. . . in another time and place would have advised Chelsea to “lie still and think of England”.
Hillary Clinton looks like the kind of lady who calls every politician of the past century by their familiar name whether she knew them or not: “As Jack Kennedy and Lynnie Johnson used to say to me, Patty Nixon and Rosie Carter wouldn’t have liked my taste in redecorating the Yellow Room because they were used to shopping at yard sales.”
Hillary Clinton looks like the kind of lady who attends the premiere of the new Norwegian documentary on snail farming and namedrops Ecuadorian novelists, but whose top 3 in her Netflix queue are really Charles in Charge: Season 2, Big Momma’s House 2, and American Pie: Band Camp.
Hillary Clinton looks like the kind of lady who may well say “Senator Ted Kennedy endorsed my opponent and was then diagnosed by a terminal brain tumor. I know that some of you see this as the hand of God, but I do not. I see it as an early symptom” prior to going into the tale of her Paw-Paw’s brain tumor and how it taught her to fish.
Hillary Clinton looks like the kind of lady who would claim that Dolly Parton’s Eagle When she Flies, the character of Wilma Flintstone, and the book The Color Purple were all based on her.
Repeating from another thread:
Hillary looks like the kind of lady who at 60 year still auditions for the part of Laurey in the Apple Valley Players production of Oklahoma!, somehow working it into her audition that “You know, Shirley Jones saw me play the role when I was in college and said I was better than she was” and “My husband built the sets for the last several performances and is on the ANGEL’S list of sponsors… don’t he might not be able to this year, we’ll have to see.”
Hillary Clinton looks like the kind of lady who’s pruning shears always match her gardening clogs.
Hillary Clinton looks like the kind of lady who doesn’t want that kind of smut in her house!
Hillary Clinton looks like the kind of lady who, in her capacity as head of the Good Neighbor homeowners committee, has a problem with your doorknocker.
Hillary Clinton looks like the kind of lady who crochets pillow covers with the word ‘Temperance’ on them.
Incidentally, this one:
Is fucking superb! Extra points for the Donnie Darko reference.
Hillary Clinton looks like the kind of lady who… if she scored 2nd in Olympic ice skating, would appeal the Olympic judges’ decision, saying, “It shouldn’t matter that my competitor scored better than me, the audience gave me a bigger reaction, so I should win anyways.”
She married the president of the committee and will later tout this as valuable experience when she eventually runs her own campaign full of vicious lies about the supposedly excessive length of the grass on her opponent’s front lawn.
Yup, a maverick outsider with no ties to those in power. This describes the most powerful First Lady ever/current Senator from NY/Wal-Mart board member/Presidential candidate perfectly!
… retreats to her special place to don leather and stilletto heels and gently slap the handle of her bullwhip against the palm of her hand …
uh …
never mind!
Fuuuuuuuuuuck.
Actually come to think about it, she looks like the kind of lady who would start talking to you while you were both taking a leak at the urinal and then fart really loudly while he’s peeing and not even skip a beat…no wait, that’s what I said about McCain…
She’s the brash matadora who gets flipped into the air by the bull, yet somehow is awarded the ears and tail.
Hillary’s squack does not echo, because she had it soundproofed.
HRC looks like the kind of woman who takes her lap dog into Lowe’s…and when challenged by a cashier assures them that “There is no dog in my buggy.” When said employee points out that her dog has in fact SHIT in the buggy, she reiterates, “There is no dog in my buggy. But that is beside the point, as my dogs do not shit.”
Hillary looks like the kind of lady whose son would be the Manchurian Candidate.
… makes you cut the branch she’s going to give you a whipping with.
… reads the obituary page between the funnies and the travel section.
… tries to haggle at an estate sale by insisting everything is crap.
… hires a hitman to rub out a cheerleader’s mother.
… strums the bottom of the offering plate to sound like change falling in.
Hilary Clinton looks like the kind of lady who would blame a fart on her dog.
…used to give me detention in high school for smoking in the girls bathroom.
(Maybe smoking in the bathroom next to the vice principal’s office was a tactical error on my part 
)
She looks like the kind of lady you’d want as your lawyer, defending you on a child-rape charge if you were clearly guilty.
She looks like the kind of lady who, if the lines were too long at the ladies room, would walk into a crowded men’s room, go into a stall, do her business, come out, wash her hands, nod at the drop jawed gentlemen, and leave without saying a word or changing her expression.
…would tell all the tourists at the White House, “Ya know, get ya know off my ya know lawn!”
. . . would say, “Will no one rid me of this troublesome priest?”
Hillary Clinton looks like the kind of woman who’d get a reputation as a strict math teacher then take you aside and offer to help you in private when she notices you lagging.
She seems like the type of lady who wants to speak to a manager.