I have a presentation to give next week and it’s quite touching (in a sweet way). I’m wondering what tricks you have for keeping it bottled-up when you need to look professional.
I’ve had some luck with counting backwards from 100, though I’m not sure I can do that while focusing on the subject matter. I’m okay getting misty-eyed, choked-up or weeping in the corner when someone else is speaking but I’d rather not have it happen while I’m at-bat.
What works in this situation? I’d like to have some real advice, but don’t hold-back on the jokes.
I keep my onions in the fridge, and cut them up cold. No tears. Aside from that, no advice, I always embarrass myself watching movies. Reading books, too, but I’m usually alone when I do that.
The timing of this thread is uncanny…I just came from a meeting where the speaker broke down. It was dreadful to say the least.
I used to be “master of my own domain” so far as emotional displays were concerned. It seems now that I’ll cry about anything. My nose turns red(der), my eyes well up and overflow. However, I still have a horror of crying in front of people, so I cover very well. I’m somehow able to summon a natural tone of voice, so when people say, “Are you crying?”, I respond, “No, I was just about to sneeze” or something like that and they buy it.
Now, a presentation such as you describe: my advice is that you don’t do that!
Laugh. You can’t laugh and cry at the same time. So if you feel yourself tearing up, stop thinking about the subject matter that you are presenting and think of something amusing. Depending on the subject, gallows humor may be appropriate ( a dark humor that is designed for this specific purpose), but if the subject is too dark for you to feel comfortable making light of it(even in your own head), I would suggest remembering some funny kitten videos from youtube this morning.
Yes, I think practice is the only cure. Things lose their emotional impact over time/repetition… and at the very least, you’ll know ahead of time whether you can give the speech without losing it. If you can’t maintain composure, you draft a new version.
Showing a little emotion can be a good thing, but it’s not good to be up there blubbering over the lectern in a business presentation. (Heck, even at a eulogy, I think we’d prefer to the speaker to keep at least a little composure.)
As for me personally… I’m just not a person who cries. I’ve even had a few experiences where I thought “Shouldn’t I be crying if I feel like this?”
Yes, practice it several times and let yourself cry when you do so; you’ll find yourself crying less each time. AIUI crying is a shock response and just like jokes lose their funny when they’re not surprising anymore the emotion should lose its impact after several times going over the presentation.
Alternatively, you can preface your talk with something like “I’m going to warn you ahead of time, there is a part of this talk where I might tear up. Its just a part of who I am, but what’s important here is the message.”
I’ve seen it done like this a few times, and it’s fine. We are human, some of us tear up reflexively at emotional topics. If people understand what’s happening, they will overlook it like any other variation.
I agree that practice is the key. Keep saying it over and over and eventually it will lose some of its power. Practice it whilst doing something mundane but distracting, like ironing.
When the time comes, try to focus on something equally mundane like what people in the audience are wearing. You can let the emotion out near the end if you want. Audiences love it.
I was going to say the same thing. To add, when practicing and feel the tears coming on, stop yourself and in your best Mom/Dad voice, tell yourself to suck it up and cut it out. Whatever you tell yourself when you simply MUST do something, but don’t want to. (For me, it’s put on your big girl panties and suck it up. This may or may not work for you, depending on your choice of undergarments.)
Practice aloud, definitely, and in front of a test audience. Practice a few times aloud.
And when not talking you can bite down hard on the inside of your cheek - the discomfort / pain can distract enough to hold back the raw emotions. I have done that before and it works.
Breathe. Take a deep breath in through your nose, push it all the way down to the bottom of your lungs, hold it for 2 seconds, then exhale through the mouth. Repeat until calmer.
It is amazing how this one simple trick will reduce stress and emotion.
Sometimes it can work to your disadvantage. I control my emotions at work. When my boss starts yelling and screaming at me, I control my emotions and try to get a handle on his complaint in a rational and practical manner. This can make him tend to think that I don’t grasp the severity of his anger and so he’ll ramp it up…
Try putting one hand down by your side and just squeeze it into a fist. Don’t dig your nails into your palm, the idea is not to distract yourself with alternate pain, but just picture that as your expression of the pain. And don’t try to hide the fist in your pocket, that doesn’t work. If it’s down by your side few people will notice it. If you have a podium or a visual aid then you’re golden, just position yourself so that you can hide that hand.