High school senior's summer work plans

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’d appreciate your thoughts about my kid’s plans for working this summer. He is graduating from HS and next fall will be attending a big 10 school majoring in engineering. Right now he is preparing for a number of AP and college placement tests, and he has received a couple of partial scholarships. My wife and I are very proud of him, and impressed with his accomplishments and goals.

We intend to pay tuition and fees, books, and dorm room and board costs for an in-state public school. Our kids are responsible primarily for their personal expenses. And we have suggested they need to amass something of a nest egg for when they get out of college and need to buy a car, sign a lease, etc.

He works part time during the school year, and was recently asked to submit his proposed schedule for the summer. He indicated that he would work 4 hours a day 4 days a week, up to a potential max of 20 hours.

He’s pretty frugal with his cash, and has a few k saved. I guess he would rather have the time off this summer, even tho it will mean he will have less next fall and beyond.

Harkening back to my HS summers when I was working 40+ hour weeks in various factories and pressrooms, I thought his proposed schedule seemed a tad light. I told him it didn’t seem like much to me, and that he might want to consider getting more hours, a 2d job, or even a couple of lawns to mow.

But on the other hand, he has done so much better in HS than I did, and will be pursuing a college major so much more difficult than I did. I really don’t think it will be the worst thing in the world for him to kick back and take it easy over the summer, because he is sure going to be working his ass off come August. Next summer he might well have an internship or something, so this might be his last opportunity to really goof off and be (somewhat) irresponsible. And if he doesn’t have enough saved, he is the only one who will have to bear the cost when he finds he doesn’t have enough cash to spend.

So despite my initial reaction, I am now leaning towards letting him take it as easy as he wishes, so long as he knows I expect him to really buckle down when school rolls around.

Any thoughts?

2

My inclination is to say that if he’s as generally hard working and responsible as you describe, he’s earned his laid-back summer big time. As you say, that chance won’t come along again for a long time (or possibly ever).

3

Right now I’d give far more than just a few grand just to have one more summer at that age…Let him have the time. He has the rest of his life to buckle down and be a citizen like the rest of us.

4

I worked 40 hours a week the summer before I started college, and I have to tell you, I don’t have the slightest idea where all that money went. Let the kid figure this out for himself; it will teach him lessons that are better learned now than later.

5

Cool.
Thanks for the responses.
Also, if I back off from being a hardass on this, I won’t feel guilty when I blow off a ton of work to play golf this summer! :cool:

6

Tell him how much financial support (if any) you will give him over the summer and during the school year, let him decide how much he needs to work. If lives frugally and can cover his expenses on 20 hours/week then more power to him. You could also charge him rent and put it in a savings account for him, but give him a $ amount, not a number of hours he needs to work.

I think I said the same thing when you asked about your daughter last summer.

7

I learned it from watching youuuuu!! :smiley:

Dinsdale, I’ve never met you in person but based off of your posts around here you seem like a pretty level headed guy with his head screwed on pretty straight. I’d imagine that those are qualities that you’ve passed on to your youngins and that a little hookey from day to day responsibilites isn’t going to torpedo his future.

Hell, if I had it all to do over again I’d have spend that little nest egg on renting a Corvette for the summer and chasing girls until I was flat broke and grinning like an idiot. Those part time shifts at Panera aren’t what you remember while sitting in the retirement home…

8

Aww shucks, now you’re making me blush! :o (Why does the “embarrassed” smiley remind me of Linda Lovelace?)

It is kinda funny because my kids are growing up to be WAY more conservative in how they lead their lives than I or their mom were at their age. (Tho they are all extremely liberal across the board on social/political issues.) I sincerely believe not one of the 3 has drunk alcohol, smoked cigs, used drugs, had sex, or knowingly broken any laws other than perhaps curfew.

While I must admit it is easier as a parent to have rules-following kids than the alternative, on occasion I want to tell them to loosen up and cut loose once in a while (within limits, of course!) :wink: Recently I asked my 20-year old iof she thought she would ever try alcohol, and she said, “Well, certainly not before my 21st birthday.” Believe me, it is difficult to cull my memories (what few remain) to figure how to deal with that attitude!

I almost want them to try more stupid things and make mistakes, instead of just taking the safe and prescribed road. Heck, the boy is 18 years old. He could spend his summer hitching across the country or something. But, like I said, it sure does make things easier as a parent that he doesn’t.

9

Ain’t it the truth! When my son was talking to the recruiter, she asked him about the alcohol/cigs/drugs/etc. and he said No Way. She didn’t believe him. She kept trying to get him to confess to SOMETHING - nope. Mine won’t drink until he’s 21 either - he is all over our cases about smoking, refuses to hang out with anyone who does any kind of drugs - he’s like the kid my parents wanted me to be.

And you remember what I was like when I was a teenager - you and Ive discussed it in emails before - please explain to me how this child is like this? He certainly didn’t get it from ME!! :smiley:

10

It looks like the kid saved up enough money that he doesn’t HAVE to work 40 hours a week to pay for his personal needs.

Isn’t that what we ALL wish for?
Hey, be proud of him. There’s no law that says extra work is good or mandatory. I may have said this with regard to your last question, too. But the kid has done everything you asked of him and made it look easier than you estimated- no reason to punish him. Quite the contrary, actually.
Let the kid live the dream. After all, he’ll need SOMETHING on which he can look back fondly when he’s clocking the big OT in 4.5 years. :smiley:

11

I agree. By letting him make the decision, you’re treating him like the intelligent, almost-adult he is.

I was much like this (except for the sex part) until my junior year of college. Then I started making up for lost time.

12

I did exactly what your son wants to do my “senior summer” - got into a state school, spent the summer working about 20 hours a week, dad and scholarships took care of tuition, food and books…and I had more than enough money to last me about 3 years (padded by some weekend catering work). I didn’t work in the summer again until after my junior year of college.

I graduated cum laude, and was totally debt free by the end of it as well.

13

What kind of job are we talking about?

If has an opportunity to do a job that will be interesting and useful for his future career (like an internship), and he is passing that up to goof off, I would have reservations - but if it is just some throwaway typical high school job, like working at Burger King, who cares? Let him have some fun.

14

Speaking purely from personal experience…

As a kid who worked her butt off in high school, and who took the summer before college off, I strongly support his choice. It sounds like he’s going to be pushing himself as hard in college as he did in HS, and there’s no reason why he shouldn’t get a break. After taking the summer off, I was really able to jump into things my freshman fall. In fact, I got a part-time job in September of my freshman year that changed my career path and will lead to full-time employment come June (when I graduate). If I hadn’t had that summer off, I’m not sure I would have been so energetic in the fall, and so willing to get a job that honestly changed my life.

15

Dinsdale, I’ve noticed you post a lot about how you don’t think your son works as hard as he could. And then in the next breath you talk about how great he is and how wonderful he is and how hardworking in school he is (and whatever part-time job he has).

Speaking as a 26 year old who was like that in high school/college, I say, let the kid make his own decisions. He’s obviously earned it.

My mother was always reminding me that I needed more money. That I should find another job and work more hours. Etc, etc, etc. Just like you say in your OP.

But I was like your son. I didn’t do the whole drinking/partying/drugging thing. My money was spent on video games and movies and whatever girl I was trying to impress at the moment (admittedly, there were few). I didn’t have to work like crazy, so I didn’t.

Some parents just don’t want to admit they have a good kid and that they raised them well. Your kid is making his way in the world and he’s going to do a good job of it because you did a good job with him. You should be HAPPY dammit! :smiley:

16

I appreciate your insight, I really do. But I assure you, the view appears somewhat different at 46 (and more) than it could possibly look at 26! :smiley:

17

I went into my freshman year with somewhere around $2k. Mom told me not to work freshman year but instead worry about my classes. I was a very good student in high school, had laid back parents so I wasn’t out to rebel.

I blew that money so damn fast.

I was used to having a weekly paycheck - I worked the same job from freshman year to right before college started. Not used to having a bank account that ONLY got smaller, never bigger.

It’s so easy to blow money at college. Especially if you make friends with the kind of people who have access to mommy and daddy’s credit cards…dinners out instead of gross dining hall, beer, shopping, weekend trips, even vending machine crap all adds up. You want to fit in, hang out, keep up, but sometimes you just can’t.

I also got crappy grades freshman year, as it’s been biting me in the ass ever since - one year of crap grades + 3 years of really good grades still = blah GPA.

Your son sounds very responsible - I just hope he doesn’t fall in with the kind of kids I did, and worries more about homework than trying to go out all the time.

I really regret the choices I made freshman year - I even had to start selling CDs and my Playstation 2 for gas money and stuff. It was horrible, and makes me feel stupid looking back on it.

As long as he knows to watch himself, think before he decides to blow off studying to see a movie, or skip class to sleep, watch his money, and chooses his friends wisely, he should be fine.

If he already doesn’t have online banking set up for his checking account, it’s a good idea to do it. Easy and quick to watch your balance and purchases.

18

Sure, but remember, the kid doesn’t HAVE the priorities of a 46-year-old and has no reason to.

If he has enough money for all the things he needs, and he isn’t struggling to purchase anything he needs, why press the issue?

19

I know that. What I was getting at is what I have found the most frustrating aspect of parenthood. Rightly or wrongly, you feel you have such a possibility to potentially screw your kid up. You want to make the “right” decisions to help them develop, based on your decades more experience. And despite many kids’ desire to just be left alone, sometimes a gentle prod/lure may actually be in their best interest. How do I weigh their current pleasure against their future interest?

These stupid little issues come up every day. Do I say anything? How firmly do I express my opinion? Do I let the kid make what seems to be a mistake and hopefully learn from it?

And there’s no instruction manual, so you’re basically just winging it. Despite my going to work 40 hours a week and receiving a paycheck, by far my most important job is being a good husband and raising my kids to be decent adults. So at times I spend what seems like too much thought on what seems like too minor an issue. That’s one reason I’m so thankful you guys are able to act as a sounding board on some of these things.

20

And again, as a kid who was in your son’s shoes, you’re done. You’ve done a good job. You get to have the following exchange once…

“What do you plan to do over Summer for a job?”

Son replies

“Have you thought about this…”

Anything after that is the annoying nagging of a parent who can’t understand their child is an adult now. Part of me wishes I were a little more wild in my youth so that nagging would have had a point. Instead, it basically felt like I was being punished for being good.