His Wife is on the Web au natural!! (nude)

A friend of mine ran into an unexpected situation while surfing the web a few days ago while his wife was at work. He was sent an e-mail by a friend of his who suggested that he check out a website.

When he went there, he found erotic pictures of his wife posted.

Not just nude pictures, but with her posing for the camera in their bedroom on their bed, which looked like it had been used shortly before. Including a downward shot of her holding an erect ‘member’ and smiling up at the camera.

There was a little problem here. First, he never posted any nude Polaroid’s of his wife, second, he never took those pictures!!! (No, I’m not going to give the link.)

He works nights and she works part time days. Judging from the pictures, she was real familiar with the photographer. My friend and his wife have only been married for two years, working to put aside a nice little buffer zone before they had kids and they seemed to be getting along real well. He had no idea that she was cheating on him nor why.

He printed out the pictures, left them on the dining room table for her to see and dropped in at my place to tell me about it. I, for once, was out of ideas. Even I was stunned. He was more upset than I’d ever seen him before. Hi wife called around two hours after he would have gotten home and he had a real calm, real quiet chat with her for about 5 minutes and then headed home.

He moved out that night. I don’t know the particulars, I don’t know what’s going on since because he’s not called any of his friends, but last night I got a call from his wife asking me if I knew where he was. She sounded upset.

I went to the website the night my friend came over, knowing how people like to play with pictures, figuring some jerk had fixed her face on a similar body. Nope. It was her, from what I could tell. Most damning was that the pictures had been taken in their bedroom.

In my opinion, I’d file for divorce right now. She is gorgeous, and they made a great couple, and they dated for 3 years before getting married and there was not hint of cheating. But those pictures … well, they flabbergasted even me. I’d want to know who the photographer was so I could pay him a visit. The guy must be a real b*****d to publish pictures of the girl he’s cheating with on the web.

Next time I talk with him, I’m going to suggest he have her put out and start divorce papers. I’m going to tell him to get his complete phone records from the phone company and see if there is a strange number on it, like from the other guy. Then we’ll run a reverse lookup to find the address and name.

After that, it’s up to him.

I’m still stunned. They had seemed like such an excellent couple!

Not wanting to sound ignorant, but what does ‘b*****d’ stand for.
I, too, am stunned by her behavior. I feel for your friend. But I don’t think the phone company can list incoming calls. They can only provide a list of outgoing calls, IIRC.

It stands for the male child of an unmarried woman.

I think he means “bastard”, Spooje.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to regret stepping into this, but isn’t it up to the wife to get upset at her lover for putting her picture on the internet? And for all we know, she might have been willing for him to do it, or even put them there herself.

While I understand any anger your friend might feel towards the person his wife was cheating on, I don’t think any good can come out of trying to track this person down. His problem is with his wife, she’s the one who cheated on him, not this other person.

Frankly, I think the best thing for you to do is not to try and inflame your friend any further. I know you must be pissed of as hell that somebody could betray your friend this way, but I think that encouraging him to track down this person is a big mistake.

I gotta agree with Tatertot, as usual. I expect to hear more about this sort of thing, as the internet is becoming an integral part of our society.

Start divorce proceedings poste haste.

But why would he try to cover up ‘bastard’???

spooje, some people consider it swearing too. I know my mom does (as I can attest to when Mr2U said it over Christmastime and she freaked.)

Anyway, I agree with tater (big surprise there, huh) that hunting down who it was would be a mistake. Start the divorce ASAP - do not pass go, do not collect $200 - call a lawyer. Today.

Also, considering what a big place the internet is, had it occurred to anyone that the person who sent the email saying “check out this website” may be the person who she was cheating with? I mean really, what are the odds of “stumbling across it”?

Just to chime in - that has always been a pet peeve of mine: People who take out all their rage at the person who their SO is cheating with.

The guilty party is the wife, not necessarily the person she was sleeping with. you have no idea what she was telling the other guy. Maybe she told him her husband was an emotionaly abusive guy who cheats oin her constantly and boo-hoo for me. Maybe he knew the whole truth but he doesn’t owe your friend any loyalty, the wife did.

tater is one smart lady and her advice is good. Let fists remain in pockets and get a bloody good lawyer on the case. I think you & your friend might be better off not knowing addresses, names etc. until tempers have cooled a bit.

If you want to come through for your friend, perhaps you might want to try opening a channel of communication between him and his wife - while she certainly wronged him, she shouldn’t have to worry if he’s sleeping in the gutter or whatever. Just a thought, there might be reasons not to.

I just think that in the interests of responsibility and decency, we ought to withhold further comment until we have additional information. What did you say the website address was again?

I know it seems unlikely at this point, but is there any way this relationship can be salvaged? If everything was fine in their marriage before this, maybe they can work this out? I don’t know if I’d be able to, but maybe there’s some chance. If you think there might be, as his friend, you may want to be careful about what you say about her. Even though that may be difficult now, it might serve you well in the future if they decide to work things out.

This whole situation is so sad. I feel awful for your friend. I’m glad that they haven’t had kids yet.

This has gotta be one of the worst things that I have ever read. I mean, the betrayal that this guy has to feel has got to be overwhelming. I was just married in Sept. and I can’t imagine anything close to that.

T.M.G., I can see that you’re pretty upset over your friend’s hard times, but trying to find “The Guy” won’t be good for anyone. I’m not saying that it wouldn’t be gratifying in the short term, but the reprocussions could be devastating and, in the end, a very hollow victory.

If I were him, and I can’t begin to say that I know what he’s going through, I think that there are two paths I could take. 1. Reconciliation and 2. Divorce and move on.

The first would be tough, to say the least, and I’d have to swallow A LOT of pride. It may be quite a leap in credability, but it is possible that she was just posing for pictures for the money. Like I said, not very likely, but possible.

The second would be almost as hard, I’d just be thankful that there aren’t any kids involved.

I think I call my wife and tell her how much I love her.

There’s not much you can do, except be there for your friend to talk to, if that’s what he needs. But, personally, I think he should dump her immediately. File for divorce. He knows what type of person she is now, he shouldn’t draw out a sham of a marriage until kids are dragged into the picture. If he found one beautiful woman, something tells me he’ll find another.

IMHO – Don’t do it!

Take it from a guy who was on the wrong end of one of these situations. You’re friend is weaving between reconciliation and murder right now (probably with a dash of suicide thrown in.) Be a friend, advise that he seek a lawyer pronto, advise that he seek counseling almost as quickly, then stay the hell out of it.

You can’t make anything better. You can, however, make a misstep and blow your friendship apart.

Though I agree that it would be a bad idea to hunt the other guy up with the purpose of opening a can o’whoop-ass, I think that knowing who he is could be incredibly useful if the divorce comes to court.

My 2 cents.

As a person involved in thepornography industry - was there actual sex involved, or is it all touching and simulation?

Not that that really excuses her all that much, but it is mitigating circumstances. Faking it isn’t cheating.


A person who puts themselves into an intimate situation with another person without the knowledge and consent of their spouse is cheating by any definition I can think of.

I do not subscribe to the theory that one needs to have coitus completus in order to have betrayed the faith of the marriage.

Other than that, I agree that TheMoonGazer’s role should be nothing more than support for the friend: no inciting to violence, no calling down vitriol on the wife, no encouragement for the divorce.

Suggestions of a lawyer and a counsellor ar fine, provided they are not directed to a specific goal. However bad this seems (and it seems about as bad as it can get, to me), neither TMG nor any poster here is actually one of the couple and it is their issue to resolve or relationship to dissolve.

You know, I just have to point out that there is a lot of truth to this.

[Jules Winfield]
Whether or not what takes place between your wife and another man is “According to Hoyle” cheating is irrelevant. What is relevant is that she was doing something she knew you would not approve of and would hurt your feelings. It could be that your wife made pornographic pictures in your bed with another man, it could be she was only doing it artistically, it could be she just went grocery shopping with the guy. But all that shit don’t matter, because she willfully did something that she knew would piss you off and hurt your feelings.
[/Jules Winfield]

Now, I’m not saying that your SO can’t have friends and all that, I’m just saying that in any relationship there are ground rules. Things that you both know not to do, and if you do them on purpose, it’s bad. Now I know that leaving the toilet seat up ain’t the same ball park as sucking off some guy in your bed. It ain’t the same league, it aint even the same sport. But it’s the same principle, just a to a differing degree. Much like stealing is wrong whether it’s a nickel off a co-worker’s desk or 30 million embezzeled from the company. Running with this “analogy”, the punishment should fit the crime.

Anyway, I just wanted to point out that this guy should kick the bitch out, get a lawyer, drink heavily, and wait for the divorce to be final.

Hmm. Well, I guess it’s up to the individual. Maybe it is cheating to a lot of folk. But to me, it’d be highly questionable and worth being upset about - but not actual cheating. I don’t know all the circumstances, of course, which definitely matters.

What Tatertot so eloquently said.

Plus, what kunilou said.

Look, every marriage, and every arrangement between married couples, is different. You do not know what went on inside the marriage, or behind their bedroom door. You do not know what led up to this, or if there is some explanation. It is their marriage, and it is up to them to work it out or call it quits.

Your friend is hurt, and it is natural for you to want to help fix his hurt by providing a resolution so can move on, but it is not the time, and it is not up to you. Unbelievable as it may seem, some marriages have survived infidelity, even public infidelity (though rarely so complete as this!). If they do sort things out, and you have been advocating a swift end to the pain, you are likely to be cast as a villain by both of them.

This is the time to be reactive not proactive. Read up on the stages of grief and help you friend through them. Let him follow his own path, not yours.

And I agree with Missy2U, it seems like too much of a coincidence that your friend was randomly sent the link to the site.