Hey, I'm officially a 'soccer mom'--is there anything I should know, hints, etc.?

In My Humble Opinion
1

La Principessa has decided to celebrate her entry into sixth grade and Middle School by going out for soccer. It took us a while to figure out why, since she’s always been the smallest kid in her class (she’s the small, fiery type), and the biggest physical effort we’ve ever seen her expend so far in her 11 years is climbing down out of her top bunk to get another book off the desk. She’s not a jock, in other words.

But we finally realized that everyone else in her “set” is going out for a sport of some kind, to celebrate their entry into Middle School, and since they’re all taller and stronger than she is, they’re all going out for (a) volleyball, (b) basketball, or © cheerleading. At some very fundamental level she must have realized that in soccer, the race is not always to the “tall”, so off she went yesterday morning for the first before-school practice, and she liked it, and so now she’s got the cleats and the shin guards and I’m a “soccer mom”.

It’s a mixed group of 6th, 7th, and 8th graders, about 25 kids altogether. She and another 6th grade girl named Amanda (they’ve known each other since kindergarten but they aren’t really “friends”) are the only females.

She and Amanda are also the only ones who have never played soccer before. She related with some awe how good the other kids (the boys) were. I told her, “Bonzo wanted to go out for soccer when he got into 6th grade, but all his buddies were also going out for soccer, and they were all a lot better at it than he was, so he was too shy to go, even though we paid for the sports physical and everything. So, good for you–you weren’t too shy to try out.”

Oh, and it wasn’t really a “tryout” as such–the coach is the librarian, a “Mrs. M”, who has been doing it for 20 years now, and she is also not the “jock” type, but definitely the “librarian” type. So it’s going to be a fairly low-key thing, no frenzied parents shouting at the kid who screwed up the place kick.

They’re going to split up into teams and take turns playing the other schools–that’s how laid-back Mrs. M. is. She’s not a trophy-hunter. And she says (I discussed this thoroughly with her, privately, on registration day, while Madame was waiting in line to have her sports physical in the gym), that she never “cuts” people from the team as such, but if it becomes obvious that someone isn’t doing well, or not having a good time–well, she says, it’s just obvious.

So, anybody play soccer in Middle School? Any females? Any hints, for both mom and Madame?

2

don’t buy a chrysler mini van.

3

Just enjoy your daughter’s new enthusiasm with her. My experience with adolescents would suggest that this is just the first hill in the roller coaster that is to come.

On the other hand, if my parents had sent me to swimming lessons when I told them I wanted to join Boy Scouts to learn to swim, I might be a very different person today.

So be supportive (I know you will) and understanding, especially if she decides that this isn’t the thing for her after what seems to you an inordinately short trial period. Encourage her to stick with it, but don’t make her feel like she’s made her bed and now she has to lie in it.

Good luck!

4

Well, mine’s only a 3rd grader but she and a couple of her friends are really into soccer. I’m the assistant coach this year. (How did that happen? I’m still trying to figure it out.) My advice is for you the parent to realize that the goal is not to kick the ball as far down the field as possible, it’s for her team to keep possession long enough to get it in the goal. Sometimes the ball moves backwards to obtain that goal. That seems to be the hardest thing for parents to understand. (That and when a ball is “in” or “out” and that they can’t tell offside unless they are in the right place which is where the assistant ref will be not someone sitting in the stands. This according to my hubby who refs U-8 through U-12.)

I don’t know if this applies to jr. high or not but when a kid starts out in U-6 or U-8 and they get hit hard with a ball, it’s always helpful to yell, “Great block!” before they have a chance to start crying.

Good luck to her. I hope she enjoys learning what she can do with a soccer ball. If she gets really into this, dance lessons help with coordination and martial arts help with balance and confidence.

5

Don’t scream at the coach or pressure her to excel at it or get overly involved in the ups and downs of how she does - it’s the fastest way to make a kid quit something.

I played soccer for 11 years - I was also a bookish kid who didn’t go for sports very much - and I loved it. It will hopefully help her take out some of her aggressions.

6

MUST. BUY. SUV.

Prefferebly a Ford Excursion.

7

Hmmm… this is kind of obvious, but just in case, buy her a soccer ball. Check with Ms. Librarian on what size ball they will use it may be a four or five at that age. Since she is small she may want to practice with a smaller ball to start, its easier.

Find someone who knows how to properly kick a ball to teach her how, its not always obvious to Americans (her toe should normally be pointed toward the ground, not to the outside so that she kicks with her instep). Its nice if she has an older relative or friend to kick the ball back and forth with (hint, hint), think of this as the 90/00’s equivalent of playing catch. If she is motivated this can be done by using a brick or concrete wall.

After she is comfortable with her dominant foot then she should start to learn with her other foot. Stopping the ball when it comes to you is called “trapping” the ball and she will need to learn how to do this too. Just takes someone to show her how and some practice. If she has been a non-athelete all her life this should help her to be a little more confident and fit in better.

Good luck.

8

Play it with her at night. If you aren’t any good she’ll take pride in being able to keep up with you (or beat you), if you are good at it, she’ll work hard to be as good as you. Works both ways and it always meant a lot to me when my dad played with me (rather than just watch I mean). Now I’m working on going pro, who knows that could be the reason.

9

[bernsevoice]MUST.BAN.GUNS[/bernse voice] :smiley:

Seriously, I second the practice with her advice if you can find the time. Maybe pick up a couple books on soccer fundamentals from the library for her to read if she has any interest. Gaining knowledge from the books will give her some more confidence about knowing what she’s doing too and this can only help. Without having a real coach, the knowledge she can gain from books will help her oversome her physical disadvantage much more quickly. With, of course, a little extra practice.

10

I played soccer in 6th grade, and I am female. I’ll try to help.

In my case, I was in a community league, so it wasn’t affiliated with the school. It was the first time that soccer was offered to 6th graders in my area, so most people didn’t know much about it. You pick things up rather quickly, though. We were expected to know our positions–no “herd soccer” like our third-grade siblings! Most of the skills were introduced by our coach. All our parents had to do was be good and polite spectators and bring orange wedges when it was their turn. If you want to practice with her at home, though, that’s cool, too. The point of the game is teamwork–passing the ball to your teammates upfield, not kicking it as far as you can and hoping it makes it into the goal. It was fun, even for a non-athlete like me.

Our team was about half boys and half girls. I am quite surprised that there are so few girls on this team, especially in this day and age! I notice that you said that other girls were trying out for basketball and volleyball. Are you in a state where girls’ basketball and volleyball and soccer are all played in the fall? (Until high school, I lived in a state where girls’ BB was played in the fall and volleyball was played in the winter. Then I moved to a state where volleyball was played in the fall, and girls’ BB was played in the winter. I understand that the latter is more common.) Girls’ basketball (offered by the school in 7th grade) killed the hope for a 7th-grade soccer team since half the old team wanted to play basketball instead! (Can you tell I went to a very small school? Basketball was king, too–especially girls’ BB. My high school, on the other hand, had a lot of girls’ soccer players, but, unfortunately, girls’ BB was overshadowed by the boys, since they played during the same season.) Is there a girls’ soccer team for high school? I’m just warning you that your daughter may wish to switch sports next year or some time in the future. It’s not a big deal, though, especially in middle school.

My sister played soccer from second grade (hers was one of the very first teams in our area) until 9th grade. She loved it. It was a great sport for her, and she’s small and fiery, just like your daughter. It was a great way for her to meet friends after we moved, too. She always enjoyed playing with the boys–she quit soccer after 9th grade because it wasn’t as much fun to play on an all-girls’ team! She later joined the rugby club, and then the Army.

One dad (he happened to be a father to a girl on my team and a boy on my sister’s) was quite obnoxious, especially when his son’s team was playing. He was always yelling and screaming at this kid, the coaches, and the referees. Don’t do that. Even if you think somebody screwed up, don’t do that. It wasn’t fun. He got red-carded (thrown out) a couple of times. I’d have been so embarrassed if my parents acted like that. Oh, and try to go to the games if you possibly can. My sister’s best friend was on her team during elementary school. My parents took that girl to every single game (and cheered for her, too.) I don’t think her parents ever made it to a single game.

Oh, and if your daughter is still growing, there are stores where you can trade in and buy used sports equipment. You probably already know she needs shin guards. Try and get her some real soccer shoes, too, if you can. I played in tennis shoes, but I did slip and fall a few times. Fields can be muddy.

HTH! Have fun!

11

  1. Cheerleading is not a sport.

  2. Soccer (we call it football here in the UK) is played world-wide. It’s a true team game, doesn’t require too much kit and is easy to practise.

  3. Ball skills are at the heart of the game:

trapping = controlling the ball quickly when it comes to you.

passing = giving it to a fellow team member, without risk of interception, and so they, in turn, can easily trap it (or better still, run forward onto the pass).

tackling = removing the ball from an opponent’s control legally.

crossing = playing the ball into the opponents goal area so one of your side can stick it in the net. (GOAAAAAAAAL!)

free kicks = dead ball restarts after a foul, particularly near an opponents goal. (The UK’s best player is David Beckham. He often scores by chipping the ball over a line of defenders and past the goalkeeper. He has scored from the half-way line in a match. Pure genius.)

You can practise trapping by yourself at home. Just kick a ball against a wall repeatedly. This teaches your brain how a ball bounces and spins, and where to put your foot to stop it or pass it. Like most English boys* of my generation, I did this as a kid about a million times. Even now, I can still control and pass the ball on with just one or two touches. Embeddeded motor reflexes!

(*this was 40 years ago. I’m delighted that girls now play.)

[Teacher/referee hat on]
Please feel free to cheer/encourage your team continuously from the sidelines (except when a penalty kick is being taken.) Applaud politely if the opposition score.

Show young people what sportsmanship is. As Kipling almost put it:
“If you can meet with triumph and disaster,
and treat those two imposters just the same,
then you’ll be a decent human being.”

Unfortunately there are some parents who think that shouting unending abuse at their child, the opposition and the referee is somehow appropriate.
I detest these bstrds.

[Teacher/referee hat off]

12

I was a soccer mom last year, and my advice is to bring a chair and a book to games. Snacks too. To me, watching sports is like watching paint dry. You should at least be comfortable and well fed. Look up often enough so you can cheer appropriately.

Watch the other moms. Some of those ladies are crazy. :smiley:

13

Wow, great stuff, guys! :smiley: This is exactly what I was looking for (well, except for the advice about mini-vans–you’re too late, people, we already have a '99 Dodge Caravan).

Yeah, we already bought her a regular size soccer ball. She took it out in the back yard and noodled around with it for a while, bouncing it off her knee, etc. I have no clue as to who she can practice with, except for Bonzo, and I dunno if he’d be caught dead teaching his kid sister to kick a soccer ball. Personages who have attained the exalted status of “High School Freshman” don’t normally associate with Little Girls, except to torture them by hiding their hairbrushes.

We already have the shin guards–Mrs. M. informed us briskly that Illinois High School Association rules require them. I was pleased to see that they’ve progressed beyond the “horse harness buckle on your legs” leather gear they had 30 years ago when I had soccer in junior high P.E. Now they’ve got nifty pull-over-the-foot stretchy foot-less kneesocks with shinguards in them.

And I was stunned to discover that brand-new cleats were only $19.99. I was expecting to pay (gulp) upwards of 50 bucks, but no. [privately resolving never to complain about everything being Made In China again]

14

Congratulations to your daughter on discovering the greatest sport on earth! (Well, aside from fencing anyway.) Just a friendly word of advice about the cleats, though. Not that it probably matters for a young 'un, seeing as how they grow so fast, but I’ve found that when I bought the cheaper ones, they only had about a one year life span and they were sheer hell on my feet and ankles. I finally broke down and bought a much more expensive pair when I hit college, and those lasted me for 6 years before I replaced them with another of the more expensive types, and they’ve lasted me three years and counting. So as she gets older and her feet stop growing, it may actually be worth it to spring for the $50 or $60 pair of cleats if she’s still playing a lot.

Not, of course, that you’ll likely remember this post in 10 years (or whatever it is), but still… :slight_smile:

15

She can improve her skills a great deal on her own:

-set up a slalom course with 5 or 6 cones; dribble through the cones, increase speed or decrease distance as skills improve. This will improve her dribbling speed and control a great deal.

-work on juggling. At first, she should just drop the ball from chest level and kick it back up to her hands before it hits the ground. As she improves she can start doing this with both feet. Then, kick the ball and let it bounce on the ground, then kick it again, ad infinitum. Once she feels comfortable with that, she should work on keeping the ball in the air using just her feet, as well as her knees, thighs, shoulders, and head once she’s comfortable. This exercise will improve her first touch on passes and make her much better at handling balls that are not rolling.

–mark off a square of wall with tape and stand 20-60 feet away. Work on kicking the ball into the square with both feet, in the air and on the ground, and on her first touch and after trapping it. This will improve her passing, shooting, and trapping.

16

Ok, everyone else has already said it, but I would also recomend lots of practice. I doesn’t take much space or time, but ball handling skills are a must.

It is great that she is in a non competitive league, but as you mentioned, she may be a bit behind the others skill wise. My 6 year old is already in her third season, and my 4 year old is in his second. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not some psycho “soccer dad,” but my kids love the game and beg to play. There may be some places that offer lessons in your area, which I think would be much better than books.

Above all else, encourage her to have fun. And be supportive. I wasn’t a jock, but I really think there are a lot of good life lessons to be learned from playing a team sport.

17

Thanks for the heads-up about cleats. Her feet are still growing, and it’s only an 8 week soccer season anyway, so I don’t expect her to be wearing the same cleats next year. That’s why I was so relieved to find I wasn’t going to have to drop 50 bucks on something she was only going to wear for 8 weeks.

She was thrilled to pieces to put them on this morning before school, and was annoyed when Bonzo pointed out, “You’re only supposed to wear those on the field,” thinking he was just jerking her chain with some esoteric “guy stuff” soccer folklore. I had to tell her, “No, sweetie, it’s like ballet shoes, you don’t wear them on pavement, just on the grass.” And then she was even more thrilled to have “special shoes”. Oooo, “special shoes…” :smiley:

After I dropped her off at practice this morning, I paused and took a gander at the other kids, at the formidable “boys”, and guess what? Instead of the group of hulking 6th, 7th, and 8th grade boys I was expecting, I saw a group of tiny and fiery 6th, 7th, and 8th grade boys.

And a great light dawned–“Ohhhhh, the big kids go out for basketball and the little kids go out for soccer…”

Duh.

So my unexpressed but deeply felt worries about Madame Le Princesse being shoved around by a group of brutes were evidently completely unfounded.

And actually, it looks like she could give most of 'em 10 pounds and a 5 yard head start…

18

Yes, of course, cause you never know when you need that capacity to hold an extra child and couple fo soccer balls. No other vehicle could handle such a load!

[sub]At least that’s the way it seems soccer moms must be thinking[/sub]

19

So my tiny, fiery daughter came up to my room this morning before school, sat down on the bed next to me, with her “shy and embarrassed” face on, and asked, “Mom?”

“Yes?”
“…do I have to keep doing soccer?”
“Good heavens, no!” I gave her a big hug. A look of enormous relief spread over her little face.
I asked, “Is it just too much running?” and she shrugged, smiling.
“It isn’t that somebody was ugly to you, is it? Or because you were a girl?”
She said, no, actually, there were now 6 girls (including her) going out for soccer. So I suspect some kind of Middle School inter-personal relations thing is also going on, but she looked so relieved that I didn’t pursue the matter further.

I told her that she doesn’t have to explain anything to Mrs. M., just that when she sees her this morning in homeroom (yeah, we had big budget cuts–they’ve got the librarian doing a homeroom), she can just tell her she doesn’t want to do soccer any more, she doesn’t have to say why.

So. Thanks, all, for the advice.

And next week I will go down to Play It Again Sports and sell them a pair of practically brand-new soccer cleats, worn only once…

20

This thread was all going so well I didn’t think I should interrupt the flow until Duck Duck Goose’s last post, but now…

Boo! This is a terrible attitude! If your kid was appearing in the school play would you take a magazine and a Walkman 'cos you didn’t like the theatre? You sound just like my mum when I started playing football all those years ago…

I agree that some parents can be crazy, though, which is also A Bad Thing. There can be few sadder sights than a kid’s expression when his dad and another kid’s dad are doing that gut-barging thing over a dodgy offside call :).