I KNOW! Sometimes I think he’s in two places at once!
This just sounds like sour grapes. If a man gets rejected by a woman and he calls her a lesbian, that doesn’t change the actual meaning of the word “lesbian.” a high maintenance woman is a woman who makes the people around her work harder, like Meeyl Streep in that Prada movie. The fact that she herself might also work hard to maintain herself is incidental and not necessary.
I disagree with this list. I would go with: picky, demanding, difficult to please, constantly complaining, creating extra work for others, threatening to punish those who fail to meet their standards.
Oh Puh-lease!
You’ve gotta want something to be rejected by it. I’ve seen some that, yeah, look good in as-presented condition, but I have NO desire to pay for the staff, props, wardrobe, or headache to get her there.
Life’s too short.
To understand high maintenance, compete with my husband for time in front of bathroom mirror before work. I am not sure what it looks like in a woman.
That’s not high maintenance. If the woman constantly harped on how you are dancing wrong and how her dress is out of wack and her shoes and hair are whatever. That’s high maintenance.
You’re not the only one who has heard the phrase only to describe women; that’s sort of why I started this thread. I’ve never heard anyone call a man high maintenance. I’ve only heard it used by men to describe women. That and what you say in the last line above are why I determined it is sexist. The comments here have changed my mind somewhat about that.
Contrary to what some people have ASSumed here, the idea for this thread popped into my head when my male friend/boyfriend called me “low maintenance” a few weeks ago. I honestly didn’t know what he meant by that and actually was insulted, because to me it meant that he could do whatever he wanted and I’d let it go without comment. The conversation during which it came up was my asking if he wanted to do something for New Year’s Eve. He then protested that one of the reasons he liked me so much was because I am “low maintenance,” but that asking him to do something on New Year’s Eve could mean that I was becoming “high maintenance.”
Perhaps now you understand my confusion.
*We did end up going out for NYE at his insistence.
That’s not high maintenance, that’s a fucking bitch.
Maybe I’m not really understanding the context here, but if it went down how I’m reading it, your guy is coming off as an ass.
You ask if he wants to do something for NYE and he gets accusing (because OMIGOD how dare you ask him?) and then he insists you do something for NYE? That sounds like a ridiculous power struggle, honestly.
Yep. I agree. It’s not the ideal situation. But when I said he insisted, I meant that he was apologetic and said he really did want to do something if I still did.
I’ve used “high maintenance” for men in several situations. The most common one is that one guy in your group of friends who is a picky eater and won’t go along with the group unless it’s one of the four restaurants he likes. That’s high maintenance.
Another example of a high maintenance dude is Vince Vaughan’s character in The Break Up. Vaughan is a Cubs fan and his best friend is a White Sox fan, but Vaughan will never go to a White Sox game with his friend unless they are playing against the Cubs; whereas, the friend always goes to Cubs games with Vaughan, regardless of whom they’re playing. He also refuses to ever take Jennifer Aniston to see the ballet, because he personally doesn’t believe he’ll enjoy the ballet, without taking into account that Aniston might enjoy it a lot.
And I agree with JSGoddess. Your problem has nothing to do with whether “high maintenance” has a precise definition. Your male friend/boyfriend/whatever is trying to manipulate you by using a backhanded compliment.
Okay, that definitely is better than what I originally thought!
But I would agree with you that there seems to be an undercurrent of “Hey, if she has absolutely no desires of her own and no standards, that’s low maintenance. Awesome!”
There is a strong correlation between being “high maintenance” and “being a fucking bitch”. A little bit of high maintenance is ok and can even be endearing. But when it starts to manifest itself as nothing is good enough, I need constant attention and validation, I don’t want you doing x y and x, then it’s like “bitch…enough!”
Of course, like any descriptor, the term “high maintenance” can be misused. When used for evil, calling someone “high maintenance” can be code for “I’m not willing to put enough energy into this relationship to take my partner’s needs seriously.”
Good point! I think the reason the expression irks me and possibly others is that it implies all women need maintaining in some way, whether it be a lot or a little. Like a shrub.
So you don’t need anything on Valentine’s Day? Nothing for your birthday? No dinners out or anything?
Well, we kinda do, just like men do. I’d go so far as to say that all human relationships require some maintenance.
I like shrubs. 
Sheesh. Go to 1:30 in this video of Piers Morgan interviewing Condolezza Rice.
Say what? The high-maintenance picky eater is the one who holds up the group in some way, whether that be during the process of deciding on the restaurant or when putting in orders. Just having picky tastes, in and of itself, is not necessarily high-maintenance. It’s all in how you handle it.
Refusing to go along is a way of holding everyone hostage.