I have no answer, merely opinions…I have no basis for knowing how court decisions are made. I have also not experienced any addiction therapy, so I am not familiar with the techniques.
Option 1 - No rehab (keep doing what you are doing)
Doesn’t seem to be working (from the couple hundred words you’ve typed). You got dragged back into it, and managed to get arrested once. You’ve already (temporarily) lost your daughter. Given your slip, do you really think you can force yourself to keep clear of temptation, stay clean and keep your job by yourself?
Option 2 - Go to rehab (voluntarily)
You will get some theraputic support and advice to help you get clean and stay clean. You are doing this voluntarily, so while there may be documents indicating the rehab they should also note that you are doing this of your own desire to get clean for your daughter.
Option 3 - No rehab, not getting clean, arrest and forced into rehab
You get court order rehab and theraputic support and advice. You make it easier for your BF to get your daughter since you’ve proven that you cannot be trusted.
It seems to this outsider that keeping the company of your friends is proving harmful to you and your welfare. Given your fathers background also seems like his advice may be biased and overly wary. I understand why he may be wary of having records of requiring rehab, but the other options don’t seem any better. See if the rehab centers have some sort of legal advice to pass on.
You’ve already proved that you have the ability and will to keep clean. You did it for almost 3 years already. What changed in the last while that led you back to that dark place? You’d better figure out what changed so you can avoid that trigger in the future.
You have a long road in front of you, keep in mind why you are staying clean and keep working at it. It will be easier to hold on to what you have than trying to get it back.
Sorry for the semi-hijack, but I stopped by to note astonishment that what with the Constitution and all, someone can be arrested for “wandering in a drug zone” … :eek: Since when is simply wandering around a freakin’ crime??? Or are some areas now illegal to “wander” in?? I thought we had the freedom to pretty much “wander” wherever we want in public!!
And yes love, for heaven’s sake go to rehab. You know you need to go. (upon re-read of the thread, I see that you are working on it - keep trying!) Just a thought - if you don’t have medical coverage, perhaps your State might offer Medicaid for someone in your situation? If you have legal custody of your child, both you and she might be eligible. Unless you’ve already tried, you might want to consider applying…
And since you asked for advice, one more thing: Don’t expect rehab (or anything/anyone else) to “fix” you. Every step of the way you, personally, are responsible for your own recovery. It won’t work if you expect anyone besides yourself to be responsible for your day-to-day actions and condition. You will have to work to change your old habits, thinking patterns and perhaps even re-tool your personality to make the changes stick. But it’s all worth it. Substance addiction causes thinking errors as you undoubtedly well know, and it will take a lot of persistent work to root them out and eliminate them.
Given everything else that’s going on in the OP’s life, I wouldn’t take that description at face value. I don’t think anyone charged her with a count of “wandering in a drug zone.”
IANAL, but I would submit going to rehab on your own and before a court orders you to is better.
And if you have 10-20 friends who are also battling addiction, you need to get away from them. I know you want to help them, but your first priority is to get yourself clean and take care of your daughter. (Upon rereading the thread, I see cantara has made my points for me.)
You have one question to answer. What do you need to do to be a good mother to your daughter?
This is a heartbreaking thread, myheartbeatsinbreakdowns, and I hope you are able to benefit from the support and advice you’re receiving.
Please forgive me if you think I’m being a little harsh on him, but I don’t get the sense that your father is on your side in the matter of getting yourself back on track. If you do distance yourself from your addict friends, you’d probably better consider putting him on the list of people you don’t spend time around.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your little girl. Best of luck.
My younger brother struggled with alcohol for years. He’d go through rehab, and come out with a “this time is it!” attitude, but he couldn’t leave his friends behind, so before long he’d be drinking again. He finally realized that he was never going to get anywhere until he ditched them, so he did. Some of these were people he’s known since childhood! But he finally cut himself off from them, and he’s never looked back, and never had any regrets. He’s got about five years sobriety behind him now.
It wasn’t your friends who got you off track. it was your decision to go out with people who are on drugs. Don’t blame them. You have to find a new way to live. If you stay around them the drugs will win. You will lose your daughter. You will go down the drug path to its ugly end. You can not raise a kid properly when you live on the streets.