My cousin Chris, in KY got married Saturday. The rest of the family found out about it today.
Now normally, I like my cousin, he’s my favorite cousin, and back in the days when I was engaged, he was going to be the best man. But WTF is this running off and getting married and not telling anyone until almost a week after the fact?
Plus, no one in my family down there likes his new wife. They didn’t like her when they were just dating, and now they hate her. Chris is 24, already once divorced (his ex royally screwed him), Lisa (the new wife) is 31, 3 kids each by a different husband, divorced 3 times. I’ve only met Lisa 3 or 4 times and don’t personally have anything against her, but this is just stupid IMO.
Why the sudden rush to run off and get married and then not tell anyone? Chris mom found out from a friend of hers at work after Chris popped in this morning and said something. How fucked-up of a way is that to find out your son got married?
Well, this is the big family gossip this week I guess. It’s gonna be a cold Thanksgiving in Cayce, KY this year.
<snort> Froggy is the most romantic guy in…Whoa! Where did that parallel universe come from?
Leave 'em alone, Froggy. Stupid, yes. Your business, no. Besides, if you’re the only one that doesn’t say anything, when he’s twice-divorced by 25 AND paying child support for kid #4, you’ll be the one he comes to. Then you can rub his nose in it.
Now when did I say I was gonna do anything about it? I’m in St Louis, he’s a 3 and a half hour drive away. I realize there’s nothing I can do, but it’s still surprising since I was just down there over Halloween, spent the weekend and his place and he never mentioned that he was even considering it.
(Plus the fact that we were supposed to be the Best Man at each other’s weddings kinda stings a little.)
And I’ll have you know, when I was down there a couple weeks ago, other cousins of mine asked me to talk to him about possibly dumping her because they didn’t like her and everyone thought he would listen to me. I told them no. So, yes, I do know how to mind my own business.
I’m all for romance and everything, but to be married for nearly a week and not tell anyone in your family? That just doesn’t seem fair to the rest of the family to me. If he wants to run off and get married despite everyone else’s advise, fine, but at least be a man about it and tell your family yourself instead of having them find out from co-workers out of the blue one day.
Blah, blah, blah. Don’t you know I was just posting because I’m bored? Since your welcome newbie thread went downhill I’ve been adrift. I don’t really care about your cracker cousin.
Sounds like you got it under control, Froggy. And yes, that is kinda harsh for him to not tell anyone, but if he’s not totally dumb, he KNOWS how they all feel about her. Mighta figured no one would show up for a wedding anyway. Again, I’m kind of a “let’s all live our own lives” person. He did it the way he wanted to. Hopefully.
And that’s not a “you’re so nosy” implication. Just stating my thoughts.
Sucks on the best man thing. I’ve been a best man before (and have another coming up. I look DAMN good in a tux.) and know it’s a barrel of kicks, plus an honour. Break a beer bottle over his head for that one.
Frog, maybe he didn’t tell anyone because he knew you all hated her.
I debated a similar, equally stupid, move. He’s going to pull down a pile of sh… um, non good stuff.
[sub]I’m working on not swearing. I’m serious. Dan, Le Sang, stop laughing, both of you. [/sub] Anyway, being human maybe he wanted a week more peace. Maybe he wanted to remove the chance for his family to try to adjust his decision.
So, yea, he’s an idiot. Learning through experiance will commence. (My opinion is that he already knows its wrong, and knew it to begin with.)
Ok, I’ll make a new thread just so you don’t get bored. BTW - IIRC in the Welcome Wagon thread, you said you are “a female of child bearing years” So a female best-man? Interesting. I think there’s a thread that mentions that somewhere. I should find the link so you can see the pic of me in my orange-velvet paisley tuxedo jacket I wore at my sister’s reception. (She dared me, she didn’t think I had the balls to do it.) I wore the regular tux while the professional photographer was there (didn’t want to look goofy in her official wedding pix), but once he left, I switched jackets. It’s not a good pic of me, but it’s a good pic of the jacket.
I know that when Chris and I got engaged we didn’t tell his family for about 2 months because of the reaction you are having right now. We even went so far as to put my engagment ring in my pocket when we went to visit. It was very hurtful that they didn’t like me very much. He of course the baby in the family was much protected from “hussys” like me.
Where it seems rash that they got married, but if your family really didn’t like her, do you think she wanted to go through an engagement with these feelings for her? I know I would have just gotten the marriage over and done with. Then after the fact I would feel guilty enough not to tell family.
I think you should just try to accept her to the family. She is there now for better or worse. It is a horrible feeling not being liked by your husbands family.
“Swear me, Kate,
like a lady as thou art,
A good mouth-filling oath”
–King Henry IV, Act 3, Scene i
Alternately, you could just come to California for Thanksgiving and say the hell with the family, as I’ve previously urged you…
Re the OP, I really hope it does work out. It does not sound good, however.
