Hey, Thanks A Bunch To All My "Friends"

Thanks a bunch for all your congratulations when we bought our new house.

Thanks a bunch for all being quick to volunteer when we set a moving date for this Saturday.

Thanks a bunch for all making sure to show up last weekend when we wanted to take all our friends out for a celebratory dinner.

And now, thanks a whole fucking bunch, each and every one of you, for all backing out on the move this Saturday. Thanks…we really, really appreciate that.

Incidentally, next time you need a hand moving (you know, like I’ve done for each of you guys at least once, if not more), kindly go fuck yourself.

You got the “celebratory dinner” and “move” parts reversed, Hal.

Perhaps you should have had the dinner after the move?

Yeah – this was unimaginably dickish of your friends, but always hold the celebratory dinner after they’ve done the moving.

And don’t, whatever you do, pull what a friend of mine did. He called a goodbye barbecue on his last day in town… except it was actually a “packing party”. I didn’t mind helping him pack and load up their truck, but I would really have liked to know what I was signing up for!

I always get my friends to help me early in the morning and then take them out to dinner at the end of the day. They’ve never been too hungry to eat. :smiley:

I think I’d be pissed enough at this sort of behavior to say this to each and every one of their faces.

Maybe this is why I don’t have many friends. :dubious:



You just can’t trust those sheep, can you?


If they agreed to help and backed out, yes, that’s totally dickish. There is simply no excuse for that.

That said, there comes a point where you don’t ask people to help you move anymore–part of the price of the house is the cost of movers. I don’t know how old you are, but at some point, people’s backs get worse, their knees get worse, and soreness in general starts to last all week instead of just the next day. Plus, everyone has a lot more stuff.

I helped a lot of people move in my twenties. When you could fit everything in a mid-sized u-haul. Now that people have houses or much-more-packed apartments (or in my case, 25+ full bookcases) I wouldn’t dream of asking any of them to help me move. I don’t want to ask them to chose betwen wither turning me down and hurting themselves.

I’m with Manda Jo. There comes a point in our lives where you just need to consider hiring two men and a truck. IMO, helping people move ranks somewhere below water skiing. It used to be way more fun than it is now and the old back just can’t take it anymore.

Of course, since you’ve helped these people out on all their moves, they really should reciprocate. Shame on them.

Oh, and congratulations on your new house.

Actually, we are hiring movers – they’re coming on Monday. Saturday was going to be a matter of getting as many of the boxes over to the new place as possible so the movers can concentrate on the heavy stuff that none of us want to move anymore (yes, we are getting too old for this shit).

Well, we’re seeing if perhaps people will be available Sunday instead. We shall see…

Yes, I don’t even help myself move much less a friend. I’d sooner donate a kidney before I did that.

No idea the circumstances, but I can see one reason to buy dinner before the move. After buying a house you’re often pretty strapped for cash, so maybe you buy dinner when you have the cash beforehand, rather than stalling the friends for 2 weeks to have the cash. Unrelated to the OP, but a thought in some cases.

The tried and true, classic, always-works tack is to announce a free keg for anyone that helps load the U-Haul. Think of the guys you know that are up for “free” beer and they’re usually the kinds that have enough mass to move some heavy shit. Less than $70, in most cases, and you have a crew that will have the truck loaded before the keg is dry. No matter how much stuff you have. Just have your better half play bartender and lay the classic guilt-look on anyone not pulling his weight.

And I call bullshit on the age angle. Granted I’m 33 so by no means rate as a geezer, but if you’re under 50 you can help a friend move. And if it’s a friend, the keg shouldn’t be the dealbreaker. You help a buddy out. Dinner or beer is a bonus. I just cannot fathom not helping a friend out. Unless he’s banking serious coin and just wants to be cheap. In which case it better 2 kegs. :wink:

You do have the upper hand, though. If they are really friends that you plan on keeping, follow my 12 month rule. You’ve bought them dinner for a job they never performed. For the next 12 months you don’t have to help them in anything, even if it’s something as mundane as grabbing a socket for them while they’re under the car changing the oil. Or recovering their system from bad porn. Or getting the fire extinguisher when the deep-fried turkey ignites. It’s a bit liberating if you look at it in the right light.

And it sucks you can’t count on help a friend promised. I’ve been there, I know what it’s like. If I was anywhere near your neck of the woods I’d offer a hand. I love a moving party, provided there’s beer. Small consolation, but there it is.

By the way, while I don’t mind helping friends, I’ve already told my wife we are either hiring movers next time, or we’re including all our shit in the sale of the place. It seems that helping someone move is a bit recreational to me, but moving my own crap again is just too damn tedious for me to ever do again.

Whatever happens, hope it turns out, and congrats on the new house!

Yup, that was pretty rude of your friends.

I disagree on the age angle. I’m turning 40 this year, and I have moved my last friend/family member (we all went through big moves in the last couple of years, so now is the time to quit, when we’re all pretty even). I won’t be calling my friends and family for my next move, either. I’m simply not moving other people’s shit any more. They can all afford movers; we’re not broke college students any more. It’s a physical pain, and it’s a pain in the ass, when you show up and they aren’t even close to finished packing, so you get to do the work they should have had finished weeks ago, et freakin’ cetera. It just ain’t worth it for a couple of slices of pizza.

To all of the younger folks here that will help friends move in the future, the quoted section is known as a dealbreaker. In cases where a friend needs help moving, the moving part involves moving shit. Packing is a different matter and solely the responsibility of the person(s) moving.

In this scenario, my above beer rule is given an amendment. Or many. (Amend as anyone sees fit.)

“All boxes ready to be loaded on said truck shall be moved in an efficient manner, with liberal beer breaks to quench the thirst of said movers.”

“Shall the move take place in a time of cold weather (60 in Florida, -40 in North Dakota), the refreshments shall consist of Bailey’s and hot coffee, Hot Toddies, Peppermint Patty’s (if you’re a female), and some sort of cinnamon booze concoction. (If you actually live in North Dakota, it’s too cold to matter so beer is the default choice.)”

“Shall any attendees fail to fulfill their obligation of helping as previously promised, they shall be, for a period of no less than 12 months, ineligible for any assitance requested of you. This shall include tasks ranging from getting them a beer “as long as you’re heading for the fridge”, to kidney donation. This rule is in now way negotiable, and breaking this rule shall result in great bodily harm. And revocation, if male, of your Guy Card.”

There are many more, but I’ll stop here.

I’ve helped pack and move; people have helped me pack and move. Small places, mind you, and we all knew each other’s stuff well enough to pack it.


“if packing will be involved, mover-help must be told in advance; anything too delicate or dangerous to be packed by persons other than the owner (sharp knives, porn the wife doesn’t know about) must be packed before said persons arrive”
comf Hal

(be good to him, Guin! bad, bad Guin!)

Gotta admit. Sometime after Lady Chance and I left our twenties behind we announced to our pals (some of whom moved every year to keep the cheap intro rent) that we were out of the moving business. It was done for us. We loved them, we admired them, we wished them well. We just were tired of moving their stuff. We hired movers from well before that point and thought they could as well.

I stopped helping people move stuff once I had kids. All bets are off as to any Saturday being open enough to move anyone, including ourselves.

but it sucks that you were treated that way.

No offense, but the sheep thing is kinda worn out.

You took my joke!

We were once asked to help my husband’s friend move. It was a huge house (3 kids, basement full of kid shit) and lots of big, formal furniture.

We got there, case of beer in hand, and the guy’s wife said, “No drinking beer”. To which we replied, “No drinky…no movey.” Then we got downstairs to commence with the heavin’ and ho’in’ and NOTHING WAS PACKED. The floor was knee-deep in toys, clothes, bikes, etc. Her dishes weren’t packed and one wouldn’t have a clue that someone was actually planning to move that day.

We moved the heavy pieces, drank the beer, and left.

I’ve never had a real lot to move. I moved into Mr. K’s house, so it was like a 5 hour ordeal. However, when we finally leave here, it will be professional movers all the way. There’s just too much stuff. His garage is worth a professional move all on it’s own.

It’s not an age thing; it’s a time thing. Ain’t no way I’m giving up a precious weekend day to help anyone move (or build a fence, or paint their house). Face it, the only reason people need “help” doing this stuff is because they’re trying to save a buck. I’ ain’t giving up my weekend day because you don’t want to spend the money to hire someone.

It’s different when you’re all students. Sure, help each other out. But part of being a student is less money and more free time than those of us who work full time. Nowadays I can buy my own beer and pizza, thank you very much, and not have to carry heavy things while I do it.

The only thing the OP has to stand on is that if he has indeed helped these people in the past, then they do owe him. Bastards! But other than that, people need to learn that there is no obligations for your friends to help you move.

And you’ve already paid them, right? :smiley: