Holiday entertainment for small groups with a toddler

In My Humble Opinion
1

For Thanksgiving, we had just my dtr/SIL/2.5 y.o. granddtr for dinner. Very pleasant, but we were kinda stuck on what to do after dinner. Our house isn’t terribly childproofable, tho the kid isn’t destructive. And she’ll amuse herself to a good extent, but someone pretty much needs to keep an eye on her and periodically direct her.

Wondering if any of you have situations like that, and what you do as a group. Having 4 adults sit around and watch a toddler play kinda has a max time limit. It is easier in warm weather, when we can be outside. We’re going to have the same family over for x-mas eve, but also 3 other adults - so there should be more of a critical mass.

2

What would you have done if the toddler was not there, say at a babysitter or something? Sounds like the child wasn’t the imposition. Outside of cursory child proofing - put up the meds, lock the chemicals, stow the priceless or harmful collectibles, trigger locks, a solitary child should be safe with 4-7 adults in the vicinity. Beyond that, electronics are you friend. Simple games on a tablet. A personal gaming system. One adult can rotate through the keep an eye on her while the other is with the group. Oh and be mindful of bedtime and travel stress.

3

When does this toddler go to bed? Is it possible to shorten or even skip her afternoon nap, and put her to bed a little early, without having her wake up too early in the morning?

I had a toddler who took a really long afternoon nap, and had a fairly late bedtime, for a toddler, but when we visited family, we used to wake him up early, and then put him to bed early. It wasn’t ideal, and sometimes he was a little cranky at dinner, but we indulged him with his favorite foods, and sometimes gave him a bath before bed (he normally got a bath in the morning, because he sweated a lot at night), and he still breastfed at age 2, so that helped him sleep. In fact, by 2, he just breastfed twice a day, before nap, and before bed.

Anyway, if the toddler can go for a bath, and then bedtime routine, almost right after dinner, problem solved.

4

We would have been happy to play a game - but it can be tough is one has to keep hopping up to redirect the kid. And we’d like to avoid feeling that we are “ignoring” her. We probably should have played some music - 3 of us like to play, and I don’t think the dad would have minded. The problem was that my wife and I were flagging a bit - we hadn’t planned much, and weren’t feeling creative on the spot.

So we put on Finding Nemo, thinking we could talk while it was on. But as a general matter I dislike having the TV on with company.

The size - 4 adults and 1 toddler - just didn’t seem to work well.

5

I think at that age, your options are a little limited. At 2.5 years, my daughter wasn’t even that interested in playing with a fun new toy for very long unless someone was playing with her. And she was also the kind of kid who slept like a champ in her own bed, but being at someone else’s house was just too exciting for her to sleep, even if we tried to wear her down.

The best we managed was to provide some toys on the floor, and roll with the fact that she would play a little, and then want to show someone her toys, and let her rotate through the adults. If you go into it expecting to talk, but with a frequent interruptions to look at a toy cow, you can relax and talk around it. If you CANNOT relax into that mode, I think you’re setting yourself up for frustration. I think some kids can be directed to play independently at that age, but developmentally, most kids are not there yet and it’s not about discipline or manners.

As to actual things to do, music is a great idea (aka toddler dance party). Maybe an ipad with the volume low for her to watch something while the adults talk. At that age, most kids will be more engrossed with a movie or show they are already familiar with, despite our adult belief that a new movie will be more entertaining.

At my mom’s house, we used to set up a row of canned food from the kitchen and send her to fill a basket (toys that involve putting things in other things and then taking them out are perfect for that age, even if they aren’t actual toys but rather tupperware from your kitchen), but even with that it cycles through the kid playing on her own, and then the kid bringing her groceries to an adult for inspection. Related, giving her a purse or tote bag filled with stuff and asking her to pack and unpack it. A laundry basket filled with socks.

My daughter was also interested in looking at photo albums of people she knew. We were mystified that she was able to pick out my mom at any age (even my mom’s high school pictures).

Fisher Price makes cute playsets that come in a carrying case (the line is called Play 'N Go, and sometimes Fold ‘N Go) which are good for a grandparents’ house because they are very small, portable, and easily stored (they’re about the size of a lunch box). Those were good for up to 15-20 minutes of focused play. Perhaps one of those for the Christmas list.

We are also big fans of a walk, even just around the block, after dinner, and we are from a cold climate so we bundle up and have at it. If it ends with the child in a stroller, they might even fall asleep and then you can just park them when you get home. At Christmas, maybe a drive to look at holiday decorations.

(these are all sourced from me looking at pictures of my daughter at that age at family parties – this is what she was doing)

Oh, and SO many people told me that this was a good age for kids to string things on a piece of yarn, like dry penne pasta, or I guess anything that has a hole in it. My kid was strangely delayed in this area because it always involved crying for us, but apparently plenty of other people find it a good time-consuming activity for toddlers.

6

My sourpuss opinion is that that’s how life is for the parents all the time, and part of hosting parents of small children is carrying some of that burden with grace and aplomb. So yes, you basically sit at the table trying to have a conversation while everyone keeps half an eye on the kid.