Here Cums The Judge...

[Batsinma_Belfry]

Judge accused of using sex toy during court.

Prosecutors allege he masturbated with a penis pump under his robe while presiding over two murder trials and a civil trial in 2003. Thompson denies the allegations and said the penis pump seized in the case was a gag gift from a friend.

[CandidGamera]

“Honestly, it’s not mine! That sort of thing’s not my bag, baby.”

[CynicalGabe]

Brewster said there was no evidence to link the pump to his client, but High countered that the testimony would help show “this defendant committed the same crime over and over and over again.”

He was masturbating like a motherfuck!! :eek:

[Otto]

Now that’s what I call judicial activism!

We’ve had threads on this guy before. Here’s my favorite chunk from today’s update:

Brewster argued that the state should be prevented from submitting the device as evidence, contending that not only did it not function but that it also was sawed in half while in the state’s custody.

Prosecutor Pattye High said an Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation chemist followed procedure in sawing the pump in two to swab it for DNA evidence. McCall denied the defense request.

[CynicalGabe]

And to think he sustained the motion through 3 trials!

[Ponder_Stibbons]

I saw the headline “Jurors Will See Judge’s Alleged Sex Toy” and thought to myself, “What? Again?”

Then I thought, “Oooh. On purpose this time.”

And as Otto states, we’ve been having fun at this idiot’s expense for quite some time now …

[Maeglin]

“Objection, your honor.”

“What grounds?”

“You’re badgering your witness.”

[Spatial_Rift_47]

@CandidGamera

“Honestly, it’s not mine! That sort of thing’s not my bag, baby.”

Prosecutors also allege that they discovered credit card receipt for the penis pump with the former judge’s name on it, and a book titled “Swedish Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me: This Sort Of Thing Is My Bag, Baby,” written by the former judge.

[Jpeg_Jones]

…braces self for yet another round of judicial masturbatory euphemism…

[OhFace]

Please tell me this last sentence is not true:

“If convicted, Thompson would face up to 10 years in prison and a $20,000 fine on each charge and would have to register as a sex offender upon his release.”

Offender of what? Himself? It’s just completely ridiculous!

[Bippy_the_Beardless]

@OhFace

Please tell me this last sentence is not true:

“If convicted, Thompson would face up to 10 years in prison and a $20,000 fine on each charge and would have to register as a sex offender upon his release.”

Offender of what? Himself? It’s just completely ridiculous!

No he was allegidly exposing his activities to others on purpose, that makes his actions applicable to requiring sex offender registration.

[EnderWay]

Thompson, 58, who spent more than 20 years on the bench before stepping down

This guy can walk after 20 years on the bench with a penis pump :eek:

[mhendo]

@CynicalGabe

He was masturbating like a motherfuck!! :eek:

Indeed he was!

The Smoking Gun has a copy of the original petition for the judge’s removal.

And here’s the original thread from last year:

Woo hoo! The Court is masturbating like a motherfuck!

[BwanaBob]

@mhendo

Indeed he was!

The Smoking Gun has a copy of the original petition for the judge’s removal.

And here’s the original thread from last year:

Woo hoo! The Court is masturbating like a motherfuck!

Ha ha Smoking Gun…

Seriously this thread has my vote for Greatest Pun of the Year.

[Guinastasia]

IIRC, he also shaved his genitalia during court. Clearly he was dedicated to his work.