Look, he’s not dangerous. Here boy! You just want to be petted, don’t you?
No worries. I’m sure we can outrun it.
Actually, that happens after the disaster is already in progress. Like this one:
“Uh-oh!”
- Last words of Dick Scobee, commander of the Space Shuttle Challenger
“Of course it’s safe!”
“I’ve done this a thousand times!”
“It’s been checked and double-checked.”
“I’ll be right back!”
“This will only take a minute!”
“Take a picture of this!”
“Geronimo!”
“Fore!”
“Those chains are made of chrome steel!” (Only used with respect to certain Simians)
I always hold on to my beer. Makes the tragedy all the more impressive.
I was going to mention that one, but this story shows the victim pre-swim. It all makes sense now.
Phrase many a man has uttered trying to impress women: Hey girls!
“I wonder what this switch does?”
“You idiot! Not like that - like this!”
“Well, actually, you do look a little fat.”
“Take a deep breath, and… .”
“Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges!!!”
“Quick! Get in front of me. I’ll protect you!”
I’m just gonna run and vote before the polls close…
No guts, no glory.
(you get the glory but lose your guts)
This is the one I get all the time. No, if you knew what you were doing you wouldn’t being doing that.
Witness me, bloodbag!
“We’ll never get caught!”
Open your mouth
And close your eyes
And you will get
A big surprise
This will be cool…
and the related
I just had a thought…
I’ve uttered “I think this bolt is a little loose” seconds before a chair I was sitting collapsed.
Were you going to vote for that personable dude who asked you to hold his beer?
“I can take him.”
“What are you, chicken?”
“If it was dangerous it wouldn’t be legal.”
“Don’t be a wimp.”
Male & female preludes to romantic disaster:
"I know, but she’s so hot!"
and
“Nobody but me understands him!”