I was immediately reminded of a story named Pleased to Meat You; about using cloned human meat as food.
I disagree with your beef. It’s just a message board; nothing important is at steak. Don’t be chicken, just ham it up a little. And when you see a pun coming–duck!
Every time someone says “I don’t believe in sentient meat”, a piece of sentient meat somewhere falls over dead.
You should be sheepish after all that.
Are you Sweeney Todd’s landlord?
Don’t let him get your goat, you silly goose. 
Like I said, all the good puns are taken.
I’ll take it on the lamb.
Can ewe guys stop with all the terrible puns, please?
I would go with Meat, the Spammer.
Band name!
shakes tiny, impotent fist at Giraffe
There is no meat in Spam. It is made from pigs arseholes.
Oh, well placed comma, is there nothing you can’t tweak?
Let’s try it -
It is made from pigs, arseholes.
Well, that’s rude!
I write the spam that makes the Mods’ heads spin.
I write the spam that makes Dopers log in.
I write the spam that gets spammers banned
I write the spam, I write the spam.
Oh, my spam may make you mad
But is a Rolecks really bad?
And I spammed for V1AGR@
So you can groove.
You can grow a certain body part
Get a Ph.D. and a fresh start.
It’s from me, it’s for you; it’s for you and from me–
And it’s carried via TCP/IP…
Spoons, I love it. Nothing like a parody of a Barry Manilow cover of a Bruce Johnston song for a 4th of July holiday weekend earworm.
My spamshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they’re like,
It’s better than yours,
Damn right it’s better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge
It was great fun writing it, and thanks for giving me a good start. But man! The earworm!