Heroes 11/24/08 "The Eclipse, part I" (spoilers)

Cafe Society
1

Once again, it is time to discuss and whine about Heroes. Perhaps more one than the other.

This week, the reality-bending eclipse is back, no doubt casting both America and Japan into shadow once more. Everybody’s assumptions about what was up with the eclipse in Season 1 will probably turn out to be completely incorrect. Much angst will ensue.

Me? I’m hoping someone gets offed this week. It’s been a while since we had a good character killin’, and this show has way too many useless walkons. Even the ones that do get killed still show up, like Usutu.

Personally, I vote for Not!Niki. Although, with another triplet, they’ll just bring her back, again…

2

Maybe the big ‘they’ saved Niki and put her in storage somewhere and the coffin is home to the third triplet. Someone’s training Nik to be an asskicking agent; then she comes back and they replay the good-evil twin stuff again, except this time the evil one’s real and not a symptom of a psychosis.

Anyhow, just saw the preview and Ando’s running through the corn at some quaint farmhouse. Maybe they make a baseball field and someone’s dad comes back from the dead.

3

Ewww, HD autopsy!

4

Not even to the intro credits, and… did Arthur actually say he had to erase Hiro’s memory at any point before the recap, now? 'Cause I surely don’t recall that.

5

No he never said that. Didn’t even sound like his voice actually.

6

OK, naked slimy Mohinder- bunk, me, gone.

7

Okay, amusing cameos. And Peter’s intelligence continues to increase the longer he is without powers.

Good thing there was never an eclipse before, though, since we now know Adam would have crumbled to dust without his powers.

8

Actually, this episode was OK, which means its stellar compared to the last 1 1/2 years of Heroes.

I assume we will just be teased now about Claire dying, then the eclipse will pass and she’ll heal.

9

Im guessing Noah is going to shoot Elle which will mean the end of semi-good Sylar.

10

Well, they gave us a throw away line to explain the “eclipse giving powers”.
Arthur to Mo: I thought you said the first eclipse was just a coincidence.
Mo: I guess I was wrong.

Problem is all the people that we know had powers before the first eclipse are losing their powers during this eclipse, so why didn’t they lose their powers during the first eclipse, too? Peter mentioned to Nathan the coincidence of an eclipse happening the first time Nathan flew, except we know Nathan flew prior to that when his wife was crippled in the accident and Nathan flew out of the car. We also know that Peter was passively absorbing powers prior to the eclipse because he dreamed about Nathan’s accident. We know Sylar had his powers before the eclipse and of course, all the old-school (Mr. & Mrs. Petrelli, Linderman, Adam, Parkman Sr. and many more). They had better come up with a good explanation for the eclipse thing.

I agree, Peter is smarter without powers. He’s also more likeable.

Elle on the other hand is more and more annoying. I used to be able to sympathize with her a little but now she makes no sense. Telling the car rental guy that Sylar kidnapped her, goading Sylar, getting upset because she turned him into a monster and then once again putting him in a situation where he will have to kill an innocent.

Best line of the night: Sylar: I hate heroes.

11

What do you expect; her power is based on alternating current!

12

This episode rocked- everyone got with the program and got out and did shit. Noah got to bitchslap some sense into Claire’s whiny ass and smash Sylar into kindling with one hand tied behind his back. Nathan and Peter worked out some issues on their road trip. Hiro and Ando found Matt without having to show them reading it in the comic. Naked Mohinder! Elle and Sylar are still oddly bipolar, but in a Badlands murder spree kind of way instead of just being inconsistently written. The logic gaps don’t bug me (i.e: eclipse powered erase-o-powers) when the story hits the mark

13

Our DVR cut out with 4 minutes to go. What happened at the end?

14

Noah put a bullet in Sylar’s brain, and since he was kissing Elle at the time, he got a two-fer. He came home and found out that Claire was dead from blood loss, and SpongeBrain Claire’sMom put a bullet in HIS brain. Peter and Nathan were both killed by the Haitian’s evil brother. Matt walked out on Daphne because she’s too gimpy now. Mr. and Mrs. Petrelli died in a mutual murder. NotNikki fell off a building. Ando and Hiro got hired by Seth Green and Breckin Meyer to help them run their comic book shop, which will be spun off into its own series next year.

Whew. That was a busy four minutes!

15

Really? And they didn’t bother to, oh, I don’t know, update the time they sent to TiVo for people with DVRs?
At least it wasn’t the writers (& Peter) who were dumb this week.

16

I’m going to assume next week we meet another Hero who has the ability to grow corn and raise mountains from the ground, because neither of those are all that prevelent around Lawrence, KS.

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Arthur: Hi! Wanna see my etchings? Good thing I can heal myself, because I had a little incident with the electric pencil sharpener while I was in a trance. Y’know what’s weird? You can tell who’s who in my drawings-not like that ambiguous comic book artist. That Isaac draws more dead than alive-he’s more prolific than Tupac

Mohinder: Hi! I’m Dana Skully, welcome to my autopsy table. Wanna see something even more disgusting than my scales? THUD! Mutant guts! Not gross enough? OK, I’ll show you my hands. Hey boss, why are you drawing pictures of me being ambiguously dead?

Daphne: Do you trust me Matt? Don’t trust me. I’m bad. But you like me right? Tell me you trust me!
Matt: Uhhhhh yeah? (to self:God, I thought I was insecure.)
Daphne: You took too long! I’m going home. Who’s at the door?
Matt: Bert & Ernie.
Hiro: TURTLE!
Ando: The comic says we’re all suppose to go recreate Children of the Corn. Do you know anyone with a farm?

Nathan: To Infinity and Beyond!!!
Peter: I wanna come, I WANNA COME!!!
Nathan: Oh, jump on, ya whiny brat. Whoosh

HRG: Clairebear, care to tell me what crawled up your ass and died?
Claire: I hate you I hate you!
HRG:Let’s do it-right here, right now!
Claire: Dad, Jesus! Gross!
HRG: I’m going to beat your petulant whiny ass with a floor plank and call you demeaning names- it’s training montage time!

*Lo,and darkness falls over the earth, causing Nathan and Peter to crash into the water like a meteor onto the snows of Hoth. They emerge from the water to seek out the secret Rebel base. Mohinder snots himself into the wall; Matt, Bert and Ernie emerge from the shadows of the corn; Elle gives Gabriel some psychobitch girlfriend mindfuck, then they drive off in some smok’n Springsteen wheels like Sheen and Spacek.
*
Elle: Hi cheerleader! Bzzzzz-thhppppp. Huh?
Gabe: I got this babe-heywaitaminute??? You no go squoosh?
HRG: Welcome to my playing field, Sylar. Wanna see what I can do to you with my little finger? Snap,crunch-Ouch! Yeah, I’m the fuck’n man!
Elle: Hey you. Shouldn’t have dropped the gun. Bang!
Claire:It hurts, daddy. Which fucking rocks!
Elle: Sylar, you’re cute when you crawl pathetically in agony

Matt: Daphne, let me in, I love you!
Daphne: Do you have to be a mindreader to hear the pathos in my voice? Oh, come in.
Matt: Whoa, awkward!
Daphne: This would be tonight’s dose of irony.

Mohinder: How did I manage to glue myself upside down to this wall? Hey, healed! Oops, pants fell off. Well,off to find my one night stand true love.
Bug Dumb Lug: Why don’t you just kiss this wall for a while, professor?
Mohinder: That’s not really an insult, you know. I am a professor
BDL: I’m squishing your head!
Mohinder: Your argument is compelling
Arthur: You don’t really think getting healed was going to be that easy for you, do you?

Sylar: OWWWWWWW
Elle: you big baby. Let me yank your arm some more.
Sylar: speaking of yanking………they say crazy chick sex is the best-
HRG: I’m shooting your head!

Next week, for US viewers- Claire feels the pain. And set your tivo’s to record 5 minutes over.

Next week, for Canadian viewers:HRG has his crack at balancing Sylar’s karma, and Gabriel feels the pain

18

Oh, okay. I was worried that I missed something important.

19

Eh? The mountains area fair bit away – you have to go to Nebraska for the nearest of those, I think – but my mom and aunt own farmland down near Lawrence. We grow corn on it.

Actually, Daphne’s family farmhouse reminded me of my grandparents’ house, although that was up in Nebraska.

20

Those scabs or whatever they have on Suresh is a collosally bad makeup job, IMO.