No, Hillary Clinton looks like the kind of lady who elbows her way to the front of the line, argues over expired coupons, and brings a cartload of grocceries to the Express Lane.
Hillary Clinton also looks like the kind of lady who…
…irons her underwear.
…knows the right fork to use, and berates you if you don’t.
…would wrap your knuckles with a ruler and make you sit in the corner for (allegedly) making faces during catechtism.
…who never bothered with a Pooper-Scooper[sub]TM[/sub] when taking Buddy for a walk-and let him poop on your lawn, looking you right in the eyes while he did so.
Hillary Clinton also looks like the kind of lady who…
…wears the same size dress at 60 she wore at 25- because she switches tags.
…has supporters in Bakersfield, pumping, pumping, pumping…
…prefaces racist remarks with ‘I don’t mean anything racist by this, but…’
…begins each morning by consulting her mirror for that day’s beauty polls (and the mirror knows to lie)
…knows 7 ways to kill a person with a plastic spork
…watches Cate Blanchett’s swordplay in the new Indiana Jones movie and yells “That’s not the sword I’d have used… don’t parry, THRUST you stupid bitch! Slice the femeral… idiot!”
Hillary Clinton looks like the kind of person who has the absolute perfect house for you in her real estate listings and will not let you go until you see it, even though you’ve already bought another house and have been living in it for the last two years.
Hillary Clinton looks like the kind of lady who:
[ul]Always thanks everyone for coming, even when it’s not her house.[/ul]
[ul]Serves a catered cake and tearfully recalls how her grandmother whispered the recipe into her ear, as her last words on her deathbed.[/ul]
[ul]Parks her Escalade diagonally across three spaces in a packed parking deck.[/ul]
[ul]Is fond of announcing that she’s “heavily involved with third-world charities,” having given her housekeeper a $10 Crate and Barrel gift card at Christmas.
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