Hi, I would like to tell you about Jesus Christ, the only way to God

[Patx2]

@RivkahChaya

I opened this up because I thought it was going to be a funny rant about missionaries coming to the door. I had a sinking feeling when I saw the join date. Skimmed it anyway. Oh well.

I did and thought the same.

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

Anything to do with Sheep on the SDMB is Hal Briston’s territory.

[RivkahChaya]

@Acsenray

Jacqueline, your god sounds oetty and vindictive. Why should I admire him?

I have no idea what “Oetty” means, and yet, it sums up my feelings about Jesus perfectly.

[FoieGrasIsEvil]

@John_Mace

And that’s the Father, Son and Holy Ghost right there!

:D:D:D:D:D
Brilliant timing. And there’s some irony there, with a former moderator and 50k post count holder being modded by a newbie moderator over, in my view, a trivial remark.

I do get the preservation attempt to encourage new posters however. We need some new blood around here.

[running_coach]

@bobot

Don’t forget about people that live in places where they simply have never heard of Jesus, Hellbound the lot of 'em. Praise the Lord!

Actually, if they’ve never heard of Jesus, they get a pass. So missionaries are doing them no favor.

Inclusivism is the belief that salvation is only through Jesus Christ, but that there may be persons who are saved without knowing it. They are redeemed by the person and work of a Christ they do not consciously embrace. Simply put, Jesus may save some who never hear of him.

[BeepKillBeep]

@Little_Nemo

To be fair to her pastor, he may have made those suggestions. And the OP may have said, “No, I was looking for a ministry from God that requires as little effort as possible. You got anything I can do in around five minutes while sitting in a chair in my own home?”

LOL Good point.

[Enginerd]

Ah, Jesús. I like him very much. But he no help with the curveball.

[neofishboy]

Ah I see you’ve placed your faith in Jobu. You’ll find no help there. Better to do it yourself.

[Princhester]

Oh Og why hast thou forsaken us? Why dost thou allow this heretic to post here about untrue gods?

Have we posted too many jokes in GQ and our debates not been great? Have our opinions not been humble and our sharing insufficiently mundane and pointless?

Og smash, I implore thee.

[Typo_Negative]

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

[running_coach]

Why does God need a computer?

[snfaulkner]

@running_coach

Why does God need a computer?

For PR0N, just like the rest of us.

[Two_Many_Cats]

I can’t believe nobody’s posted this yet. So I will.

(Clears throat)

“HAW HAW!”

Thank you.

[ThelmaLou]

@DesertDog

Call me prejudiced but I doubt we’ll be hearing from Ms Deane again.

Yeah, there was just the one post. :dubious:

[begbert2]

@ThelmaLou

Yeah, there was just the one post. :dubious:

I don’t know why you’re surprised - given the utterly unreceptive audience they found here, it wouldn’t surprise me if they came back to the thread, read three comments, and then crossed themselves and fled never to return.

That sort of thing has happened to me in real life a couple of times; why think it wouldn’t happen here?

[running_coach]

@begbert2

I don’t know why you’re surprised - given the utterly unreceptive audience they found here, it wouldn’t surprise me if they came back to the thread, read three comments, and then crossed themselves and fled never to return.

That sort of thing has happened to me in real life a couple of times; why think it wouldn’t happen here?

If she had come back, it would have shown in her “last activity” time. She didn’t even wait to see the first response.

[GIGObuster]

@Annie-Xmas

So anyone who doesn’t accept Jesus Christ is going to hell? Jews, Muslims, atheists, agnostics? What about gay Christians? Or female pastors?

Toby the Devil [To all Christians that are arriving in hell]: “Ah yes, I’m sorry, I’m afraid the Jews were right!”

Rowan Atkinson Live - The devil Toby welcomes you to hell

[Princhester]

@running_coach

If she had come back, it would have shown in her “last activity” time. She didn’t even wait to see the first response.

No time, no time. Must rack up points by flinging tracts as fast as possible. When she arrives at the pearly gates, the tract flinging count is a major KPI. What gets measured gets done!

[Yllaria]

@Czarcasm

And for all it’s worth to you to save our souls, you can’t be bothered to spent a single minute to find out.
Thanks for your “concern”. :rolleyes:

To be fair, from the way she describes it, the OP’s driving burden sounds like the equivalent of needing to pee really badly. Sometimes you don’t have time to check if there’s any toilet paper first.

[Backwater_Under_Duck]

Mock him all you will, but Jesus Will Survive. Or not.