I don’t think it was the sole purpose, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that some posters used it that way. (I mostly agree with the rest of your post, however, and thank you.)
I guess the worst, for me, was the one-dimensional emphasis on sex, as if that’s all that gay men think about (more than other men, anyway) and all they have to offer. That’s a stereotype, and it’s not supported in reality.
I get why some folks find these kinds of jokes harmless, why maybe even some gay men find them harmless. I don’t claim to speak for all gay men, and I hope neither do they. Speaking for myself, I find these jokes and the attitudes that go with them very uncomfortable to encounter. I gave my reasons earlier in this thread.
But the stereotype in that thread is about gay bars, the notion that the names are traditionally salacious puns. Maybe there’s some undesirable leakage into some people’s perceptions about gay people, but it’s hardly the same thing.
I also find this a bit puzzling. We’re talking about gay bars. Isn’t it perfectly natural (to a point of tautology) that a social venue explicitly focused on people with a certain sexual preference should have some degree of emphasis on, well, the sexual preferences of its target clientele? Not to the exclusion of all else, sure, and there’s no implication that all gay people like going to gay bars.
Sexual orientation tends to include not only “what nerve endings do you like to bring into contact with what other nerve endings”? although certainly that’s a part of it. But there’s also “who do you daydream about dancing with and falling in love with?” and the whole notion of relationship-formation and romance.
I read the complaint as meaning that so many of the suggested names were about specific erotic activities, and that it comes across as reductionistic.
I had a problem with the thread before I opened it… Perfect Name For a Gay Bar.
So, why a specifically Gay Bar? The OP had better have a really shall-we-say flamboyyyyant name in mind…
Nope.
What the hell? With a Star Trek name, maybe a Nerd Bar… but I read the whole thread and never figured out why the OP was fixated on a gay clientele?
(fyi, straight dude here… who might just be ignorant of the fact that gay/closeted/homophobic guys walk around thinking that a cool business name would of course be … a gay bar)
That’s one choice. Or a person could start a GD thread debating that the gay bar name thread was homophobic or otherwise offensive. Or an MPIMS thread bemoaning that after all of the progress the gay community has made, it still must suffer these types of threads. Or start a Pit thread pitting the people who suggested gay bar names.
People are asking that the topic of proposing humorous names for gay bars be banned. And yes, if you are putting conditions on topics, such as we can discuss issue X, but all posters must be “empathetic and sensitive” then you are banning topics, or at least one side of the topic.
I’ll simplify it: don’t be a jerk. If people in your thread are telling you why your comments are hurtful, stop making the comments. No new rule needed.
Posting with empathy and sensitivity is just another way of saying “don’t be a jerk.” That is what a jerk is: someone who is insensitive and/or lacks empathy.
The only issue here is that some people were unaware of how this topic could make people feel. Hopefully they are now aware.
If the entire topic does get banned, it will be because some bad apples were using it as coded attacks on gay people, and they ruined it for the rest of us. That is also something that happens.
How is this discussion going? Is it too soon to expect some resolution?
I realize that the original thread in question has been dormant since Friday. This thread has still been sporadically active, and it is clear that there are posters who don’t understand or don’t care what the bother is. I hope you’re not going to leave it at that, but if you are I hope you will say so.
Bigotry has many degrees and different faces. Beavis and Butthead sniggering has been heavily, and rightly, discouraged here when it is about women. I think this has been fairly successful, I don’t remember seeing much of that around here lately.
Bigotry doesn’t have to be “round them up and put them in concentration camps” it can also be “I find you weird or threatening or disgusting, and I’m going to make sure everyone knows it.” Also different degrees of sanction. In the latter case, “keep it to yourself” is sufficient
Is this going to be addressed? Especially in light of Shodan’s recent banning, deserved as I found it, I think it is important to address these sorts of insults in all cases to avoid the appearance of impropriety.