Je-sus? Never heard of him. Can you explain more about this Jesus?
Don’t forget Oolon Colluphid’s other books in his “trilogy of philosophical blockbusters”:
- Where God Went Wrong
- Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes
“5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.
8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.”(bolding mine)
Got the hint the first time, Shodan.
On the upside I don’t lack enough wisdom to want to ask a sky fairy about it, so I guess I’m not double-minded and unstable!
And perhaps due to having the screed deleted for them the remnants of the OP are perhaps the first time I’ve felt a unadulterated pity for a god-botherer. It must suck to have a belief system that fills you with desperation and suffering.
For in much wisdom is much grief, and he that increaseth knowledge also increaseth sorrow.
My sister-in-law’s brother’s aunt’s uncle’s nephew’s niece saved 100,000 souls in her spare time by witnessing from home! goo.gl/2S32hC
A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
And his final book:
- Well, That Just About Wraps It Up For God
Who is this Omnipotent One who can gaze upon the words of Jesus, and putting forth his hand upon the keyboard, he causeth the words to vanish from the Earth, yea, as though they never were? For verily, this is a fearsome power. So sayeth Job unto the Lord: “I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.” – Job 42:2
[Why you keep calling me Jésus? I look Puerto Rican to you?
Guy back there called you Jésus.
He didn’t say Jésus. He said, “Hey, Zeus!” My name is Zeus.
Zeus?
Yeah, Zeus! As in, father of Apollo? Mt. Olympus? Don’t fuck with me or I’ll shove a lightning bolt up your ass? Zeus! You got a problem with that?
No, I don’t have a problem with that.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BquyQj8TX_w)
He was one of the Alou brothers, baseball stars ~50 years back.
To be fair to her pastor, he may have made those suggestions. And the OP may have said, “No, I was looking for a ministry from God that requires as little effort as possible. You got anything I can do in around five minutes while sitting in a chair in my own home?”
Anyone willing to give odds that the OP was the first and last we hear of this poster.
Last activity was the same time as the OP.
Who knew actual witnessing would be so hard?
I’ve been praying on it.
Og willing…?
~d&r~
Amy Farrah Fowler
Yea, I kinda wanted to play along, but there’s no fish in this barrel.
To be fair, the OP explicitly said they were troubled about people going to hell. Helping people eat or live happy lives doesn’t keep them from going to hell; the only way to stop them from going to hell is to preach at them. I mean, preach really hard, to get past all that demon-worshiping they’re clearly doing. Helping at a soup kitchen doesn’t scratch that itch.
Fire-and-forgetting some copy-pasted message apparently does - and by never returning they can imagine that the thread is full of everyone suddenly seeing the light and praising the lord and thanking the OP for extending the hand of salvation. I mean, in all seriousness, that must be what they expect to happen - otherwise why post it?
Don’t forget about people that live in places where they simply have never heard of Jesus, Hellbound the lot of 'em. Praise the Lord!