I found your message board by searching, well… Message boards.
Do you welcome newbies? Is there an intro forum I missed? What does it cost if I love it here and can’t tear myself away and want to really belong?
Welcome. Browse the forums, and when you find a thread of interest, dive on in. Unless you are one of those 9/11 Truthers we’ve been getting lately. Then you need to go to Great Debates and expound your theories in a trusting and accepting enviironment.
Welcome. Initiations are in Room 32B. Down the hall, turn right, 3rd door on the left. Just walk in, don’t make any sudden movements, it makes the squid nervous. The welcoming committee will be there in 15 minutes. Hope you brought chocolate.
Very much so!
No, but you’re probably in the right place to start. If you haven’t already done so, I’d look at some of the stickies in this forum: the Registration Agreement, the etiquette guidelines, and maybe this beginner’s guide to commonly used terms and in-jokes.
You can post here for free for as long as you want. You can also get a few extra features and view the board without ads if you join as a member, for $14.95 per year.
Great! Thanks. I don’t know what a 9-11 Truther is so I’m probably not one. Maybe I’ll visit that forum and find out.
I’m pretty much a bleeding heart liberal, more excited about today’s events and the coming 4 years than I’ve been in a very long time and I don’t have any chocolate. I’m on a freaking diet.
Still welcome?
You can see a little 9-11 Truthing going on in Great Debates right now (warning: reading this stuff may give you a headache), and there’s an Inauguration watching thread in MPSIMS.
So yes, I think you’re still ok. 
OK, question I didn’t see an answer to in those links… Rules on profanity? Is it rude to call a poster and idiot but not to call their position idiotic? Just want to be clear and stuff.
Personal insults of any kind aren’t allowed, except in The BBQ Pit, where pretty much everything goes. You definitely shouldn’t call another poster an idiot during an argument. Calling an argument idiotic might be pushing it, depending on how you do it. There’s some commentary in Great Debates about that.
That’s all in the registration agreement, which is quite long and therefore is frequently skimmed or entirely skipped, but which we recommend you read anyway because you’ll be held to it. Grab a cup of coffee and get to it.
Short version: Don’t be a jerk. Don’t call people names anywhere except the BBQ Pit. Profanity is not prohibited but be judicious; it’s polite to keep it out of thread titles everywhere except the Pit. The arguments in Great Debates are pretty formal, albeit according not to the terms of debate as defined in the real world, but an idiosyncratic style that has evolved over the years, so start in that forum by posting carefully and reading thoroughly. Don’t wish death or harm on another poster anywhere, even the Pit, under any circumstances. Don’t post opinions, especially political opinions, in General Questions; that forum is intended to be as “factual” as possible, and is not for ideological argumentation.
There’s more, but those are the most common land mines on which noobs find themselves inadvertently treading. Definitely read the registration agreement, sooner rather than later.
ok, You’re scarin’ me man! I did skim, yes I admit it, I skimmed the registration stuff… More like a cursory read (more than I usually do). I’m not new to debates or message boards and would never threaten anyone with death or insult their children… Those are the nono’s I’m accustomed to. I come from a board, however, where snark is the flavor of every day, and I enjoy witty snark but don’t want to be a persona non grata here!
We explain a lot of things, but it’s not that complicated. Your common sense should be good enough, and Cervaise’s advice is good.
Witty snark is welcome though in varying degrees depending on forum. For instance, joke answers are frowned upon in General Questions until the question has been answered. Just browse the forums and pay attention to the culture of each, you’ll pick it up. You really need to screw up big time to get a moderators official attention, most missteps, you will just get a “that’s not done here” mentioned and no harm done.
Hello HolyFreakingMoly, be welcome, enjoy your stay. 
Don’t get me wrong, we love snark here. We especially love wit (real wit, not just sarcasm). And if you can demonstrate mastery of the art of witty snark while not running foul of any of the rules, then not only will you not be persona not grata here, you will be enshrined in our pantheon, and granted admittance to our limitless harem of sexual supplicants.
Or maybe you’ll get an attaboy or two, and perhaps a threadspotting berth. Whatever.
Oh come on, I do actually have limits man. I’m getting exausted and kind of sticky over here.
Anyway, a noob with the foresight to ask before letting loose is already off on a better footing than most new posters and some of the older ones too. You’ll be fine here.
Cool. I think I’m gonna like it here! I see people with brains! I likes that! I can’t tear myself away from the inauguration coverage though so you’ll probably hear more from me tomorrow.
Cool, how’d you do that? I can only see with my eyes.
Don’t forget…SDMB is intimately associated with Cecil Adams and the Ask Cecil columns in the Chicago Reader, not to mention the Staff Reports as supplements (Hey, Cecil may be the world’s smartest dude, but we all know he can’t do everything!)
So if you have a question, it’s a good idea to check out those columns first (and Google, of course!) before starting a thread that already has a ready answer.
To get to Cecil’s columns, go right down that hall, past the squid and just ignore the goat. You can come back to them later. Or, just use this link.
A last word of advice…try not to piss off the mods. They are our friends, and one of the reasons this board is a Good Place To Be.
(hands Cluricaun a tissue) Just here to help.
Welcome HolyFreakinMoly. Cool name.