Wench. That should be, “Triumph of the Wench”.
Or am I misinterpreting something again?
:: pauses to change battery in fembot ::
You’re both wrong. It’s wrench. “Triumph of the Wrench”.
A bit heavy with the linguistic hand there, Your Highness. -snerk-
I go for “Triumph Of The Clench”
Let my Dopers go !!!
Mr. Smith
I am very impressed with what you and your evil organization have accomplished in such a very short time. I forsee Smithco moving from one evil triumph to another world without end, amen and applaud you all for this. There is one startling lack in your organization that I’d like to address. Torture, skullduggery, murder, rape and pillage are all great ways to dominion. But for true evil, what you need is religion. Inculcate in everyone a belief system that makes worship of Mr. Smith its guiding principle and the mission statement of Smithco a holy bible and people will rush to do your bidding and tithe to build temples to you. When your words are part of their belief system from the cradle to grave, then people will rush to give you what you have to scheme so hard to get now. Sure, scheming is fun but it can be hard work. Why work to steal when people will be anxious to give you their goods and young virgins (of either sex) to avoid damnation. Make me your pope and within a generation you’ll own everything and everyone both materially and spiritually.
I have worked in this field for a long time as a consultant to L. Ron Hubbard and his nascent Church of Scientology. I’m the one who developed the concept of getting “clear” which contributed so much to that “faiths’s” rapid growth. I was the one who proposed the 700 club and gave fundamentalism its foothold on TV and a platform to spread its doctrines across North America. No one worshipped with snakes in Mississippi until I gave them the idea. It was I who suggested to Dubya that he eliminate that silly doctrine of separation of church and state in the US constitution. The ATF fiasco in Waco with the Branch Davidians was my brainchild (they chose the stupid name for their cult over my suggestions of something more dignified but you can’t win them all). Al-Qaeda has consulted with me. The West Bank settlers have me on their speed dial. No one working in the field today knows more about perverting religion to do evil.
I would require no salary, just a certain small percentage of the universally mandatory tithing and the freedom to hire and train my own nuns. They would, of course, all be “brides” of Mr. Smith. We could consult on doctrine and sacraments and design really nifty uniforms for our suckers…I mean congregation. There is no end to the evil we can do if we cloak it in terms of a religion.
I’m looking forward to working with and for you. I’ve never been this excited about a consultancy. I’m hoping to hear from you soon and can’t wait to get started.
marque elf
Indeed. The main trouble I have with this angle is that my philosophy has always been brainwashing optional. Whereas, typically cults (and mainstream religions for that matter), promote a mandatory brainwashing regimen that I think distracts from the now.