Hi everyone: I am new here, and just spent an hour reading all the rules. I think I got this. I arrived at this site when I did a search for sick dogs. One of the poster’s posted about how her old dog was having problems, she brought him to the vet, and he had to be put down. I have an old sick dog named Ollie. He was my Mom’s dog for many years. My Mom passed away last November, and I have had Ollie since. Because I am upset with my whole family (long story), and my husband is an ass, I have no support system. Then I found this site, and thought, ah what the hell. I was up half the night with Ollie. He is on heart meds, but he had a seizure last night. He seems o.k. and pretty happy, most of the time. When he coughs he sounds like he has a 3 pack a day habit. I am bringing him to the doggie hospital tomorrow, and having x-rays done. I am very sad, he is the only link I have to the past, i.e. my mom, my siblings, some friends, etc. Now I fear I will have to let him go too. I am very depressed over this, so if any of you posters out there believe in the power of prayer, or the power of positive thinking, please think of me and Ollie. If you have gotten this far reading my first post, thank you.
Good luck to you both.
Hi and welcome, delsina. I’ll send some good thoughts your way for you and Ollie.
(Your OP was good - my only gentle suggestion would be to not be afraid of putting hard returns in after a sentence or two for ease of reading. )
You and Ollie are both in my thoughts.
Glad you felt to share … I lost my mother back in 1982 and I had no one to talk to just one phone call from her sister and then I was all alone with my thoughts.
Remember the good times and forget the bad … you will meet again in heaven.
Heaven has a place like an old Shakey’s pizza parlor a place where you get to meet all of the nice people that helped you get there and all of the nice people that you helped along the way too.
and Ollie might even be there too … you be a good dog Ollie delsina needs you.
praying and believing God won’t forget you in your time of need
I’m so sorry to hear of your troubles. It’s very sad to see your pets lives winding down. Heartbreaking actually.
I’ve been through it a few times, as have most people, but it never gets any easier, it seems. You have my very deepest sympathies.
Welcome to the Dope, I hope things get better for you and for Ollie. I know it can be hard to bear up but just remember that there are genuinely good people (some of them are even here… ) out there wishing you well. Incidentally if anyone offers you ice cream on the forum here you probably shouldn’t accept. Read a few post intros and you will immediately understand why.
Welcome, delsina363, and I want to take a moment to thank YOU for taking the time to read the guidelines. I’m sorry about your troubles, and you’ll find lots of sympathy here for family problems, husband-is-an-ass problems, and elderly/sick pets winding down as well.
That said, I hope we can maybe cheer you up a bit!
Oh, and if you have digital pictures of your Ollie, please feel free to share them with us.
A few things:
When the right people hit this thread (and they will), you’ll get all kinds of support and helpful info, too. I responded to a thread about Old Dog Vestibular Disease, just to learn something that might help my mutts someday, and picked up all kindsa tidbits and as a result, my panic button was turned down about 20 notches, and I’m thankful for that.
Tell us more about Ollie. You may find it will really brighten your day when people take an interest in your critter. Send a pic or two.
Just a thought: A good way to perk up and extend the life of an older dog is to get an additional, younger dog to join the pack. Not necessarily a puppy, mind you. There are thousands of K9s in shelters everywhere that would fit nicely into your (and Ollie’s) lifestyle (Not suggesting you adopt a thousand dogs :D). Now, brace yourself–it will also make things easier for you when Ollie eventually crosses the Rainbow Bridge. Your auxiliary dog will need comfort, too, and that’s a good way to channel off some of your bad feelings.
Keep us in the loop. And have patience with us; some of us are still learning to write English goodly. :smack:
Thank you everyone. I cannot believe how nice you all are. Just to give you some backround information.
My Mom was diagnosed with dementia, and was living alone. After a steep decline, I asked my siblings (all 6) for help. Her equilibrium was off and she was still using the stove.
None of my siblings would help me. I called them frantically, begging them. Most ignored me, and some said I was lying. (4 Live Out of State).
This fall, while my Mom was out alone, she had a bad fall, and never recovered, passing away in November. Only one of them said they were sorry, they should have listened to me. I do not think I can ever forgive the rest.
I ended up with the task of cleaning out her apartment, having a memorial luncheon, etc. I also got her faithful dog Ollie.
Ollie has been the only thing keeping me sane. I feel responsible for my Moms passing, and now after only four months, I am going to lose him.
My heart and instincts tell me that I will probably not be bringing Ollie home tomorrow.
If I did not have two great daughters (ages 12 and 13) I would welcome, with open arms, a nervous breakdown.
That is my tale of woe. Thank you for reading.
I won’t be popular for saying so but you don’t have to put Ollie down just because the vet says there is nothing they can do.
I went through something similar, first my dog, then a few months later, my MIL (also in my home,I was her primary caregiver, 6yrs!) when my cat developed some tumours and issues the vet said ‘nothing they could do’ and suggested putting her down. But I just couldn’t face it. I felt it would turn my home into ‘the house of death’, somehow! When I inquired why it had to be now, I was told a lot of ‘such and such COULD happen’!
I talked to my husband and said I was prepared to jump into a cab and pay the fee at the emergency animal clinic, should she begin to exhibit any pain. But I wasn’t going to just put her down! He wisely said ‘okay then!’
I took her home, and she lived another almost 6 months! Only in the last week did she require help getting up and down from chairs etc. I was keeping close watch on her, of course. She had a brief and mild seizure and two minutes later died in my arms.
I was so very glad I didn’t do as the vet recommended! ( and yes I recognize I could have been racing cross town in the middle of the night and paying a big fee at the emerg the very day after I saw the vet!)
Never forget, it’s your choice to make, don’t be afraid to do what you feel is right for you!
(I never share this story with anyone. Partly because I know most people would disagree strongly with my actions, and partly I don’t want anyone to think, hmmm, I wonder if couldn’t have chosen that for my pet?)
Maybe if you hear it often enough, you’ll start to believe it - you were not responsible for your mom’s passing. You wanted to do more, and if given more time, you would have probably found a way to get it done.
You’re popular with me; I agree with you 100%.
Sounds to me like you’re still mourning your mother, feeling guilty about her, and now you’re worried about losing Ollie, which is yet another tie to your mother. And you’re getting no support at all from your siblings. That’s a lousy place to be.
We can be fairly supportive here and we’ll do what we can. I like the idea of adopting a rescue dog. A friend of mine says hugging a dog is a really good thing to do when you’re down. But maybe you need to talk to a professional too?
With that SD handle, it’s no wonder!
What can I say? Mutts gotta burp!
Holy shit, no wonder you’re pissed off at your siblings. (If it helps at all, you don’t have to forgive them today, and you don’t have to communicate with them today; tomorrow will take care of itself.) I’m so sorry for the world of hurt you’ve found yourself in … though I’m glad you found us!
May I suggest seeing if there’s a grief support group in your area for folks who have lost a parent? When my husband died last year I very, ***very **reluctantly dragged myself to one for widows and was astonished at how helpful it was to be with people who understand the very unique brand of pain I was (am) in. So I wonder if something like that would be helpful for you as well – people who are walking a similar path as you are now. If you need help finding one and are comfortable sharing some general details about your location we’d be happy to help you.
- Doesn’t have to be terribly specific, but it’s of little use for me to send you contact info for a Texas group if you live in New Zealand, for example.
Let us know what the vet at the doggie hospital has to say about Ollie, if you want to share. Feel free to vent about your husband if you need to get something off your chest. Go to the current long-ass jokes thread for some laughs. We’ll help you get through this, as best as we can.
delsina, welcome to the boards. We are happy to have you join us.
First, my hopes and wishes for Ollie’s comfort. I hope he is able to be with you for a while longer.
Second, my hugs and comfort to you. Though it is hard to believe, you are not responsible for your mother’s situation. It is important, however, to recognize that you tried to help her and you did help her as much as you were able. Caring folks always worry that they weren’t doing enough, but clearly it is your siblings who let you and your mother down. Not you.
With so much to do, it sounds like you haven’t had an opportunity just be still and mourn your mother. That sucks, but mourning comes - sometimes in bits and pieces and sometimes all at once. It has been 18 months since my mother died and suddenly, I find myself crying a lot. And I know it is about here. I insulated myself at the time just so I could go on doing what needed to be done. Just try to take it as it comes and be moved.
Best of luck and good health to you and Ollie. Enjoy the boards. The folks here are lifesavers. And their puns are the best/worst thing around.
Wewlcome to the Straight Dope, Delsina. The world doesn’t have enough people like you who love their animals and care about their aged loved ones. Please goi easy on yourself over your mother’s death. You are not responsible in any way.
I hope Ollie pulls through and you have more good times together. You just inherited a huge group of caring friends here. Post often, please.