Yes, I see. If it were a matter of not understanding, his defense of it would not change so rapidly and repeatedly. IMO.
Who are you?
By “showing me”, I meant " showing us". I’m the guy who’s seen you around and doesn’t like you. Who the fuck are you?
So let me make a bad analogy:
I think it is rude for poster A to continue to post about God. If I ask them to please stop, they should?
EC and I are both individuals who have sexual fantasies that a lot of other individuals find repulsive or disgusting (his less so than some of mine). Both of us enjoy discussing our fantasies in an intellectual setting and have our screen names based on our sexuality (although mine has other meanings as well). I don’t mind bondage, in fact, I find it very boring and vanilla in itself but I love it when other things are combined with it.
However, despite all these similarities, I find EC creepy.
It’s kinda hard to explain so forgive me if this doesn’t make much sense. First of all, I take offense to EC’s repeated claim that his detractors are prudes who are not interested in intelligent discussion.
This leads me to believe that either EC is stupid, deliberately being obtuse, or is so stuck in his fantasy world that he can not understand the feelings of others outside of it. People are uncomfortable with bondage. This does not make them prudes or intellectually stunted or anything of that sort. People are uncomfortable with all sorts of sex acts. I like reading stories/viewing pics of men having sex with men. There are many other individuals who find this distasteful but I don’t consider them prudes or think that they should broaden their horizons. I also like rape fantasies. I understand that this sets off triggers in some people and that a lot of others find it horrible and sick. I do not think that they are stunted or prejudiced or boring. What turns me on is different than what turns others on. Most het porn is boring and most lesbian porn turns me off. This does not mean that I am a prude. EC is demanding that other people respect his sexuality while not doing the same to others. Bondage isn’t enlightenment.
I think lissener nailed my main objection to EC when he said
A lot of people think that rape fantasies are horrible because they encourage actual rape or somehow make it cheap. For a lot of people images of rape make them very uncomfortable and can trigger emotions that they’d rather not have. I like (some) rape fantasies. However, I understand that other people are uncomfortable with them. Most people in the communities that share dirty stories/pictures with also understand this and stories/pictures/videos that contain such subjects are always marked “non-con” (nonconsensual) or “rape.” I would never post about a rape fantasy on a message board without warning other people what the fantasy entailed, just as I would never submit a non-con story or a series of pictures to one of the communities I’ve joined without a warning that it contained non-con activities. I have a cyber rp partner who I have been role-playing with for 5 or 6 years now. We have done countless rape fantasies together over the years. However, despite the fact that she has consented to me raping her characters before in the past, I always ask if I can each and every time before I do it. She enjoys bondage and asks me to do more of it so I don’t have to ask her about that, but if I when I am with a partner who is new and seems to be mostly interested in vanilla sex, I will always ask before engaging in anything that moves out of the vanilla realm unless they have specifically asked for it.
I don’t consider people who dislike rape fantasies to be prudes or intellectually stunted, just people with different tastes. If they call me a rapist or say that I want to be raped because of my sexual fantasies, then I would object to that. Now, I know that rape fantasies are different than bondage fantasies. However, bondage stories/pics are also given warnings and are treated by a lot of people without such fantasies as similar. Incest, sex with young children, beastiality, BDSM, and countless other sexual fantasies are given warnings as well. If someone on this board was repeatedly mentioning their love of child-adult fantasy sexual situations you can bet that people would ask to ban them despite the fact that it is just a fantasy and can be practiced by safe, consenting adults (in the child-adult fetish stuff, one adult partner will pretend to be younger).
So, to be clear, my objection is not to the bondage (Hell, on monday I rped a bondage scene that was quite hot) but on EC’s inability to understand and accept that others are squicked out by it and are not prudes for being squicked out by it. I don’t mind the bondage references threads provided that they have a warning on them so people who are disturbed by such topics can avoid them.
kimera You framed that very well and summed up about half the posts in this thread nicely done.
Jim
First, :rolleyes: If you really think that’s what I’m saying, then fine, whatever. You win.
Second, the administrators of this board actually DO have a special rule for witnessing, don’t they?
Third, where have I said that my the personal tastes, as an individual, should dictate board policy across the board? Am I the only one who’s ever taken EC to task for his manners? Am I even the first?
Fourth, if you’re in a conversation with someone, and they ask you to change the subject, what would manners suggest you do? Does that make it “mandatory” or “policy,” or just manners? Not that that’s even relevant; I’m only objecting to EC’s thread flashing, as in Ave’s examples. I’m not advocating that EC never be able to address the subject at all. I’m asking him to consider governing his behavior according to good manners. I’m not instruction him to do so, or trying to get the mods to order him to do so.
So, straw man all around I guess.
The post was not aimed specifically at you, if it was I would have had your name in it, but that is okay.
That EC should not leap into a “Knitting” thread or even a “I hate Cheney” thread is true. I thought it was established he has largely stopped doing that?
IRL, if I am talking politics or religion and someone asks to change the conversation, I would unless it was a group of people and we were enjoying the debate. Then the person with the objection should probably head elsewhere. Of course if it was on a crowded train, I would be an ass to keep talking but at a party the person could wander elsewhere.
Are you saying EC is still crapping in threads? I thought this was not true anymore?
Jim
Ditto.
I think kimera nailed what it is that many of us find so distasteful about Evil Captor. Nothing wrong with bondage necessarily, or liking it, or even talking about it.
It’s that he seems to get a kick out of dropping it into unrelated conversations and “shocking the squares”. He likes making people uncomfortable. Maybe that’s NOT the case, but that’s what it seems like.
Yes, that’s my primary objection. The rest of this thread has just been my attempt to explain WHY it’s distasteful. Color me retarded; I shoulda just ast kimera to chime in four pages ago.
And, on post-submit reflection (Why do I always do that? My sister does it too; always calls back right after hanging up.)–on post-submit reflection, it seems to me that EC’s position has largely been, “Well, it SHOULDN’T make you uncomfortable, because it doesn’t make ME uncomfortable. Please convince me to change my mind.”
Which is missing the point. I like what kimera said, about EC’s demanding that everyone respect his sexual philosophy, while at the same time being so disrespectful of others’.
EXACTLY what I was talking about in this thread.
Yes, in my opinion he is. A look at his recent posting history indicates that he is still engaging in off-topic sexual-themed posts at regular intervals. (Not counting posts in threads where the topic may bring up sex, porn, etc. of course.)
Why does everyone hate Elizabeth Rohm? Post # 33
Embarassing ephiphanies about movies post # 127
Cheney shoots hunting companion
Any of these examples standing alone would probably pass unnoticed as an innocuous glitch, but since the pittings they stand out as more of the same pattern of off-topic sexually themed posts, just at a lower posting frequency. IMO.
Wow, Ave, you are really reaching to find something to demonize Evil Captor, aintcha? I mean, okay, the Cheney one doesn’t make much sense, but pointing out that there’s a pun on the word “horny” in Beetlejuice is off-topic to that thread how, exactly? And what’s wrong with his post about Elizabeth Rohm? Saying that she’s got the acting range of a porn star strikes me as quite a bit distant from discussing sex in an inappropriate context.
I agree that Ave’s examples are not the best examples, and I further agree that EC has toned it down a bit since the mod admonition. But such cites as Ave offers, coming from almost any other poster, would be unremarkable. But from EC they anecdotally support my view of him as “looking at the world through porn colored glasses.” I saw them too, and while I didn’t think they were worthy of mention–or mod reporting–I did seem them as just more of the same limited worldview.
Thank you, lissener. That’s just about what I would have said, but perhaps not as well or succinctly.
Miller:
Would you please explain what you mean by this? I mean, the part about “demonizing”?
I’ve seen this attitude towards bondage before, oddly enough. That it is ‘enlightened’ and freeing. That those who do not care for it are repressive, or lesser people, not mature enough for true sensuality.
I think it was, and I’m really not joking here, in LaVey type satanism.
I don’t agree with your characterization of EC’s posts in general, but I can see how those posts would offer some measure of support for it. However, AveDementia posted them as evidence that EC is still getting his jollies by dropping inappropriate, sexually-themed posts into unrelated threads. With the possible exception of the Cheney post (which I’m inclined to read as more of a manifestation of his far more annoying political partisanship), none of the posts Ave dug up show any such thing, including the earlier post about Rome. They strike me, instead, as the postings of someone so desperate to villify Evil Captor as a (to use Ave’s own term) “creepy exhibitionist” that they’ll seize on any post he makes that has the most tenuous connection to any form of sexuality (bondage or otherwise) to “prove” their point, no matter how innocuous or thread-appropriate the posting.
Ave, I trust that answers your question as well?
Well, while I say again that those were not the strongest examples, count me in on your description of Ave’s characterization of EC. As I said before, he’s toned it down. But those posts were only “innocuous” if stripped of context, specifically the context that they’re pretty much in keeping with EC’s tendency (in my view) to process most input to his brain through some pretty crankin porn filters. Again, not censorable, and not always entirely inappropriate to the thread, but, cumulatively, squicky. “Cumulatively” being the word missing from your stripped-of-context characterization as “innocuous.”
YMMV (duh).