Hehehe, I’m going to ring Eve’s doorbell, then knock at a rapid rate, then wave a deadly weapon around…
She knows what I look like, right?
Body Count: 8 (?)
…Oh wait… I forgot the five that put the serial killer in jail in the first place…
Body Count: 13
I’ll be right back guys, Topaz and I need to sneak off into the dark, very soundproof’d alleyway. You couldn’t hear a scream from there, the traffic covers the noise.
What are those troll-like creatures doing running around the house with sharp like implements?
::::opening front door:::::::::::
"Why look it that! It’s George Hamilton, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Loni Anderson, Gavin McCleod, Gary Coleman and Some Other Has Been Actors Whose Name Escapes Me. Is this a bad thing?
Come on, come on, let me in!
Boy, Eve ain’t kidding. No, really, she’s not.
Oh, Eve. Nice to s…
OWWWWW!!!
Y’know this newstory would be sooo much better if he had a hook for a hand. A bloody hook.
Good thing I managed to get to my car and lock all the doors.
::Fumbling. Hand shaking. Fumbling. Drops keys. More fumbling::
Not to worry, here’s the key:
sputter, cough, sputter, cough…
No, she’s not kidding. This case is entirely real, and pretty gruesome. He escaped on a 60-foot string of bedsheets. In some ways, it is similar to another case a few years back involving an inmate at an insane asylum who escaped by seducing the cleaning lady, and then stealing her keys. The headline the next day said “Nut screws washer and bolts.”
Now excuse me. I have to go make a boorish Unwanted Sexual Advance toward the Nice Girl at the party.
Don’t bother, mate. That pun’s already got you on the bad guy’s list.
Just the bald one. I wanna get his autograph on this Weird Science theater poster.
[sub]Plus, I wanna ask him all about that Motley Crue video…[/sub]
All depends upon your point of view. If you’re having a Botox Party, you’re pretty much made in the shade. If you’re trying to pack the house with willing victims, you’re in deep doo-doo.
Eve, I’m glad you’re inspired to have a slumber party. I’ll be glad to be the Eunuch Butler/Late-Night Snack Boy who wordlessly and politely glides from one pillow-bedecked lounging area to the next, offering tasty fresh made warm finger foods and drinks to all.
The kitchen will be spotless, the leftovers ( of course, there won’t be many since I’m a brilliant Eunuch Chef ) will be tucked away in Zip Loc brand freezer bags, there’ll be a pot of hot fondue on the stove and a plate of fresh-baked Snickerdoodles set out to cool, and I will have set the alarm before quietly withdrawing from the domicile.
Trust me. It’ll be a simply loooooooooooooooooovely party. :eek:
Omigod, that’s not a finger!!!
Hey! Look who’s in the driveway! It’s the mentally challenged physically deformed janitor from the high school that we spend all day tormenting and ridiculing. Let’s see what he wants!
Oh, no—and he’s played by Donald Sutherland!!
Pretty close to Hazelton. Won’t be for long, though. Moving to the new place in NC near the end of the month. That is, if the escaped murderer doesn’t get me.
Oh you guys are just being silly!
There’s no stranger out there!
Here, just so you don’t worry about little noises, let’s turn up the stereo really loud!
Heh, see? It’s working! I just heard someone ask for some red rum!
PAR-TAY!
Oh, crap, now we’ve got this guy to worry about, too!
**BRIDGEWATER, Mass. (AP) - A man has escaped the state treatment center for sexually dangerous persons where he was committed 19 years ago, corrections officials said Monday. John McIntyre was present for an inmate count at 9:30 p.m. Sunday and discovered missing at around 11 p.m., Correction Commissioner Michael Maloney said at a news conference on Monday. “The court has found him to be sexually dangerous and committed him to life in prison. I would consider him dangerous, yes,” Maloney said. **
I spent a year and half at Penn State Hazleton. Also, two years ago I dated a woman who lives in Mountaintop.