake…your kids would like something other than canned beets and ramen for supper tonight. Jeez, don’t even get me started on that garden of yours. Pull out the lawnmower, eh?
Oh, and your bedroom is a rathole. Run the frickin’ vacuum already.
(Does berating you work?)
No.
Do you know that at this very moment there are approximately 60 people logged into the SDMB and Ghod know how many lurkers? Each and every one of them reading, learning, and sharing their travails and their wit . All for the sole benefit of you. How can you walk away from that?
Bwahahahahah.
Thanks guys (I think)
Off I go!
.
.
.
.
.
Maybe.
Uh huh
Diane… I understand!! Will I ever get these rugs shampooed? Ok… Everyone, lets all turn off the computer at once… Ready???
Damn… just had to peek…
Hell no, I never encourage people to do their cleaning/washing/mowing/dull stuff. Just kick back, relax, surf the net, post to the SDMB, chat with people, grab something to drink. It’s Saturday and you shouldn’t be doing anything boring. That’s what kids are for. Think I can borrow them once you’re done?
Sign off of this computer RIGHT NOW or I swear to God I’ll never post another entertaining thread or send you naked pictures of myself EVER AGAIN !
Eutychus55… What!! Naked pictures!!! Clicking off right now!!! But I’ll be back in 5 minutes…
Eutychus55… What… Naked pictures!!! Clicking off right now!!!
Well hell pushes Diane out of the way send the damn pics to me… quick!!
No, I won’t help you log off. I need you to sit right there, and listen to my life story.
This will be done in one sentence installments, so that I can beat Satan’s post count.
I’m not sure when each installment will be made, but I’ll try for once a day at least. Just sit right there, and keep hitting"Refresh", OK?
Ready?
Call me Ishmael.
(More to follow).
Once you ever log on during the weekend you are a goner. Get all your work done before you log on. So just sit there now and post away. We need you.
I went shopping, did the laundry, and even vacuumed my bedroom, my daughter did most of the mowing and “promised” to finish when it started to rain (yeah, we’ll see.)
Glad to see I am not alone in my addiction.
So, can I have those pics now Euty?
(Hijacking my own thread)
Have any of you tried to find a baseball mitt at the beginning of little league? (Notice my procrastinating comment in the Singles thread.) Sheesh! Nothing but tiny lefties.
Guess pee-wee son will have to use his old one a little while longer.