And you base this statement on…?
I hope rehab would go well for you, but I’m concerned: if you take someone trying to make your post readable this badly, how will you take the critical counselling you’d get in rehab?
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You’re new here. How do you know how long people stay?
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You’re new here. It’s your job to fit in and learn the board culture.
That includes well written posts and not whining when people call you on your typos. If you want to stay, get used to it. -
Nobody thinks your problem is mundane or pointless, that’s just the name of this forum. We’re all so used to the name that we forget it’s not always accurate. But this is correct place to put letters asking for advice. The other forums are for other things. You get the best advice and the kindest reception here.
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You need to go to rehab. Nothing else you want for your daughter will possible unless you get clean and stay clean.
And seriously, best of luck to you. There’s quite a few people on this board who are recovering addicts. If you stick around and get to know us, I’m sure they’ll be happy to share their experiences.
OK, if we can all take a minute and let the bullshit go, I think that would be good.
I can understand the reaction to the name of MPSIMS. Yeah, it sounds silly, but no, it’s not an insult and it definitely won’t keep anyone from taking you seriously, I promise. This is just where we put the “talking about our lives stuff.”
Here’s the thing, though. It being on paper isn’t the problem. The problem is the problem. You don’t get to choose whether you have the problem. Maybe you can keep it off some court documents if you don’t go get help, sure. But out here in the real world, the problem will still exist, and sooner or later, if you don’t deal with it, it’s going to take you away from your child, one way or the other.
The thing that you have a choice over right now is whether you’re going to deal with this head on and take care of it, or whether you’re going to keep letting the fact that you’re scared keep you from making a decision. I don’t mean that to sound overly critical, since lots of us make decisions based on being afraid all the time. It’s hard not to. But you being scared isn’t the biggest problem you’re facing right now.
If it helps any – and I’m not your lawyer, and I’m certainly not an expert in family law – let’s look at it like this. Say there are two paths you can go down. One, you check into rehab for the short/medium-term, beat the disease, and come out a strong, clean, young mother. Two, you don’t go into rehab, and you try to stay clean on your own, and god only knows what happens. Maybe you do it, maybe not.
A year from now, no matter what happens between now and then, which one of those choices do you think is going to look more impressive in front of a judge? A judge is going to, every time, take into consideration that you confronted your problem and beat it, and that’s going to help you. It’s probably the best decision for you in the short term, but think in terms of years and decades – which one of those people do you want to be 1, 5, 10 years from now?
One final point - 3 years clean and then you relapsed with your old friends. Not only is that not doing you any good, you aren’t helping them any, either.
On Argent Towers’ post that said that people didn’t last here long, which is featured in this thread.
Was your contribution really worth posting? Seriously?
thanks,… i guess rehab is really whats best. im just so afraid its going to hurt me in the end. but at the same time, if i dont im probably just oging to relapse again anyway. ughhh,… im just so nervous. i want to do whats right but i dont want to hurt the situation anymore than i already have.
You’ve already have several posters saying you should consider Rehab. I personally also agree with them- it’s a step towards the right direction. It might hurt your custody issues right now, but in the long run, what’s the best thing for YOU, and what’s the best thing for your daughter as well?
Right now you’ve got a lot on your plate, and you seem hesitant about it. Which is quite understandable. But first, I think you should focus on helping yourself, so that you can be in the best position to help your daughter in the long run then. That may mean some sacrifices right now with the custody and such, but if you can clean yourself up, that’s a HUGE step in the right direction towards being able to be there for her later in life.
Good thoughts or do you disagree?
Well, really, what’s your other plan?
Is there any research that shows that rehab actually works? I have always wondered that.
I think ‘fixing’ her OP wasn’t the right thing to do. It doesn’t take long for a new poster to catch the feel of a board. No need to ‘fix’ their posts, is there? Telling folks that people are educated around here seems like you are implying that she isn’t. That doesn’t seem like the right thing to say either. I’m sure his heart was in the right place, but it just doesn’t seem like the right thing to do.
pffft,… i dont know. keep goign to na meetings and move in with my mother, who i dont get along with, but is willing, my father says to let me stay there. sorry if thats hard to understand. “read” and my mother has my daughter half of the time. that way ill be able to see her. ive been clean for 5 days. i really dont wnat to use now but i dont want that to quickly change at a whim, which it does, and for me to go with it. at least if i go and face my problem and get the therapy i need, ill come out a better mother. as of right now, i feel liek shit. am crying and can barely type.
I don’t know anything about law or rehab being on legal documentation, but I will say this:
If you have a drug addiction then the very first step to getting your life back on track is beating that addiction. It will be hard, yes, and probably painful both physically and mentally, but that is the obvious first step. I’m not sure, but MAYBE you’ll end up with some trouble later when it comes to custody or visitation rights of your daughter, but if you make an effort and really try to pull things around for yourself it will all probably work out in the end. Again, I’m not sure about this, but I think courts and probation officers and social workers tend to have a bit more sympathy for an addict mother who is actually trying to get her life in order than for someone who just doesn’t care. Just get yourself in a program, work like hell to stay clean, and remember that if you suffer for a little while you’ll have a whole lifetime with your daughter in the end. Get a picture of her, tack it to your wall, look at it every time you’ve got a craving, and then ask yourself which one is more important.
Good luck to you.
thank you,… i felt the same way. it jsut seemed pretty rude, but whatever. im over it…so i guess the ultimate decision is to go to rehab, whether it cause legal problems or not, because its whats best for me and my daughter? thats what i was leaning towards as well,… but i just wanted to see if a lot of people thought it would hurt more than it would help. my father just keeps telling me that all rehab will be is a different bed, and that im going to have to come back out into the real world in a month anyway, so pretty much whats the point, its only going to hurt me. but i dont agree,… in my opinion, the therapy and counselling will help me with everything between my addiction, my boyfriend of 3.5 years dieing in front of me in an emergency room, and my parents being drug addicts as well. i think the therapy will help. im jsut so afraid legally. but like i said im willing to do it for her mostly, myslef comes after. for god’s sake shes what saved me the first time. i found out i was pregnant and never otuched it again, for 2.5 years. i owe her a good mother.
Yes. I’m not in a good position to provide a citation to that effect right now*, but yes. And anecdotally, there are plenty of accounts out there of how rehab is a literal lifesaver.
That’s assuming you’re talking about a psychological or educational perspective. One of the starkest effects of an intensive rehab program is that it prevents one from putting any more chemicals into one’s body, which helps immensely. If you’re still alive and you aren’t using anymore, it’s working, for a lot of people. But "rehab"is a pretty broad term.
Hey myheartbeatsinbreakdowns, I’m going to send you a private message in a sec if that’s all right.
- OK, fine, I’m tired.
Good luck.
ok,. well today i got a list of 5 or 6 other rehabs in jersey that will take people with no insurance. i had said earlier, but just in case people didnt get to see,… ill add it i had been set on going to rehab next week, and been playin phone tag with the woman in the admissions office until today. i finally talked to her, and she said that there was no more government funding. to call back at the end of december. but at the narcotics anonnymous meeting i, went to this afternoon, i got a list of all the rehans in new jersey,… so tomorrow. i will get back on the phone and call,. because it seems like the right thing to do. its actually what i want to do, im just so afraid. ok,… its 210 am in jersey, im goin to bed. thanks for the advise, and tomorrow ill get back on the phone and try to get into somewhere some more. thanks again everyone <3
haha jimmy,… i actually got all the way to writing u a personal msg as well, but didnt wnat to seem weird so i closed it out, so thats pretty funny.
Well goodluck in the hard work you have ahead of you so you can come back stronger and well for yourself and your child. In the end it will be worth it if you take the long view. It seems rehab is the best choice.
thanks eveybody for your time and thoughts. 
good night. 2morrow, rehab hunt it is. nyte.
myheartbeatsinbreakdowns, yesterday I got a call from a family friend. He and his wife have been raising their granddaughter because her mother, their daughter, is a drug addict. She died yesterday. She was only 27 and now her daughter will grow up without her mom.
Do what you need to do to save yourself.
It concerns me that you have 10 - 20 people in your life fighting a comparable addiction. You might want to distance yourself from these people ASAP.
Yeah, people who are trying to quit smoking aren’t helped by standing outside at 10:30 in the smoking area, and recovering heroin addicts have no business hanging out with people who are still doing heroin. Very bad idea.
Look at it this way - if you don’t kick the habit, you will (or at any rate should) lose your daughter.