Hi sis, oh, BTW , I got married

I got an email from one of my (many) siblings
yesterday. I haven’t heard from her in a few months.

She emails me to say Happy Easter, and adds the news that she got married on March 7th.

Now she waits until April 23 to tell me, and then informs me that she hasn’t told the rest of the family yet either. And adds she will let me do that !

Since I am the eldest child, I think I will ground her or something. I know she is grown (38/39) but still, these kids drive me nuts somedays.


“Ayesha, Who can bend minds with her spoon” sig. by WallyM7 profile by UncleBeer, thanks guys.

Voted SDMB Biggest Flirt (Female) and Least Shy

My best friend did something similar to me when she married. She actually eloped to Niagara Falls, the Canadian side. I knew they were taking the trip, but didn’t find out about the marriage until after the fact. The amusing thing is she accuses me all the time of not telling her things. Now when she does, I just sort of arch an eyebrow and say “Niagara Falls, you lose this argument forever.”

Ugh. My husband’s mother did much the same thing. We came home to an answering machine message saying, “Hope you had a nice weekend, blah blah blah, by the way, I got married, blah blah blah, bye.”

Sorry it happened that way Ayesha–I know that it’s very upsetting!

I have a friend who went to Jamaica for a vacation. When he got home I asked him how his trip was. He replied ‘great I got married!’


Thanks for the smile this morning.
How do you feel about doing someone you don’t know?

Please, please, please (on my knees) please, please ~~ originally posted by GolfWidow

Your family sounds familiar to me Ayesha. I’m not the oldest but have always been given the pleasure of passing on news, good and bad, then hearing… you always give me bad news.

You can’t beat them. Perhaps she should forward some of those wedding gifts to you for your taking on the role of Announcement Girl.


Give your children these two things: One is roots, the other, wings - Wally Wally He’s our Man

My own Mother got married about a year ago, to someone we’d never met. What’s even more swell is that she didn’t even call, or e-mail. We got a printed announcement, with no personal note at all. And she had hi’ed herself off to England, with no forwarding address. It’s taken me a year to get over the hurt of this, and my trust in her has been destroyed.

I guess the moral here is to realize that those who love you are emotionally connected, and changes like these do have an impact on them. Whirlwind love aside, realize that what you do affects others.

Okay, confession time. I didn’t tell my parents I was pregnant until almost the eighth month. And since I was too chickenshit to do it by phone, I wrote them a letter, which they got two days before my son was born, and oh yeah, I’d gotten married since the letter. They found out about that when my husband called from the hospital.

My justification was that my 18 year old sister had a baby the previous year, and my parents had to raise the baby since my sister was in no position to do so. I was seriously considering putting my baby up for adoption, since we were very young (both 20) and were not exactly known for our maturity. Knowing my mother, there was no way she would allow a baby to be adopted out of our family and I didn’t want her to have to raise my child, too.

Finally, I decided that I could somehow make it work and wrote the letter. As for the marriage, we were going to wait until one day we just woke up and decided to do it. Did I mention we were not the most mature people at the time? Thank god we’ve managed to make things work! Everyone is happy, and all has been forgiven.

Wow! She wasn’t writing NOW just to get a gift or something, was she?

My step-brother (someone I once dated [we’re not blood related, folks, so don’t go there]) and I have been friends almost 20 years and I didn’t get invited to his wedding or even TOLD about it until after the fact. Guess what? They expected me to send a gift!

I was so angry that I didn’t even send my best wishes, even though I did wish them this in my heart. I guess what really made me mad was the attitude of, “Well, you’re not good enough to invite but you are good enough to send us something.”

I would have sent them the finger but I like it attached to my hand.

But enough about MY bitch. So, what’s the story with her? She ashamed or just clueless or ??? And as far as leaving it to YOU to tell everyone; that’s her deal, not yours. It’s not your job to run the family newspaper!


Best!
Byz

Voted most sex obsessed. (Yeah, blow me smart ass!)

I’ve got a good one. One day my day my dad comes to visit. He sits me and my sisters down and says “guess what? I got married and you have a 3 week old brother.” we ask why he didn’t tell us and the reason is that “its not the kind of thing you say over the phone.” Oh, ok…


Life Before Death. Why wait?

lunasea,

Hmmm, sounds kind of like how i found out about my step-mom and 2 baby sister.

Byz,

You always make me laugh. They expected a gift ? hmmm, ya know I found a great site to shop for gifts like that.
http://www.dogdoo.com

I didn’t expect to be invited, but it would have been nice to know about it before hand.

Heck I have no idea what her deal is, maybe because this is # 3 for her ?
And you are right about the family newspaper thing, heck I don’t how how to contact half of my family anyway.

tatertot,

ok I can buy the young thing, but this girl ( I call my sisters the girls, I have no idea why, probably something left over from childhood) is almost 39. And has 5 kids.

elelle,

That is awful ! That had to hurt. I’m so sorry. I’ll adopt you if you want me to.

Sue,

Since no one knew I doubt there were or will be gifts ! OK I can’t beat them, can I ground them. I told my mother her children are driving me insane

Ang,

Wow, so did he know the bride before he left or did he meet her there ?

Green Bean,

I’m not too upset, I knew she and this guy had been living together, and were discussing marriage. I’m just disappointed that she didn’t let me know before they did it. I bet your husband was so pleased :rolleyes:

Otto,

Hmmm, yeah it sounds like she will never get away with that one again


“Ayesha, Who can bend minds with her spoon” sig. by WallyM7 profile by UncleBeer, thanks guys.

Voted SDMB Biggest Flirt (Female) and Least Shy

My husband’s mother had been “engaged” and living with this guy for years. In fact, they were “engaged” when I met my husband, and still “engaged” by the time we got married 2.5 years later. By that time, nobody actually expected her to get married to this guy, because they had been putting it off for so long. So, it was kind of a surprise when they actually did get hitched.

My husband was not too terribly upset. He had long since reconciled himself to strange behavior from his mother. His sister, though, was crushed. My husband’s sister and mother had a very strained relationship that they were trying to rebuild. (My husband’s parents went through a very nasty divorce with all the attendant problems. So there are all kinds of hurts and tensions there.) When her mother got married without telling/inviting her, it reinforced the idea that her mother didn’t care about her.

To echo elelle’s point, this kind of stuff can really affect your friends/family in a big way.

And my mother-in-law’s new husband was upset because nobody made a big deal about “welcoming him into the family.” Well, nobody likes him (understatement!) so their secret marriage was actually a blessing for the rest of us. We didn’t have to go through the whole rigamarole of pretending to be happy at the wedding. :slight_smile:

My husband and I eloped. But, I did tell my immediate family before I did it. My family likes my husband, so I knew they’d be okay with it, but I also know that they would have had me drawn and quartered for not telling them about it.

When we got back from our “vacation,” there was a message on my answering machine from one of my uncles, telling us that he was having a small birthday party for his daughter, and he hoped we’d get back in time to make it. We did, and that was where we told the rest of the family that we’d gotten married. It was funny. The party was at a restaurant, so we were able to sit at the table with our hands hidden for quite a while, while we ate & chatted. One of my other uncles asked us “So, how was your vacation?” My reply: “Oh, it was nice. Didn’t do much of anything, really. Ate, slept in, visited with Tim’s family, got married. No big deal.” There was silence for about two seconds, then there was much joy.

We eloped because a) we didn’t have a whole lot of money, b) I had been married once before and didn’t feel like doing the huge wedding again, and c) between us, we already had enough to start a home with, so we didn’t need gifts.

My mom has been living with her SO for almost six years now. They’re actually engaged, but they just haven’t gotten around to getting married yet. My mom says it’s for tax reasons, because Mike (her SO) is self-employed, and it’ll just mess everything up. I didn’t used to buy that one, then I married a self-employed musician. I understand her reasoning now. They’ll get married eventually, I’m sure, but they’ll probably wait until Mike retires, which won’t be too much longer, since he’s almost 60. My mom did the extremely low-key wedding when she married my dad (she’d already given birth to me & my sister by then, so having a big wedding was not appropriate for her back then, in 1968). If she doesn’t do a big wedding this time, I’ll be really honked off. I know she wants it. :slight_smile:


Cristi, Slayer of Peeps

I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.

(title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!)

Well, six weeks after my maternal grandmother died, my grandfather eloped.

With a woman none of us had ever met before.

Whom he’d gotten through the personal ads.

That he wanted my mother to call “Mom”.

I was only eight at the time, but knew something was completely screwy with that.

Ayesha,

I feel for you, my sisters drive me nuts too with their oh-by-the-way announcements.

When I was 15 and living at home, we moved again, into another apartment. The guy that I knew my mom had been seeing brought his stuff by too. When I asked what was going on, my mom told me that they had gotten married some 3 months previously. It was not my business, so she felt no need to tell me. Nor was the fact that she was several months pregnant my business, so again she only told me when I pressed her about it. I was asked to leave home a few months later. So much for high school.

Ah, hell. This is bringing up more stuff for me, and I’m sure it would bore the tears from you guys.

Ayesha, you are not alone in having an ‘interesting’ family. I have yet to ever meet The Brady Bunch IRL.

I currently engaged. It was about a six weeks before I got around to telling anyone. I don’t imagine I will tell anyone in my family before I actually get married. Its not that I want to hide it from them, but rather that I don’t really see how it is anybody’s business.

I don’t want to seem too inflammatory but isn’t it kind of selfish to expect your family members to inform you before they take any major changes. But then I don’t really understand “familial obligation.” I love my mother dearly, and she’s the only person in my family I would go out of my way to talk to.


-Obfus