Um, HELLO?? This is Santa speaking! Wally! Yoo, Hoo!
Santa
Riddle:
Who wears a red velvet suit and says, “Ho, Ho, Ho”?
Answer:
A pimp taking inventory.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
Santa! It’s really you!
Could I have a pound of Viagra and a blow-up doll?
Chef, good one. 
It’s immoral to allow a sucker to keep his money.