I briefly worked for an amusement park. During some construction the path to the customer lot was redirected through the employee lot, and the customers would be going down the same lanes as the employee trams. As I was waiting for my tram, a car pulled up to me and the driver asked, “Is this the parking lot?” I knew what he meant, but I didn’t get fed a straight line very often so I put my hand over my eyes and slowly looked around, taking in the sea of parked vehicles around us. He drove off angry.
I had borrowed my father’s pick-up to help a friend move, and we managed to lock the keys inside it. After a few minutes spent watching my friend swear and wrestle with a coathanger and a pocket knife, trying to unbend it into something Useful for Unlocking Doors, I had a bright idea.
“Hey, my dad’s got a toolbox in the cab of the truck!” I said.
He rolled his eyes at me. “Go get it,” he sneered.
I was halfway up the walk before I stopped and said, “Oh…” :smack:
Where’s my sign?
As part of our strange, random acts of kindness to each other my family decided to have a game of “Weakest Link” on the PC. But it had to be installed and it was a pretty long install. At about 30% my mum turned to me and asked:
“Does it have to go all the way to 100%?”
Here’s your sign, Mum. 
Friend: Were you at pub such and such last night?
Me: No. Were you?
Friend: Yes.
(I think we both get a sign)
My mom recently visited. She’s notorious for asking stupid questions. Some gems from the last visit:
• We’re at the grocery store. I put some yogurt into my cart. Mom says, “You like yogurt?” No mom, I just put stuff I hate into the grocery cart to see how long I can keep it in the fridge. Here’s your sign.
• We’re sitting on my deck in the backyard. She’s asking me about some of my plants, what they are and what not. She soon realizes that I own about a gajillion terra cotta pots. (I don’t even know how many.) She says, “Do you buy all those pots?” No, mom, I steal them from little old ladies while they’re gardening. Here’s your sign.
She was ill this visit, so that’s about all I can think of at the moment.
Mr. S and I had witnessed an accident – ambulance coming down the opposite-direction on-ramp to the highway (yes, with lights and siren and an injured patient inside!), somehow gets cut off, and flips over several times, coming to a stop not far from our car. I pulled the car off the road while Mr. S went over to help. I waited by the side of the highway while the medical helicopter arriaved and the cops redirected the traffic off the highway and up onto the overpass.
As the rubberneckers slowly drifted by, a woman in a car rolling past leaned out her window and yelled to me, “What happened?”
I just stared and said, “Accident.” And by then she was well beyond me.
Yeah, I’m gonna give you the whole play-by-play as you’re coasting past me in a car. :rolleyes: Here’s your sign.
If he was at the pub, he may have seen someone who looks like you, but wasn’t quite sure. He gets a pardon. You on the other hand, here’s your sign.
I think they BOTH get a pass. Just because the friend asked whether Pookah was at the pub, doesn’t mean that he was there himself. (Perhaps a friend told him that he thought he saw Pookah there. Or maybe it’s their common hangout and it would be reasonable to ask each other if they went there last night. Maybe it’s a big place, or they could have been there at different times.)
I didn’t see anything stupid about this exchange. At least that didn’t involve unwarranted assumptions.
One of my sister’s favorite movies as a kid was Big Business. So, on our first trip to NYC, my mother wanted to take us to see the Plaza Hotel. She couldn’t find it so she asked a passing police officer where it was. He just kind of grinned and pointed at the building behind us. We were standing in the driveway to the Plaza.
I think my whole family gets a sign for that one.
Ahem. I have black, blue, and purple hair. I get this about once a month:
“Did you know you have blue hair?” blink “Holy cow, how did that happen!”
-OR-
“Is your hair purple?” No. It’s neon pink.
Here’s your sign.
I got the DVD for my dad, and there’s a few extra bits on it that aren’t on the TV airing.
Larry the Cable Guy just creeps me out, but I could lay down and listen to Ron White talk all day long.
Larry the Cable Guy cracks me up when he talks about his sister’s horse. Every single time!
:D:D:D:D:D
I work in an office that does parentage testing. Sometimes we test two parents and a child, sometimes only the father and child. Not long ago I was setting up an appointment with a lady on the phone. She gave me her information, then she gave me her child’s information, then she paused a moment. Brightly, I said, “So will it be just the two of you then?” :smack:
Get me a sign!
And his grandmother being arrested for shoplifting at Bass Pro Shops because she got the farts, and they thought she was stealing a duck call and some stink bait. Which was totally bogus, because there weren’t any pockets in the nightgown she was wearing. 
This reminds me of a Bill Cosby story where he went to visit Stevie Wonder. When he got to Stevie’s house and entered, he noticed the house was dark. He called out, asking where Stevie was. Stevie answered that he was in the bathroom, shaving. Well, Bill, without thinking until the words blurted out, asked “why are you shaving in the dark?”. To which Stevie answered “I have always shaved in the dark!” :smack:
It’s a good thing my wife’s not a 'doper, because she’d kill me if she knew I spread this around:
Picking up a box of “Brown-n-Serve” sausages she asks in all seriousness: “So, how do these work? Do you just brown and serve them?”
She’s also got a couple of nice questions regarding buffalo wings.
I NEED A SIGN.
This morning my daughter asked for oatmeal. I put the water on to boil. She grabbed the oatmeal out of the pantry and took the lid off. I told her we had to wait for the water to boil. I told her to put the lid back on. When the water was boiling, I grabbed the container by the lid and spilled it everywhere. I then turned to her and said " did you put the lid back on"?
Now, she is only 4, so had I not told you all, no one would ever know.
I once asked my parents how to spell “R2D2” and “C3PO”. I was only like 6, but still. . .
As they’re apparantly spelled Artoo Detoo and See Threepio (stupid EU writers) that’s not as dumb a question as you’d think.
I wonder if I now get a sign for posting this as a good example of a stupid exchange when it obviously wasn’t. :smack:
(Mind you, in actual the fact this pub is small enough to make it very hard to miss anyone or be unsure of anyone’s identity. Being there at different times is just about possible, but unlikely considering circumstances.)